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They walk among us, drive cars and vote!
#1
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest
one Sears made at that time, a 12 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 14 horsepower.' I responded that 12 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by
cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore'
From Kingman, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, What on earth are blind people doing driving?
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi

STAY ALERT.
They walk among us, drive cars and vote.
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#2
Idiot sighting:

Tonight I was out in my garage and I heard some noise outside so I went around the back way and snuck up to the front of the house.One ofmy cars is parked in a darker spot by some trees and I saw a shadow and heard some whispering, Isnuck to the back of the car and caught two maybe 16 yr old kids trying to siphon gas. One of themran away but the other I snagged by his shirt and threw him on the ground and grabbed his shirt again. I was going to punch him but the kid shrieked like a girl and stopped wiggling, so I drug him to the street light and realized he was just a kid. I asked him what he thought about his chickenshit buddy that ran away and he said that he does'nt even have a car and he was helping his buddy. I pulled the garage door opener out of my pocket and brought him to the door that was really lite up. I asked him what his parents would think of going to the police station and picking him up tonight and he started crying. I felt kinda bad for the kid and said I tell ya what if you drink this coffee cup full of gas I will not call the cops. I still had him by the shirt and almost had him off the ground and hesaid that he had to go to school tomorrow and he had snuck out and bla bla bla. I told him he had a choice drink the gas or my cell phone was right there (thats when I pointed to it for dramatic effect) He agreed to drink the gas! I even made him pour it into the cup.:Diablo:He drank it and I pushed him out the door and said I wouldshove a sparkler down his throat for dessert next time he came around my house trying to steal something,he ran up the street and I saw him puking on some guys lawn. Sometimes I surprize myself.Then the lady across the street turned on her porch light and I went back in the garage and closed the door, and finished my work. I hope he turns into a self supporting American now.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#3
I would not be surprised in the screwed up world we live in if you did not get arrested or charged with assault and/or attempted murder. Sad Sad world we live in. I know that sounds ridiculous, but so are many of the things that happen these days.

I for one support what you did 100% You should have shoved the hose they were using to siphon the gas up the kids ass and told him that was how it would feel in jail when he was getting fucked each night by Bubba as his bitch toy.
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#4
Maggot, you lyin?
86 112
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#5
The example with the change actually happened to me...I thought it was a joke...It wasn't...The kid had to rely on the cash register to tell him how much money to give back...He was totally & completely confused.
[Image: Zy3rKpW.png]
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#6
Middle Finger Wrote:Maggot, you lyin?
Yes, it was not a completely filled coffee cupit was about half-way. Maybe 3-4 swallows.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#7
LOL good for you, Maggot! Little bastards.

Duchess, we play head games with idiot kids all the time with change when we shop. We make sure to give bills then the correct change and giggle when they can't figure out the change.

The trick is to give them the money AFTER they see our $20 (or whatever) bill and they've rung the draw up according to that bill they see. THEN we say, "hang on I got the change!" and give it to them.

The look on their face is priceless. It's utter befuddlement on an idiot. We giggle and tell them the correct amount to give. Then we usually ask them if they teach how to count money in school anymore. You won't believe how many say no.

Sad isn't it?
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#8
Many times I give the exact amount down to the penny it usually only pisses off the person behind me.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#9
One of my girlfriends girlfriends.......

GF - "Dwarves and midgets are so creepy, why would anyone choose to be that small ?"

Me - "....................What ?"

Yes, she actually believed that dwarves and midgets make a conscious decision to be as short as they are. ::bang::



I am sitting in the lounge watching the original Planet of the apes, Charlton Heston is being chased by apes on horseback.......

Sevenna - "Is that Ben Hur again ?"

Me - "yeah Ben Hur theape on horseback uncut version".




