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+--- Thread: Santa letters (/thread-13606.html)
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RE: Santa letters - Clang McFly - 12-13-2018
I'll just FedEx the Polar Bear to PETA and let those assholes deal with him. Noone will she'd a tear for dead PETA employees.
RE: Santa letters - Maggot - 12-20-2018
Dear Mrs. Clause
I know it gets old having the old man farting around the house every fucking day of the year except for one. I just bet you can't wait for him to get his hairy stinky ass out that door and takes those smelly bitching and complaining reindeer for their yearly run. All they do is shit every wheres and nobody knows like you what that looks like in the goddamn snow day after day.
So I have an idea. Why don't you get on a bus or a plane or just hop on one of those pistons Santa uses to get his jollys off on and bring that cute little heart shaped bike seat down to my place this year. Sure we could have some laughs by the fire maybe later go out and make some snow angels in the hay.
The fatman has fucked me for the last time and now I can only ask you to join the party. At least I won't be staying up all night waiting for him anymore and getting fucked wont feel so bad.
Anyways hope you are well and if any of those little beasts called "elves" start driving you crazy with all their gay gatherings and caroling day in day out night and day, just remember me and knock one of those fucks up side his little head and mail him to your lover maggot. I could use him to shovel off a path to my oil tank.
Thank you, your humble servant and confidant.
Maggot.
RE: Santa letters - BigMark - 12-20-2018
She likes it in the chimney.
RE: Santa letters - Maggot - 12-21-2018
(12-20-2018, 09:34 PM)BigMark Wrote: She likes it in the chimney.
That would be her carbon spitting love tunnel.
RE: Santa letters - HairOfTheDog - 12-26-2018
Well, Mags, did Santa do better by you this year.........or did Mrs. Claus heed your call?
RE: Santa letters - Maggot - 12-26-2018
(12-26-2018, 12:00 AM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Well, Mags, did Santa do better by you this year.........or did Mrs. Claus heed your call?
Yes I got my battery operated drill because my old one sucks.
RE: Santa letters - HairOfTheDog - 12-26-2018
(12-26-2018, 02:36 PM)Maggot Wrote:(12-26-2018, 12:00 AM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Well, Mags, did Santa do better by you this year.........or did Mrs. Claus heed your call?
Yes I got my battery operated drill because my old one sucks.
Oh good. I guess you catch more bees with vinegar than honey (or Santa didn't get your notes). ')
RE: Santa letters - BigMark - 12-27-2018
Dewalt?
RE: Santa letters - Maggot - 12-27-2018
(12-27-2018, 12:59 PM)BigMark Wrote: Dewalt?
Milwaukee on my old one I bought 2 new batteries last year and now they wont charge. I'm not buying more batteries.
RE: Santa letters - Maggot - 01-03-2021
Did everyone get what they wanted for Christmas?
RE: Santa letters - Clang McFly - 01-03-2021
(01-03-2021, 10:42 AM)Maggot Wrote: Did everyone get what they wanted for Christmas?No. But then again I don't have many friends and family members that exchange gifts. All I got was a $25 Price Chopper gift card.
RE: Santa letters - BigMark - 01-03-2021
I gave you a hard time.
RE: Santa letters - Duchess - 01-03-2021
(01-03-2021, 10:42 AM)Maggot Wrote: Did everyone get what they wanted for Christmas?
I didn't get a goat...again :(
RE: Santa letters - Maggot - 01-03-2021
I'm growing my goatee back, it's almost there again.
RE: Santa letters - Carsman - 01-03-2021
Mailed a letter to Santa December 15th, it was returned yesterday!
RE: Santa letters - Duchess - 01-03-2021
Oooohhhhh. I love facial hair on a man. Hubba Hubba
I once saw a woman with sideburns. I couldn't take my eyes off it. I was fricken mesmerized.
RE: Santa letters - Maggot - 01-03-2021
Indian women get those Ceylon women too.