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+-- Forum: Funny Shit & Good Shit (https://mockforums.net/forum-6.html)
+--- Forum: Funny Shit (https://mockforums.net/forum-14.html)
+--- Thread: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or Southerner? (/thread-2993.html)
- Liquid - 06-29-2008
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife
comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert
shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What
do you do?
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THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:
Democrat's Answer :
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be
content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my
family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1 ?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and
make this happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with
some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
........................................................................
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Republican's Answer:
BANG!
........................................................................
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Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
- Lady Cop - 06-29-2008
i really hate dumbasses who have nothing better to do than post whatever they got in their emails.
- Middle Finger - 06-29-2008
jackboots Wrote:i really hate dumbasses who have nothing better to do than post whatever they got in their emails.Good point. That being said, I would pick the Republican response.
- Liquid - 06-29-2008
Middle Finger Wrote:jackboots Wrote:i really hate dumbasses who have nothing better to do than post whatever they got in their emails.Good point. That being said, I would pick the Republican response.
me 2. and regardless of where it came from - it is funny.
jackboots, grow some balls, actually use them, and leave your house every now and then. only then will you accurately realize what a monumental loser you are.
- Lady Cop - 06-29-2008
Liquid Wrote:er stupid...i don't need balls. i'm a woman. and i'm a cop, so i sure as shit don't need pansy-ass balls like you allegedly have. go back to scratching them you big fat slob. you couldn't do what i do on your best day.Middle Finger Wrote:jackboots Wrote:i really hate dumbasses who have nothing better to do than post whatever they got in their emails.Good point. That being said, I would pick the Republican response.
me 2. and regardless of where it came from - it is funny.
jackboots, grow some balls, actually use them, and leave your house every now and then. only then will you accurately realize what a monumental loser you are.
- Liquid - 06-29-2008
jackboots Wrote:1) not fat, not even closeLiquid Wrote:er stupid...i don't need balls. i'm a woman. and i'm a cop, so i sure as shit don't need pansy-ass balls like you allegedly have. go back to scratching them you big fat slob. you couldn't do what i do on your best day.Middle Finger Wrote:jackboots Wrote:i really hate dumbasses who have nothing better to do than post whatever they got in their emails.Good point. That being said, I would pick the Republican response.
me 2. and regardless of where it came from - it is funny.
jackboots, grow some balls, actually use them, and leave your house every now and then. only then will you accurately realize what a monumental loser you are.
2) and you are sorely mistaken about your assessment of what I can or can not do, on any day.
And if you are a cop I shudder to think about the uneven prejudiced profiling justice you might be promoting. that is even scarier then anything else.
- Lady Cop - 06-29-2008
you know what you know about how i have done my job over the years? exactly nothing.
- Sinister - 06-29-2008
This "joke" is still floating around the internet? I think the first time I read it was about 2 years ago. :
:::::::::
- LuMPyPussy - 06-29-2008
I'd use my awesome mental powers to levitate the jihad guy and then make him explode in a shower of blood and guts over Paris Hilton.
- Liquid - 06-29-2008
jackboots Wrote:you know what you know about how i have done my job over the years? exactly nothing.you are the asshole who brought up what I could or could not do. So don't talk about me if you can not take it.
Just as I suspected. You can dish it out but can not take it. Probably the same way you unfairly do you job using intimidation and force instead of being a peace officer. Probably just another prejudiced cop who we read about regularly for abusing the rights of the people.