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+--- Thread: WomanOfMyBeans (/thread-367.html)
- OnBendedKnee - 07-26-2009
Round table discussion at work confirms they do. I was of the "then why don't you ever hear them do so?" camp.
If a tree falls in the forest and there is not an ear to hear it, does it make a sound?
See?
I believe if there is not an ear to hear it nor a nose to smell it, women do not fart.
Please discuss.
![[Image: beans.jpg]](http://www.boomspeed.com/braddick/beans.jpg)
- Luke Warmwater - 07-26-2009
yes...yes they do. And it's very difficult to balance them on your forehead.
- The Antagonist - 07-26-2009
NO. We are angelic.
Seriously, if anyone ever heard me fart I would die of embarassment right there on the spot.
Never did my ex during our 21 years of marriage hear me fart and the same goes for my BF of 10 years.
I also believe some things like peeing and crapping belong behind a closed door. For both partners.
- LuMPyPussy - 07-26-2009
I'll see if I can record one of my farts for your listening pleasure.
- Maggot - 07-26-2009
They do not fart......they let it build up and it comes out as a sneeze.
edited to add: They make cover sounds so when you hear them making loud noises and cranking up the radio you will know that something is up.
Also they light a bunch of cover candles, that confuse the victim.
- OnBendedKnee - 07-26-2009
Another point of view I found on the web:
_____________________________________
Not only is the elusive potpourri poop-chute a myth, a woman's fart is embarrassing whereas a guy's fart is something to behold, like a fine wine you swish in your mouth and spit out to savor the flavors. A real fart is beefy, has a density greater than or equal to the air surrounding it, consists of the unmistakable scent of broccoli, and usually requires wiping afterwards. When a woman farts, it can best be described as "efficient." The sound is a modest toot; a minimalistic, almost innocent sounding release. A true testament to the jumbled bundle of neurons that goes into mapping every woman's brain to her asshole. The efficiency comes from the ratio of reek to weak (how bad her fart smells in proportion to how weak-sounding it was).
The farting double-standard is bullshit. Women giggle and put their hand up to their mouths, as if to say "oops! I'm cute!" No bitch, you're not cute. Your shit stinks. Either fart loud and deny it, or don't fart at all. Leave the farting to men, at least we know how to get the job done.
- Maggot - 07-26-2009
You Fucker! Now she is gonna post the sound of a fart.::gahh::
- LKTraz - 07-26-2009
There are women who suppress their farts. The end result is that they bitch constantly so as to relieve inner pressure and avoid the risk of exploding.
- LuMPyPussy - 07-26-2009
http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=356426871.m4a
- LKTraz - 07-26-2009
A descending flutterblast!
I'll give that one a 6 for originality and only a 4 for juiciness.
- LuMPyPussy - 07-26-2009
LKTraz Wrote:A descending flutterblast!I didn't want it too juicy, I was holding my iphone up to my ass. :
I'll give that one a 6 for originality and only a 4 for juiciness.
:
- ramseycat - 07-26-2009
Oh for the love of Pete, of course women fart. I do it all the time. Not in front of anyone or at work. I do fart in front of the boys though. Boys think it's hilarious. The other day Zack asked me if my farts come out in a pink cloud. hahhaaa I used to fart around my ex so he would go away.
- FAHQTOO - 07-26-2009
The Antagonist Wrote:NO. We are angelic.
Seriously, if anyone ever heard me fart I would die of embarassment right there on the spot.
Never did my ex during our 21 years of marriage hear me fart and the same goes for my BF of 10 years.
I also believe some things like peeing and crapping belong behind a closed door. For both partners.
Agreed on all points.
But, when no ones around........
...............:
:- OnBendedKnee - 07-26-2009
"Yes, but with no stench"
ZERO votes.
I see Frank has yet to participate.
- sally - 07-26-2009
I don't. My husband is finally convinced that I don't poop either. After 17 years he has never caught me doing it. On the other hand, he seems to spend half his life on the shitter and the other half farting. Sometimes he farts in the grocery store and walks away leaving me standing there looking like I did it.
- Middle Finger - 07-26-2009
ramseycat Wrote:Oh for the love of Pete, of course women fart. I do it all the time.
I used to fart around my ex so he would go away.
What a class-act you are, Ramsey. You've obviously acquired great wisdom regarding relationships. You are a disgusting, low-class, dopey-ass soup chicken.
- Maggot - 07-26-2009
I will not "save to my computer" Lumpies Fart! ::batguy::