Do you ever wonder about people you don't know?

[Cracker]

A few years ago, right after school started, two kids were killed when they were hauling ass on their way home from work at the local grocery store. They hit a tree right around the corner from one kid's house.

I don't know the family, but one of my kids knew the boy and pointed his house out to me. It is in the neighborhood across the main road from me that we cut through sometimes to go to the local strip mall.

At first, there were tons of high school kids over there, consoling the parents, I guess. Letting them know they weren't alone. Then a few months later, there were no kids but the yard and house looked nice with fresh planted flowers and kempt lawn.

Six months later the house started looking pretty bad (but it was winter, so they get a pass). Last year the lawn was looking rough and the plants were all dead.

Today I cut through on my way to buy some Pinesol (it's fixin' to get all piney up in here!), and I saw the house was foreclosed. I guess the neighbors were keeping their stuff up for them the first few months, but after that they were left to their own fate.

I feel badly for them. I think it was their only kid. They have had a fucked up couple of years.

I had a fucked up couple of years, very close to their kind of fucked up, but I keep the grass cut and house note paid. I wish they could have found a way to be OK.

Bless you people that I don't know. Hold on.

[Lady Cop]

yes, much to my chagrin, i get all emotional about people i don't know. when i see tragic stories.

[JsMom]

There is nothing wrong with a big heart.

I know you don't like to admit it, Cracker, but you are a softy at heart.

LC, as well.

I really hate seeing elders struggling, Our Vet's losing everything, and These precious children being killed for no damn reason!

I do get very emotional

[Fibonacci Prima]

That's so sad. I see people all the time at the worst times of their lives. Some fall apart, some show inhuman strength, and some bury it so deep it's scary.

Just got back from a memorial for one of my long time kiddos and my heart is so heavy today. Her mom is one of those strong ones. Amazing actually. Another of my moms is medicated and in therapy after 2 years.

[FAHQTOO]

Yes. I think if you have a heart at all, you can't help wondering about people you don't know.
We had 2 bad weather weather related tragedys in the last 10 days that were really on my mind and I know none of these people.
The first was a UPS man getting killed 2 blocks away during a thunderstorm. A wind shear knocked over a tree and it fell on his truck and killed him instantly.
The second was one of the victims of the Indiana State Fair stage collapse was a local woman. She just graduated college and was supposed to start a new teaching job on Monday. One man just doing his job and a woman going out to have a good time and see a concert. It makes you think about a lot of uncomfortable shit. Here one minute...gone the next.

[HairOfTheDog]

I run a business that provides in-home assistance to seniors. It's rewarding and sometimes heartbreaking.

My average client is 88 years old. Some have family locally, some don't have any family, and others have family out of state/country. Many of them have dementia and some have Alzheimer's.

I have a client named Martha who is 83 and lives alone. Martha is from Central America originally, but has been in the US since she was 14 years old and her deceased husband "looked just like John Wayne". He was 6'2" and Martha is 4'10". She is so cute; she tells me about her husband and shows me his picture every time I visit her. She has 2 daughters in their 50s and a son in his late 40s. They all live within 30 miles of her, but they rarely visit (they rotate weekends). Three weeks ago, her caregiver called me to report that Martha was wandering around the block crying when she arrived at the house. Thank god her caregiver showed up early for her shift. Martha lives near a very busy street. Her widowed sister (who was her lifetime confidante) used to live 3 doors down from Martha until she passed 2 years ago. Martha forgot her sister had passed and had gone, in robe and slippers, and knocked on the door over and over that morning. The new owners were at work so no one answered. Martha was so upset and thought her sister was mad and ignoring her. She told her caregiver she was so lonely that her eyes felt like faucets. Her caregiver reminded her gently that her sister was gone. Martha had forgotten all about it by the time she got dressed for lunch.

I called Martha's children to inform them about her loneliness and the safety risks of her wandering alone. I made easy recommendations to alleviate some of the loneliness and minimize Martha's ability to walk right out the front gate alone. Her children aren't bad people, but they are not as warm as their mother and seem so indifferent. They have not made any changes that were recommended. While I have a lot of clients, for some reason I can't stop wondering about what's going on in Martha's head and heart. I find myself hoping several times a day that Martha just holds on and feels fine until the next time her caregiver arrives for a visit.

