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+--- Thread: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? (/thread-10342.html)
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - Midwest Spy - 07-31-2013
(07-31-2013, 02:22 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:(07-31-2013, 12:27 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote: It's that old IBS rearing its ugly head again, right?
Lack of romanticism?
A story from 25 years ago when I was completely naive and didn't realize I should've offered the girl some cash after we were done?
Halitosis?
What???
I'm messing with you, MS.
I don't know if you're at the bottom of the collective Mock chain; no secret poll was taken.
I tell you when I think you're being a dweeb as we go along, so I can't tell you anything from my perspective that you haven't heard before.
Putting personality aside, just a guess when it comes to general physical desirability. Probably not a lot of women with Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Halitosis at the top of their turn-on lists. BUT, there are fetishists for everything out there, somewhere...
HotD, you know I still think you're a hottie... in fact, to quote Robin Thicke from his hit 'Blurred Lines' (a video you should NEVER post here at Mock, because Aussie would believe you LOVE to degrade women), 'you're the hottest bitch in this place'.
My point being, I take all criticism from you, especially you, very seriously.
When you say that I'd be lucky to last 4 minutes with a woman, I say, do you know what kind of practice I needed to put in TO GET to 4 minutes?
However, I've never cried during sex. Not really understanding how that happens.
I'm not romantic (which has not served me very well during my two marriages). To be fair, I told my current wife that very early on in our dating.
I don't lose many arguments, but I will say I'm sorry when I'm wrong or have hurt someone.
A buddy of mine in the service had a friend who had a penis pump. Said his friend would work that baby day and night, and it actually worked. Who knew?
Anyway, I love you're candor, and even Zero's creative ways, so as Crash Davis once told Nuke Laloosh, 'Go ahead. Hit me in the chest with that.'
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - sally - 07-31-2013
So it's settled. MS takes first place as the least sexually desirable because he doesn't wear adult diapers, but probably should. Among various other obvious reasons. Clang takes second for being a fat pedophile and CN third because he can fit his whole body onto a mini skateboard reaching a maximum speed of 120 mph while resembling some sort of orange meteorite.
Tommy Tourette takes honorable mention for no reason other than he does wear adult diapers.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - HairOfTheDog - 07-31-2013
(07-31-2013, 03:33 PM)sally Wrote: So it's settled. MS takes first place as the least sexually desirable because he doesn't wear adult diapers, but probably should. Among various other obvious reasons.
It's settled, as far as I'm concerned. You have your finger on the pulse of Mock, so I trust your rankings.
It's possible that MS could pull himself up a couple of rungs on the ladder in the 2014 rankings if he takes to diapering, right? Depends; could resolve the chronic bad breath problem too by restricting his ability to talk outta his ass as often.
Course, he's gotta put forth the effort and we'd need him to post a selfie in his adult pull-ups before the rankings could be re-evaluated.
Anyway, if MS gets his shit under control, I think Clang could knock him from the #1 spot next year. It could be even better than winning free tickets from the radio station - more personal achievement involved.
IDK, I think Clang's a good bet to steal the 2014 title unless another large, unemployed, cross-dressing, pedo, fire fighter-hating, wanna-be-priest registers and knocks his dick in the dirt.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - FAHQTOO - 07-31-2013
(07-31-2013, 04:24 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:(07-31-2013, 03:33 PM)sally Wrote: So it's settled. MS takes first place as the least sexually desirable because he doesn't wear adult diapers, but probably should. Among various other obvious reasons.
It's settled, as far as I'm concerned. You have your finger on the pulse of Mock, so I trust your rankings.
It's possible that MS could pull himself up a couple of rungs on the ladder in the 2014 rankings if he takes to diapering, right? Depends; could resolve the chronic bad breath problem too by restricting his ability to talk outta his ass as often.
Course, he's gotta put forth the effort and we'd need him to post a selfie in his adult pull-ups before the rankings could be re-evaluated.
Anyway, if MS gets his shit under control, I think Clang could knock him from the #1 spot next year. It could be even better than winning free tickets from the radio station - more personal achievement involved.
IDK, I think Clang's a good bet to steal the 2014 title unless another large, unemployed, cross-dressing, pedo, fire fighter-hating, wanna-be-priest registers and knocks his dick in the dirt.
