Jesus Christ, Ramsey.

(04-06-2016, 02:59 PM)Donovan Wrote:

(04-06-2016, 02:28 PM)Duchess Wrote:

(04-06-2016, 01:43 PM)Donovan Wrote: LOL if only I had some sort of jedi mind tricks to get me out of this.

You need a stable home life. Find a decent apartment, preferably in an old Victorian, they have tons of charm and maybe a fireplace and lots of built-ins for all your books. Buy a crockpot so dinner is cooking while you're at work and it smells divine when you come in after a long day. Get some nice bedding *wiggles eyebrows* and use vanilla plugins throughout your new home. Smells are a mindfuck, don't forget that, it can be good or it can be bad, you want good.

What exactly do you look for in a woman? Are your expectations too high and no woman, no where, will ever meet them?

That's where I'm headed. There's a place right on the Erie Canal, across from a pioneer cemetery and in a landmark revolutionary period building. Old buildings just feel more solid to me. Gonna put up my books and invest in some comfort for a change. I'm afraid I'm gonna wind up living in a hovel under a damn tree like pop.

As for expectations, damned if I know. I've tried every kind of woman, and clearly I have not successfully picked one yet. Hell I even thought about trying men, but sausage gives me heartburn. I'm not particularly visual or physical in my criteria, and I seem to favor mentally stimulating and challenging women. Strong minded is a must, I'm a stubborn bastard although I know it doesn't show up in my writing . I truly fear my upbringing has permanently screwed me out of ever doing normal, because I can't wrap my head around normal. No frame of reference. All I can do is keep tallying up the shit they scream at me on the way out, so I can get a clearer picture of what they all seem to agree on.

Stubborn bastard
Childish asshole (probably unfair and I will hold my breath until they take it back)
Coldblooded and emotionless
Condescending prick
Infuriatingly Blunt
Always a million miles away (that's the ADD)
Inflexible and unmovable.
Brutally Honest (this is not a compliment. I apparently say what I am thinking even if I shouldn't)
Circle Talker (that's new, but refers to the vocabulary and the ability to out argue a female. You girls really hate that)
Fucking autistic spectrum jackass(she was really pissed but sometime I wonder)

There are more. But Sally will just say I'm humble-bragging. Mostly I seem to be impossible to live with for any length of time. Unless you're five. Kids love me.

Maybe you have some things to work out first before you try to have a relationship Dono?

(04-06-2016, 03:01 PM)ramseycat Wrote: Let EVA go so she can be free to find a good man that actually cares about and respects her.

Donovan is EVA.

Now I just read through the whole thread. Clearly she's the one in the wrong here. My advice is still the same. Get out. Find someone that cares about you and respects you. I can't believe you even have to ask that at this point.

(04-06-2016, 03:06 PM)Duchess Wrote:

(04-06-2016, 03:01 PM)ramseycat Wrote: Let EVA go so she can be free to find a good man that actually cares about and respects her.

Donovan is EVA.

Shut it! I should have read the whole thing before responding. Sigh...

Quote:@ramsey: elaborate. You've apparently seen through my extremely clever attempt at deception, now in what way am I an idiot?

bin Wrote:APPARENTLY: adverb. used by speakers or writers to avoid committing themselves to the truth of what they are saying

In other words, Ramsey made an assumption, I allowed that assumption to ride using sarcasm and sleight of hand without ever absolutely confirming one way or another. I could have just as easily said "Apparently Ramsey is a martian" and it would have been just as much a statement of fact on my part. Which is to say, none.

Quote:There are more things on heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

(04-06-2016, 03:10 PM)ramseycat Wrote:

(04-06-2016, 03:06 PM)Duchess Wrote:

(04-06-2016, 03:01 PM)ramseycat Wrote: Let EVA go so she can be free to find a good man that actually cares about and respects her.

Donovan is EVA.

Shut it! I should have read the whole thing before responding. Sigh...

I love you anyway, I don't care what these mean girls say about you. And I did sincerely apologize for allowing the misdirection to continue. But it was important to me to get unvarnished truth without bias.

Life is mostly grey to me. I don't see many things as black & white like so many do.

(04-06-2016, 02:47 PM)Blindgreed1 Wrote: WTF is going on the the board today? I swear I'm not messing with the quotes. As you all know I rarely trim quotes.

It did the same to me a couple times. I fixed most but a couple got by me. Mock is a female gender entity. Maybe she's pissed at me too.

But to answer your other question about my original reconciliation: after she spent six months begging me to come back (she had a bad habit of getting pissed and fake-throwing me out, and the last time I let her do it for real) I began to realize that it was possible the "stubbornness that was the destruction of our relationship" might be mine. I am not a person prone to looking back once I've left. And I don't play the typical relationship games many people like, that on-again, off-again shit. This was the first time I made a deliberate effort to look past my own stubbornness and try to build a better partnership.

And if I'm being totally honest, the fear of winding up like pop is very real. Nobody wants to come to the inescapable conclusion they are just too fucking damaged to function in regular society. It's not a pleasant thought.

(04-06-2016, 03:12 PM)Donovan Wrote: I could have just as easily said "Apparently Ramsey is a martian" and it would have been just as much a statement of fact on my part. Which is to say, none.