We need to punish the French, ignore the Germans and forgive the Russians - Condoleezza Rice.
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#10
Maggot Wrote:
Middle Finger Wrote:Maggot, you lyin?
Yes, it was not a completely filled coffee cupit was about half-way. Maybe 3-4 swallows.
::dlaugh::
86 112
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#11
Ordinary Peephole Wrote:One of my girlfriends girlfriends.......

GF - "Dwarves and midgets are so creepy, why would anyone choose to be that small ?"

Me - "....................What ?"

Yes, she actually believed that dwarves and midgets make a conscious decision to be as short as they are. ::bang::



I am sitting in the lounge watching the original Planet of the apes, Charlton Heston is being chased by apes on horseback.......

Sevenna - "Is that Ben Hur again ?"

Me - "yeah Ben Hur theape on horseback uncut version".
I see you surround yourself with the most intelligent people in the UK. Do you have to spoon feed your girlfriend because she can't remember how to feed herself too?
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#12
Ordinary Peephole Wrote:One of my girlfriends girlfriends.......
How many fucking girlfriends and kids with girlfriends do you have? Does your girlfriend's girlfriends have spawn by you out of wedlock, too? Ever hear of MARRIAGE?
86 112
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#13
Quote:One of my girlfriends girlfriends.......

Does sevenna know you have more than one girlfriend? Is sevenna as stupid as this girlfriend? Is it common practice for you to surround yourself with people dumber than you are and how hard is it to find a person that ignorant? 'Course we are talking about people in the UK, so maybe it's easier to find morons there.

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#14
Sinister Wrote:
Quote:One of my girlfriends girlfriends.......

Does sevenna know you have more than one girlfriend? Is sevenna as stupid as this girlfriend? Is it common practice for you to surround yourself with people dumber than you are and how hard is it to find a person that ignorant? 'Course we are talking about people in the UK, so maybe it's easier to find morons there.

A simple spelling mistake you stupid biker retard.

Why don't you get on your bike and take a one way nose dive into a ravine full of jagged rocks you sour faced old bint?
We need to punish the French, ignore the Germans and forgive the Russians - Condoleezza Rice.
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#15
Middle Finger Wrote:
Ordinary Peephole Wrote:One of my girlfriends girlfriends.......
How many fucking girlfriends and kids with girlfriends do you have? Does your girlfriend's girlfriends have spawn by you out of wedlock, too? Ever hear of MARRIAGE?

IT WAS A SPELLING MISTAKE, do you speaka da English greaseball?.

Stick another Calzone in your fat face and shut the fuck up.

My relationship is so strong it does not require a legally binding contract.


We need to punish the French, ignore the Germans and forgive the Russians - Condoleezza Rice.
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#16
Ordinary Peephole Wrote:
Middle Finger Wrote:
Ordinary Peephole Wrote:One of my girlfriends girlfriends.......
How many fucking girlfriends and kids with girlfriends do you have? Does your girlfriend's girlfriends have spawn by you out of wedlock, too? Ever hear of MARRIAGE?

IT WAS A SPELLING MISTAKE, do you speaka da English greaseball?.

Stick another Calzone in your fat face and shut the fuck up.

My relationship is so strong it does not require a legally binding contract.
I didn't take your spelling the wrong way. I knew you meant "girlfriend's." I was asking anyway. Your excuse not to get married is a full of shit baby excuse. Be a man and ask that woman to marry you, you retard.
86 112
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#17
He's too much of a coward to do so. The only thing he has committed to is his love of self. He cannot love anyone more than he loves himself and if he tries to say otherwise, he's a dirty liar.

It is easier for him to run away should he so choose if he's not legally bound.

Unless it's his partner who won't marry him? Does she know he's such a shit and only keeps him around until she's done with him?
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#18
I can ask her FOR YOU if you're afraid, Metro boy.

It's Pillow Bitch to the rescue!! ::iwon::
86 112
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#19
How fucking sweet! O.P. has a girlfriend!
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#20
hhhhmmmmmmmm.............never used applesauce before.47
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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