That was fucking hilarious ...and brilliant!
If I wasn't stuck on my phone, I would have a reply for every comment.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - crash - 07-31-2013
(07-31-2013, 12:27 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote: It's that old IBS rearing its ugly head again, right?
Well, while you're quoting cheesy lines, there's one in The Coward of the County
There's some one for everyone..
Doesn't Ramsey have IBS too? Maybe it's a pretty shitty match; they're probably both crap in bed anyway.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - sally - 07-31-2013
(07-31-2013, 04:54 PM)crash Wrote: Doesn't Ramsey have IBS too? Maybe it's a pretty shitty match; they're probably both crap in bed anyway.
The shit is gonna hit the fan when Ramsey sees this.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - Duchess - 07-31-2013
...and I wondered if she would even give two shits.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - sally - 07-31-2013
The pope doesn't always shit in the woods Duchess, it may have impacted her a bit.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - aussiefriend - 07-31-2013
If you need any help with your acceptance speech MWS let me know I will give you a hand.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - Duchess - 07-31-2013
My mind just shot straight to the gutter.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - HairOfTheDog - 07-31-2013
(07-31-2013, 07:28 PM)Duchess Wrote:
My mind just shot straight to the gutter.
Aussie's compassionate when members get gang-mocked and probably concerned about damage to MS's ego.
I believe she's sincere about giving this member a hand and probably just the one to stroke MS a little.
Bettin' he'll rise again shortly and be back in action soon enough...
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - sally - 07-31-2013
(07-31-2013, 07:14 PM)aussiefriend Wrote: If you need any help with your acceptance speech MWS let me know I will give you a hand.
His bowels are already irritated enough, Aussie. Sometimes you have to leave things to their own device and let it work out on it's own.
Unless of course you want to be smacked in the face with a sunflower seed shit ball.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - aussiefriend - 07-31-2013
(07-31-2013, 07:28 PM)Duchess Wrote: My mind just shot straight to the gutter.
hang on, I didn't, I wasn't, nevermind.(07-31-2013, 10:38 PM)sally Wrote: Unless of course you want to be smacked in the face with a sunflower seed shit ball.
Because I am a nurse I can tolerate some things, but even I have a threshold.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - aussiefriend - 07-31-2013
I am going to leave MS in HoTDs capable hands. She has got it covered.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - crash - 07-31-2013
(07-31-2013, 07:38 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:(07-31-2013, 07:28 PM)Duchess Wrote:
My mind just shot straight to the gutter.
Aussie's compassionate when members get gang-mocked and probably concerned about damage to MS's ego.
I believe she's sincere about giving this member a hand and probably just the one to stroke MS a little.
Bettin' he'll rise again shortly and be back in action soon enough...
Ramsey will surely have the shits about that.
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - Duchess - 08-01-2013
(07-31-2013, 10:40 PM)aussiefriend Wrote:
Uh huh. You know what a horny bastard he is. He's probably imagining you in your nurse's uniform giving him the hands on treatment. *nods*
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - ramseycat - 08-01-2013
(08-01-2013, 05:52 AM)Duchess Wrote:(07-31-2013, 10:40 PM)aussiefriend Wrote:
Uh huh. You know what a horny bastard he is. He's probably imagining you in your nurse's uniform giving him the hands on treatment. *nods*
A sexy spong bath....
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - sally - 08-01-2013
Oh come on Ramsey, a spong bath?
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - ramseycat - 08-01-2013
I made a typo! So freakin what. When are you people going to focus on something else????
RE: WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? - HairOfTheDog - 08-01-2013
(08-01-2013, 10:08 AM)ramseycat Wrote: I made a typo! So freakin what. When are you people going to focus on something else????
Thought maybe you picked up some lingo from ESAD and were giving MS shit.
A spong is a hybrid of spastic and mong, prooving the word spong as being a great insult to all ur friends, family and your enemies
"Craig u retard, ur such a spong!!!"
"All u do all say long is spong around"
Anyway, MS was a good sport yesterday.
I'm sure he'll enjoy that long relaxing sponge bath from Nurse aussiefriend; he deserves it.