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My girlfriend has many good qualities shes pretty, kind hearted, patient (she puts up with me) and loving. Another benefit is her friends because they are all idiots, I mean real idiots......
Examples:-
Melanie - "Is Egypt in Europe or Asia?"
Me - "no, Africa"
Melanie "Hah, good job you aren't a geologist!"
Me -  ::dunno::
Me - "Do you know where Vienna is?"
Melanie - ".................Italy?"
Me - "nah"
Melanie - "...............Rome?"
Me -
laura - "Was middle earth before or after the dinosaurs?"
Me - ::laugh::::doh::
(while I was playing five a side football on an astroturf pitch Laura turned to my girlfriend and said........)
"Doesn't astroturf give you hayfever?"
Melanie - "Have you seen that vampire film with Hugh jackman, Helsinki?"
Me - ::laugh::::doh::"You mean Van Helsing?"
Melanie - "No, that was the name of that rapper that got shot"
Me -::dunno::
We need to punish the French, ignore the Germans and forgive the Russians - Condoleezza Rice.
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Hahahahaha............................That was freakin' funny, OP...I think I may know those women.
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Laura and her husband came over to our house for a barbecue a few months ago, among the things we cooked up indoors to go with the burgers and sausages were curly fries.
Laura - "How do they make curly fries?"
Me - "They make them from special curly potatoes, they taste even better mashed"
She spent the next week looking for curly potatoes to buy!
We need to punish the French, ignore the Germans and forgive the Russians - Condoleezza Rice.
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Ordinary Peephole Wrote:Laura and her husband came over to our house for a barbecue a few months ago, among the things we cooked up indoors to go with the burgers and sausages were curly fries.
Laura - "How do they make curly fries?"
Me - "They make them from special curly potatoes, they taste even better mashed"
She spent the next week looking for curly potatoes to buy! OH SHIT!!!
Opie that was funny as hell! Now I think I have your true diagnosis ready
::lmao::::lmao::::lmao::
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Quote:Stupid things women say
The dumbest thing your girlfriend ever said was OK to a date with YOU.
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Middle Finger Wrote:Quote:Stupid things women say
The dumbest thing your girlfriend ever said was OK to a date with YOU.
Thanks for ruining yet another thread with your witless and pathetic contribution greaseball.
We need to punish the French, ignore the Germans and forgive the Russians - Condoleezza Rice.
Posts: 14,114
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Ordinary Peephole Wrote:Middle Finger Wrote:Quote:Stupid things women say
The dumbest thing your girlfriend ever said was OK to a date with YOU.
Thanks for ruining yet another thread with your witless and pathetic contribution greaseball. Thanks for being another self-absorbed closet homo arrogant British fuck like Geriatric Howard.
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Getting the thread back on track with some actual entertainment and humour.
Melanies husband got a Sky+ satellite digital box, it means you can record whole series of programs and pause live TV (i.e live sport if you need to take a piss)
Melanie - "So we can pause live TV!"
Me - "Thats cool"
Melanie - "Can you fast forward live TV?"
Me - "No, the digital box does not let you travel forward in time!"
::doh::
We need to punish the French, ignore the Germans and forgive the Russians - Condoleezza Rice.
Posts: 1,558
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Joined: Jul 2008
Ordinary Peephole Wrote:Getting the thread back on track with some actual entertainment and humour.
Melanies husband got a Sky+ satellite digital box, it means you can record whole series of programs and pause live TV (i.e live sport if you need to take a piss)
Melanie - "So we can pause live TV!"
Me - "Thats cool"
Melanie - "Can you fast forward live TV?"
Me - "No, the digital box does not let you travel forward in time!"
::doh:: The "GOODSON" is a true comedian and gets my votes every time...hahahah
::lmao::::lmao::::lmao::::lmao::
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Middle Finger Wrote:Ordinary Peephole Wrote:Middle Finger Wrote:Quote:Stupid things women say
The dumbest thing your girlfriend ever said was OK to a date with YOU.
Thanks for ruining yet another thread with your witless and pathetic contribution greaseball. Thanks for being another self-absorbed closet homo arrogant British fuck like Geriatric Howard. Your fucking obsession with me in your random posting is a great cause for concern.
You're quite obviously in need of urgent medical treatment, preferably by a well qualified psychiatrist.
The technical term for your illness is total insanity.
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Howard_hopkinso Wrote:Middle Finger Wrote:Ordinary Peephole Wrote:Middle Finger Wrote:Quote:Stupid things women say
The dumbest thing your girlfriend ever said was OK to a date with YOU.
Thanks for ruining yet another thread with your witless and pathetic contribution greaseball. Thanks for being another self-absorbed closet homo arrogant British fuck like Geriatric Howard. Your fucking obsession with me in your random posting is a great cause for concern.
You're quite obviously in need of urgent medical treatment, preferably by a well qualified psychiatrist.
The technical term for your illness is total insanity. Personally, I think it's best described as "somewhat grouchy from an extended period of time totally lacking in weed."
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Middle Finger Wrote:Quote:
Personally, I think it's best described as "somewhat grouchy from an extended period of time totally lacking in weed." Come to my house, baby & in no time at all you'll be loose as a goose !
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Duchess Wrote:Middle Finger Wrote:Quote:
Personally, I think it's best described as "somewhat grouchy from an extended period of time totally lacking in weed." Come to my house, baby & in no time at all you'll be loose as a goose !  ::boobs::
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Women don't have a monopoly on stupidity though.........
Bobby Robson is the ex manager of the England football team, his tactical acumen and management skills are matched only by his general ignorance and mental confusion.
While signing copies of his autobiography at a large book store in Newcastle, a young lad was at the front of the queue clutching his book tightly in his hand, as he handed it over to Robson he said.........
"How many books have you signed today Mr Robson?"
Robson replied............
"Hundreds son, hundreds and hundreds !"
As the young lad left the store to read what dedication Robson had written in his book he saw this..................
"Best wishes to Jimmy, from Bobby hundreds" !!
We need to punish the French, ignore the Germans and forgive the Russians - Condoleezza Rice.
Posts: 15,939
Threads: 392
Joined: Jun 2008
Alan Shearer, former England international and Newcastle striker (and living god amongst men) was having a bad game, the referee was making a lot of questionable decisions and Shearer was getting pissed off.
Shearer - "What would happen if I called you a cunt?"
Referee - "I would have to give you a red card and send you off!"
Shearer - "What if I just thought you were a cunt?"
Referee - "Not much I could do about that!"
Shearer - "Okay.....in that case I think you are a cunt!"
We need to punish the French, ignore the Germans and forgive the Russians - Condoleezza Rice.
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