I am currently willing to die on stepsons  lack of showers. I will divorce my husband over this, even though I can't smell anything

Choose your battles wisely. 

A path to thy.

I can remember Maggot have the same complaint about his son.

Don't boys grow out of that once they discover girls?

(11-23-2024, 01:28 PM)Duchess Wrote: I can remember Maggot have the same complaint about his son.

Don't boys grow out of that once they discover girls?

Step son's wife divorced him because he didn't shower, which is why he landed here.  He's 36.  I'm upset because my friends won't visit anymore, because he stinks to holy hell.  Step son works for waste management, and smells like an over ripe dumpster.

I did discuss it with the hubs this morning, who informed step son that if he didn't take at least 2 showers a week, he should find somewhere else to live.   

I never had this issue with my bio sons, they shower every day.  

I was just exasperated last night, because he kept coming up with lame excuses as to why he couldn't shower more.

Meh.

What are the excuses?

OMG he's a grown man. I thought it was a kid, a teen. Man. 

(11-23-2024, 05:56 PM)MirahM Wrote: What are the excuses?

His excuse was that I have dinner ready when he gets home ( he gets home at the same time as my husband, and I always make sure that dinner is ready for my husband) and then he is too tired after dinner.

She divorced him because he wouldn't shower. That is both hilarious and pathetic.

(11-23-2024, 07:00 PM)Duchess Wrote: She divorced him because he wouldn't shower. That is both hilarious and pathetic.

Honestly, I believe that she divorced him because he is a lazy piece of shit.  Hubs coddled him because that's*his boy,*  hubs has always trained his daughters different than his son.  

I think I might go 4b

(11-23-2024, 06:36 PM)Duchess Wrote: OMG he's a grown man. I thought it was a kid, a teen. Man. 

Just because he had to get old, doesn't mean he had to grow up. 

I had a cable guy here once and he smelled so good. Not like cologne, just really clean and fresh. I wanted to ask him what soap or body wash he uses just so I could buy myself some, but that would have been awkward.

I love that Sally has a thing for that clean fresh soap smell.

Okay, back to smelling bad.

Is there some kind of trauma this kid experienced?

(11-23-2024, 04:50 PM)cannongal Wrote:

(11-23-2024, 01:28 PM)Duchess Wrote: I can remember Maggot have the same complaint about his son.

Don't boys grow out of that once they discover girls?

Step son's wife divorced him because he didn't shower, which is why he landed here.  He's 36.  I'm upset because my friends won't visit anymore, because he stinks to holy hell.  Step son works for waste management, and smells like an over ripe dumpster.

I did discuss it with the hubs this morning, who informed step son that if he didn't take at least 2 showers a week, he should find somewhere else to live.   

I never had this issue with my bio sons, they shower every day.  

I was just exasperated last night, because he kept coming up with lame excuses as to why he couldn't shower more.

Meh.

My brother Ed is 48 and rarely showers. Why would he need to? No job, living off Social security and disability. Better apartment than my working ass can afford.

This guy works in waste management. And he isn't working at a desk from the sounds (smells) of it.

(11-24-2024, 01:39 AM)MirahM Wrote: Okay, back to smelling bad.

Is there some kind of trauma this kid experienced?

I'm not sure if it would be considered trauma, but his bio mom pretty much abandoned all 3 kids when they were little.  She did pop in and out of their lives while they were growing up.  She also gave him permission (and I mean this literally) to physically abuse his sisters.  I put a stop to that shit 20 years ago.  

I don't think the kids shower problem has to do with trauma, I think it's laziness.  He's always had an attitude of "I live here, that should be good enough for you"

I called the cops on him once, about 18 years ago, because he was trying to force his then pregnant sister to shovel snow, and when I put a stop to it, he took a swing at me.  He spent the night in jail and then begged his father not to throw him out. 

He's still afraid of me for some reason. I mean, it could be because I beamed him on the head with a shovel and dropped him off at a homeless shelter a few days later.
Meh....

Does he have a mental illness? Seems like if people kept telling you to take a shower because you smell like shit that you'd just go take a damn shower.

Poor-self esteem from not having a mom that loved him, is my guess.

(11-25-2024, 01:08 AM)rothschild Wrote: Poor-self esteem from not having a mom that loved him, is my guess.

Could be.  It's weird because he was the only one out of the 3 kids that bio mom had anything to do with.  She would call and only talk to him,  if one of her daughters got on the phone, she would hang up on them.   He's also the only one that got birthday/Christmas presents from her.

Personally I think she was bat shit crazy, and that my husband was a fucking idiot to let her have any contact with the kid,  but hubs believes in giving people 15 million chances to fuck up.