Sorry for such a long post; it was surprisingly therapeutic to get it out.

[Midwest Spy]

You want to hear a really well-written song, listen to 'Wolves' by Garth Brooks, off the 'No Fences' CD.

It basically talks about the same things Cracker addressed.

[Cynical Ninja]

Yes even the tragedy of complete strangers upsets me.

[Cracker]

I'll help, or at least care, about anybody who is trying. I know bad stuff happens to good people sometimes. It isn't a fancy house, it's in the older part of the neighborhood, and they didn't have new cars there when they still lived there, so I assume they didn't over-buy. It took a few years for them to go under after that tragedy. :(

I have no patience or sympathy for adults who make other adults care for them by using whatever lame excuses they come up with these days. I can't imagine working all day and coming home to a man on the couch or having a bunch of kids I couldn't feed on my own. People who are living off someone else's charity (public aid, family contributions, spouse who supports them) don't have the same worries. They are less human to me. Their opinion doesn't count.

In fact, I like this:

Alfred W. Evans’ letter to the Waco Tribune Herald Nov, 2010:


Put me in charge…

Put me in charge of food stamps. I’d get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks to cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I’d do is get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we’ll test all recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke, or get tats and piercings, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your “home” will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you to do. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good”.

Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be “demeaning” and ruin their “self esteem”, consider that is wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

[username]

Our next door neighbors, for roughly 10 years, were this elderly Asian couple. They totally kept to themselves. I *think* they had kids but they were long gone by the time we moved in. Every morning around 6am, they would take a walk, holding hands and then spend about 5 minutes doing Tai Chi. That's pretty much the only time I saw them.

The husband died pretty suddenly. About a month later, a neighbor found the wife in their garage--she had hung herself from the rafters.

I wonder about them, I wonder about their kids (where were you, kids?) and I wonder if we, as neighbors, could have done more.

[IMaDick]

I care about OP, I think he must be the most miserable little pud in the world. There is just no other way it can be.

[Cracker]

Our next door neighbors, for roughly 10 years, were this elderly Asian couple. Every morning around 6am, they would take a walk, holding hands and then spend about 5 minutes doing Tai Chi.
The husband died pretty suddenly. About a month later, a neighbor found the wife in their garage--she had hung herself from the rafters.

Aww. That's sad and cute.

[username]

Our next door neighbors, for roughly 10 years, were this elderly Asian couple. Every morning around 6am, they would take a walk, holding hands and then spend about 5 minutes doing Tai Chi.
The husband died pretty suddenly. About a month later, a neighbor found the wife in their garage--she had hung herself from the rafters.

Aww. That's sad and cute.

Cute wasn't a word I would have used to describe it but I get your point. How about bittersweet. Tragic and touching. On Golden Pond.

[username]

Our next door neighbors, for roughly 10 years, were this elderly Asian couple. Every morning around 6am, they would take a walk, holding hands and then spend about 5 minutes doing Tai Chi.
The husband died pretty suddenly. About a month later, a neighbor found the wife in their garage--she had hung herself from the rafters.

Aww. That's sad and cute.

Cute wasn't a word I would have used to describe it but I get your point. How about bittersweet. Tragic and touching. On Golden Pond.

[username]

Our next door neighbors, for roughly 10 years, were this elderly Asian couple. Every morning around 6am, they would take a walk, holding hands and then spend about 5 minutes doing Tai Chi.
The husband died pretty suddenly. About a month later, a neighbor found the wife in their garage--she had hung herself from the rafters.

Aww. That's sad and cute.

Cute wasn't a word I would have used to describe it but I get your point. How about bittersweet. Tragic and touching. On Golden Pond.

[Cracker]

Nah, wee lil' Asian couples are cute. See...

Like lil' yellow leprecauns!

[ZEROSPHERES]

Look, I want to do it here, the garage is too depressing.

[Cracker]

Bad, Zero, baaad.

Is it true love or codependence? The world will never know...

[ZEROSPHERES]

Cracker, I think he suffers from Pho dependence

[IMaDick]

it's on golden pond with oriental actors instead of white actors.

It's so much more realistic.