Dear Maggot MD

[HairOfTheDog]

Fuck that! He's obviously with another patient.

Have you tried an adjustable wrench?

If it's a plastic bottle, you could always stab it and collect the liquid in another container. Has a certain satanic appeal to me.

At least someone gets the sincere seriousness of my dilemna. Thank you, user.

I think stabbing it and bleeding it out may be an option. Before I take such drastic measures, I will consult with my psychiatrist as it's not of the utmost urgency; I can wait a bit longer. I've been putting up with the failure to put out for a few weeks now. If Maggot doesn't respond shortly, I will try your extreme solution.

@ramseycat: thank you for your sage advice. Unfortunately, it has been attempted and failed. If fear that only Maggot holds the answers.

Edit: @user: even a wrench didn't work. I kid you not. It's cracking me up.

[ramseycat]

Stab it ahahahahhhahaa

You're really good. Why I adore you. Those that say I kiss your ass are owned.

Thanks Ma.

Stab it! it just struck me as funny because I could see myself doing that after getting completely pissed off that I couldn't open it.

Here you fucking bottle cap! I'll show you! Stab stab stab
hahahahahaha

[Ma Huang Sor]

Fuck that! He's obviously with another patient.

Have you tried an adjustable wrench?

If it's a plastic bottle, you could always stab it and collect the liquid in another container. Has a certain satanic appeal to me.

At least someone gets the sincere seriousness of my dilemna. Thank you, user.

I think stabbing it and bleeding it out may be an option. Before I take such drastic measures, I will consult with my psychiatrist as it's not of the utmost urgency; I can wait a bit longer. I've been putting up with the failure to put out for a few weeks now. If Maggot doesn't respond shortly, I will try your extreme solution.

@ramseycat: thank you for your sage advice. Unfortunately, it has been attempted and failed. If fear that only Maggot holds the answers.

Edit: @user: even a wrench didn't work. I kid you not. It's cracking me up.

wellthen. Do. Not. Be. Fooled.

[Ma Huang Sor]

Stab it ahahahahhhahaa

You're really good. Why I adore you. Those that say I kiss your ass are owned.

Thanks Ma.

Stab it! it just struck me as funny because I could see myself doing that after getting completely pissed off that I couldn't open it.

Here you fucking bottle cap! I'll show you! Stab stab stab
hahahahahaha

fucking rofl

[HairOfTheDog]

wellthen. Do. Not. Be. Fooled.

Seriously, I think it's a defective bottle - the track around the cap must be off because it is not budging no matter what.

Writing is off as a "defect" and stabbing or tossing it isn't as much fun as getting input from all of you and hopefully the professional. So, for now, it remains unharmed and in the lead.

[username]

I assume you ran the top under hot water and tried opening it.

[ramseycat]

HOTD 0
Bottle 1

[HairOfTheDog]

I assume you ran the top under hot water and tried opening it.

Twice. It's definitely a defect and I just now ended my 3 week adversarial relationship with it. Every time I opened the fridge, it was just standing there, daring and owning me. Your solution worked (I'm all out of bottled water, it had to be done).

Pic in your honor coming shortly.

[HairOfTheDog]

HOTD 0
Bottle 1

No more. Stabbed. If only Maggot had answered the crisis call in a more timely manner, less violent measures may have been effective.

[ramseycat]

ahahahaaha!

HOTD 1
Bottle 0

[JsMom]

Funny thread. Yay! HotD won! I was getting worried.

[ramseycat]

Now HOTD has mastered the bottle. What new challenge will she face next?

Stay tuned...

[Ma Huang Sor]

She fucking stabbed it LOL

[username]

HOTD 0
Bottle 1

No more. Stabbed. If only Maggot had answered the crisis call in a more timely manner, less violent measures may have been effective.

MUWAHAHA!! Love it!!

[Duchess]

Hot D, is that bougainvillea in the photograph?

[Ma Huang Sor]

She wrote something on the bottle, but I can't read it...

[Duchess]

She wrote something on the bottle, but I can't read it...

It looks like "Thanks, User" and there is a heart with an arrow.

[username]

She wrote something on the bottle, but I can't read it...

It looks like "Thanks, User" and there is a heart with an arrow.

Awww, I'm touched!!! Can't see that on my phone.

[HairOfTheDog]

Hot D, is that bougainvillea in the photograph?

Yes, I have a bougainvillea and geraniums in my front flowers box. The bouganvillea is now higher than my roof and twisted up through the wrought iron rail up the stairs to my front porch. The pic is outside my front door. The red geraniums have grown up through it and are really tall too. I'll take a picture and put it in the garden thread soon.

User, my camera is piece of crap at this point so hard to see the label - it says, "thanks User!" and there's a little heart with a knife through it and some drops pouring out. It was hot yesterday and at least I got my water.

[Maggot]

Truly one of my favorite patients HOTD did not get the letter that I have been on my monthly two week sabbatical calming distraught snakes that have been interupted in the middle of shedding their skin.
This problem had been documented years ago in one of Bostons most highly recognized scientific journals titled "I'm fat and thats that"
There are 2 possibilities:
(1) The factory had a dyslexic bottle topper worker
(2) Some jaybird with issues super glued the top.
Either way somewhere someplace someone is laughing at you.


Please take a seat in the waiting room, grab a magazine and we will talk about your anxiety issues and obvious lack of hydration.