We're in the Money! Brilliant Mock Biz Ideas

[HairOfTheDog]

RG has his novelty Birthday Wish that I really think could be a springboard to a line of alternative greeting cards. I'd be interested in hearing "alternative" wishes for Get Well, Condolences, New Baby, etc...


Any other novel mock ideas to make some money on the side?

[Riotgear]

And let's not forget we have to find a way people can pay with EBT so we can recop some of our taxes and come out on top ala' American Dream.

[HairOfTheDog]

And let's not forget we have to find a way people can pay with EBT so we can recop some of our taxes and come out on top ala' American Dream.

Wow, you really have a mind for business. That's a huge target market.

You've got work to do, however. I may invest if your greetings for other occasions live up to your birthday greetings text. Should be a full line, I'm thinking.

Now, I'm putting on my thinking cap and trying to come up with my biz concept. I'm inspired!

[Riotgear]

I don't know, I'm pretty focused on people having unprotected sex, making babies and whatnot. I'm going to have to work on branching out.

Speaking of making babies - Did you know the 'pill' interferes with a percentage of women's sense of smell making it harder for them to identify some genetic markers that determine elegibility in potential mates?

Card opens -

So I heard you're on the pill...

That's all I've got so far.

[HairOfTheDog]

It's funny!

I think I might try to come up with some greetings text for your consideration. Could be fun. I'll submit them to you in this thread if I get a creative burst. Bet some of the other Mockers could come up with some warped and funny sentiments.

Maggot is very sympathetic, for example. His reply to people in duress is "stop your snivelin' you whiny bitch". I think I'd crack up and feel better if I got a sympathy card like that.

[Riotgear]

Maybe we could offer a service where people would pay a fee to have the special thought or conveyance hand writtten on some sort of random item like a wrinkled paper sack or the back cardboard piece of an empty spiral notebook.

[HairOfTheDog]

Maybe we could offer a service where people would pay a fee to have the special thought or conveyance hand writtten on some sort of random item like a wrinkled paper sack or the back cardboard piece of an empty spiral notebook.

Damn, I'm impressed. You're already thinking "green" too. Good for the environment.

How bout limited text greeting for labels to be affixed to pill bottles? Lots of good presents fit inside pill bottles, right? Presents that work for almost all occasions too. It fits with the green/recycle concept and probably hits your EBT-using target market. Just a thought.

[Riotgear]

I hadn't thought 'green'. Good idea. But isn't recycling really just a way for manufacturers to cut production cost by selling the idea of carbon responsibility to the consumer? A sort of complex macro-cosmic version of Tom Sawyer's fence?

I was just trying to think of novel way to get rid of bits of trash.

[HairOfTheDog]

I hadn't thought 'green'. Good idea. But isn't recycling really just a way for manufacturers to cut production cost by selling the idea of carbon responsibility to the consumer? A sort of complex macro-cosmic version of Tom Sawyer's fence?

I was just trying to think of novel way to get rid of bits of trash.

Yes, yes, and I know! That's the beauty. You get to advertise as being "green" (maybe even get some small business funding or tax credit), your overhead would be way low, and you get rid of bits of trash in the process. All while making at least nickels per sale.

I'm feeling it.

[Riotgear]

Then you're going to love my selling pennys for scrap idea.

[HairOfTheDog]

Then you're going to love my selling pennys for scrap idea.

I used to love "Saturday Night Live" back in the day.

When Al Franken was writing for the show, he sometimes did the "Weekend Update" and I thought he was hilarious. There was one where he was selling "copper medallions depicting Araham Lincoln" for like 5 bucks, to be donated to the Al Franken Foundation.

My friend and I came home from a party a little buzzed and caught the show; we thought that was the funniest thing ever. For about 10 years after, we'd send each other birthday cards every year with a copper medallion enclosed.

I'm off to bed. Maybe I'll have some brilliant dream.

[Maggot]

How bout a birthday card that when opened a big boxing glove comes out and punches you in the face.

[Ma Huang Sor]

^that.

[LuciferLynn]

I don't know, I'm pretty focused on people having unprotected sex, making babies and whatnot. I'm going to have to work on branching out.

Speaking of making babies - Did you know the 'pill' interferes with a percentage of women's sense of smell making it harder for them to identify some genetic markers that determine elegibility in potential mates?

Card opens -

So I heard you're on the pill...

That's all I've got so far.

"Happy fornicating!"

[HairOfTheDog]

How bout a birthday card that when opened a big boxing glove comes out and punches you in the face.

I love the concept, but logisitcally, I don't think it would work. Production cost would be too high, shipping too.

I think the guy who came up with the pet rock was a genius!

[QueenBee]

Off the top of my head a line of cards that expresses the sentiment "sorry your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse dumped you. On the outside. Then Maggot's "stop your whining you sniffling bitch" on the inside.

[HairOfTheDog]

I like it, Queen.

How bout this:

Outside:
SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PENDING DIVORCE.

Inside:
THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA; YOU WERE TOO GOOD FOR HIM ANYWAY!
You don't mind if I sleep with him now, right?

Maybe it's a little much.

[QueenBee]

How about end of the world/zombie apocalypse party planning kits? December 21, 2012 is a Friday...so no work the next day in either case.

[Riotgear]

Zombies are going to be the issue? I was really hoping for an asteroid strike or pole shift.

So, I heard the poles are going to shift and I've always wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself...







Go fuck yourself

[QueenBee]

Well, I guess the issue can be whatever we want it to be. A co-worker told me today that HE heard that all the planets are going to align in some way to pull the earth off course.
ANyway, basically it will be the end of the world as we know it.