No that's not the same. What you said when using the word apparently was "Appearing as such, but not necessarily so, Ramsey saw through my clever attempt at deception". So Ramsey may have or may have not seen through your clever attempt at deception, but it's still your clever attempt at deception.


my1.
1.belonging to or associated with the speaker:

(04-06-2016, 03:44 PM)sally Wrote:

(04-06-2016, 03:12 PM)Donovan Wrote: I could have just as easily said "Apparently Ramsey is a martian" and it would have been just as much a statement of fact on my part. Which is to say, none.

No that's not the same. What you said when using the word apparently was "Appearing as such, but not necessarily so, Ramsey saw through my clever attempt at deception". So Ramsey may have or may have not seen through your clever attempt at deception, but it's still your clever attempt at deception.


my1.
1.belonging to or associated with the speaker:

Quote:sar·casm
NOUN
the use of irony to mock or convey contempt:

For example, calling a hypothetical person Jonovan, when your actual name is Donovan, and lightly mocking the first numskull who yells, "HEY I BET JONOVAN IS ACTUALLY YOU!" by saying it was a very clever deception.


I still love Ramsay though, and it looks like I'll have some free evenings soon. Soooo, HMU boo.

So tell me Asshole, why couldn't you just put the story out there the way it is?
Did you think the answers you were seeking were going to be different.
You can still burn her clothes though.
Liar

(04-06-2016, 04:39 PM)FAHQTOO Wrote: So tell me Asshole, why couldn't you just put the story out there the way it is?
Did you think the answers you were seeking were going to be different.
You can still burn her clothes though.
Liar

I believe on the interwebz it's called "fishing for answers."

If I had said my name was involved, the answers would have been biased based on prejudice for or against me. It wouldn't have been " who is correct?" but "does Donovan deserve this."

And if I had left the genders reversed, there was a real possibility of gender bias, as the females of the species tend to support one another against the evils of big stinky men. The scientific term for such an arbitrary grouping is "gaggle of bitches."

I wanted honest opinions not on whether I was right, but on whether I was overreacting to the conditions set forth. In case you people haven't noticed, I need very little encouragement in deciding whether I am right. And even less vocal support.

The actual real reason I needed input is that my obvious decision is to leave, again, and not look back. But there is a five year old boy I love to death who will be crushed when that happens, and since he is no official kin to me my leaving will be effectively ending our relationship as well.

For good.

That puts a hell of a different spin on things. Little dude is special to me more than anybody next to my own boy, but the hard fact is she and I can't stay friends after this. Not this way. So I have to be sure, be DAMN sure, that I am not over reacting or letting irrational jealousy fire my feelings.

Does that make sense to anyone?

Maybe he plans on showing this thread to her because she somehow thinks she's not in the wrong . I mean they were seemingly broken up for good so how can she help it that she fell in love with another man while they were separated. Now she's torn between these two men and it's so hard on her. Just like in those cheesy romance novels. Jonovan can surely understand that, can't he.

I'd say Jonovan is getting played like a fiddle.

This is not what I'd call a win-win situation.

Are you happy, Donovan? Do you want to be with her? Can you get past her not being truthful about the secret meeting?

(04-06-2016, 05:39 PM)sally Wrote: Maybe he plans on showing this thread to her because she somehow thinks she's not in the wrong . I mean they were seemingly broken up for good so how can she help it that she fell in love with another man while they were separated. Now she's torn between these two men and it's so hard on her. Just like in those cheesy romance novels. Jonovan can surely understand that, can't he.

I'd say Jonovan is getting played like a fiddle.

This argument has been put forth in almost exactly these terms. She is emotionally volatile and does not do well with calm. She almost requires a screaming match every now and then, something I simply cannot do. I am the exact opposite when angry, I get very cold and dispassionate, and it stays that way. Walled off. Don't matter what I'm feeling, you don't get the satisfaction of seeing me lose my cool. And I didn't have an issue with her moving on while we were apart. My issue is that she went window shopping after we were back together, looking for a possible upgrade. That is not acceptable.

She won't ever see this thread. This is the girl who once blew up in rabid jealousy because I even talked to you people. God forbid she find out how fucking hot most of you are.

(04-06-2016, 06:17 PM)Duchess Wrote:

Are you happy, Donovan? Do you want to be with her? Can you get past her not being truthful about the secret meeting?

Yes, and I thought so, and no. I enjoy the domestic stuff and looked forward to trying to build a solid life. I love the boy, and this is going on four years together so I am essentially the only stable male role model/dad figure he's had. His own dad, her eldest, is a goddamn flake who can't be bothered to drive across town except every other week for a day or a few hours, and then he just bitches about how unfair his life is. The mom is an ex-stripper borderline retard alcoholic. She shows up every week or so and stares at her phone while he plays nearby. The two of them belong in the thread about planned parenthood.

So this kid is gonna have some lovely issues even without me bolting. But I have no option that involves a positive outcome. He ain't mine.

The honesty is a dealbreaker. When it was one meeting that she volutarily confessed to, that was problematic but isolated. When it was a week of texts she admitted to after I asked point blank, that was a pattern. And her behavior since, where she is doing things like "going to a friend's show" all dressed up without me and refusing to say where...that shit is just childish. We have to be done. But I needed to know I wasn't flying off halfcocked.

It's all cocked or nothing for me.

I would say that since you've been a father figure to the boy and financially supported him for the past four years it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask if you could stay in contact with him. Maybe pick him up once a week to take him to the movies or mini golfing or whatever, basically the same amount of time his own biological parents spend with him. But it doesn't sound like you're dealing with sane, rational people here so that's probably not an option.