(12-03-2014, 09:54 PM)blueberryhill Wrote: Went through this years ago. They probably will tell you have irritable bowel, or have colitis, caused by stress. I take nexium and does help with all the belly aches. I take a lot of the pink pills, too. It also turned out that i was lactose intolerant, too and it does help to stay away from dairy products or use sparingly. They do have pillls for that to take before you have that dish of ice cream, or whatever. You also may have diverticulitis (little pockets in colon), which can get infected and cause pain and cramping. This would require colonoscopy. Think this was already discussed here.

Yeah. I'm hoping I have worms instead.

Yeah, I'll take pin worms any day over most ailments.

I've seen some people that have like 15-20 pills they take every morning for this or that. I don't get it. They must shit rainbows.

I was just thinking about having to poop in a mason jar and transport it to the doctors. I couldn't do it, I would just have to keep the worms as pets.

The vet always asks me if I happened to get a stool sample from the dogs. Hell no, just stick one of those swabs up their ass and get it yourself.

I'm sure you could get docs to do that to you too. Heck you might enjoy it.

I know, why did you even bother with all that mess, User? You're the one paying, why should you do all the work?

(12-04-2014, 04:43 PM)sally Wrote: I was just thinking about having to poop in a mason jar and transport it to the doctors.

Yeah and then you're in an accident and one EMT whispers to another, "hey man, this woman is carrying poop in a mason jar" and the next thing you know they've got you on tv with that crazy poop hoarder.

(12-02-2014, 03:51 PM)crash Wrote: Wow..

There goes my Clare Dunphy fantasy. Right out the fucking window. Clare would never do that.

Just change her name to Clare Dumps.

(12-04-2014, 04:53 PM)Duchess Wrote:

(12-04-2014, 04:43 PM)sally Wrote: I was just thinking about having to poop in a mason jar and transport it to the doctors.

Yeah and then you're in an accident and one EMT whispers to another, "hey man, this woman is carrying poop in a mason jar" and the next thing you know they've got you on tv with that crazy poop hoarder.

What do you even carry it in, your purse, a brown paper bag?

(12-04-2014, 04:59 PM)sally Wrote: What do you even carry it in, your purse, a brown paper bag?

I'm not. If I'm ever in that position I intend to tell the Dr. precisely what you tell the vet to do to the family dog. Not kidding. I am not transporting poop under any conditions.

(12-04-2014, 05:03 PM)Duchess Wrote:

(12-04-2014, 04:59 PM)sally Wrote: What do you even carry it in, your purse, a brown paper bag?

I'm not. If I'm ever in that position I intend to tell the Dr. precisely what you tell the vet to do to the family dog. Not kidding. I am not transporting poop under any conditions.

So you want the doctor to stick a hook up your butt and grab a sample? I think carrying it would be the lesser of two evils.

What if the doctor is hot and he bites your neck?

I can't think about this shit.

Getting in the jar would require some thought.

You could put the jar in a bio-hazard cooler and get a medical transport team to escort it to the doctor's office.

I would send it USPS and hope it ends up where they lost my pickles in September..............eat that Bitch!

(12-04-2014, 05:09 PM)Cutz Wrote: What if the doctor is hot and he bites your neck?

That would make it even worse if the doctor was good looking. Would you like to hand over your stool sample to Gisele Buendchen?

I might let her stick something up my bum if she's courteous enough to reach-around.

I'd shit in my hand and walk with it for 5 miles to be able to eat a block of sharp cheddar.

I wish it had been as easy as A jar. I had to shit into this plastic thing and put some in 3 small bottles.Threw the rest on my asshole neighbor's lawn.

I transported it in my Coach bag, of course.

In HINDsight, now that I've discovered I have an ear infection, I'm hoping the stupid antibiotics I have to take will kill any and all worms I might be carting around.

(12-04-2014, 07:09 PM)username Wrote: I transported it in my Coach bag, of course.

It's one and only, true purpose in life.