Nice looking Plumber's crack . . . . . . .

[Midwest Spy]

I thought HotD was around 45 or so.

1999 would make her age 30.

The gal in the pic looks like she's no older than 30.

Anyway, I'll just stop talking now

[sally]

I thought HotD was around my age, 35-38. If she's 45 then she's doing pretty good for herself.

I think the girl in the picture looks early-mid 30s.

[HairOfTheDog]

I'm the same age as ramsey and FAHQTOO.

You were in the right ballpark MS and no need to stop talking anyway (as if you really would/could!).

However, you could stop trying to pin my body type to those of topless and scantily clad model photos; it's weird and I don't know why you think and ask such shit -- aside from the obvious fact that you're a complete effin' .

[Midwest Spy]

^ cuz you've got a smokin' bod.

And you know way too many obscure tunes/groups from the 70's to be younger than 40, even with an older sister(s).

[crash]

Since this thread has morphed into something that should be titled Perversions of the Spy or something similar, I'd thought I'd drop these gems here for you, MS..

10 Bizarre Sex World Records

1. World's biggest Penis

The officialrank of the largest penis belongs to a man measured and documented by Dr. Robert Dickinson in the earlier part of the twentieth century. This record-holding penis was 13.5 inches (34 cm) in length and 6.25 inches (16 cm) in circumference.

But the living owner of the world's biggest human penis is Jonah Falcon. Falcon's 13-5 inch member has been measured for a TV special, making him one of the few guys who can back up his bodily boasts.

2. World's Largest Vagina – 19 in

The Largest Vagina most likely belonged to Scottish giantess Anna Swan (1846-1888), a remarkable woman who set a number of records relating to her bulk. Born normally sized, she began growing at a prodigious rate in childhood, finally reaching a maximum height of 7' 8" at age 19. Capitalizing on her huge size, she joined a side show and toured the country, where she met and fell in love with Captain Martin Bates, another giant who measured over 7 feet tall. They wed in 1872, making them the tallest married couple in the world, a record that still stands today. The couple settled down into married life, built a mansion filled with enormous furniture, including an 11' by 7' bed where they consummated their union. On June 18, 1879, she gave birth to the largest baby in history, weighing 26 lbs. and 34 inches in length—so large, in fact, that it became tightly wedged in her capacious tract, only extricated by the use of forceps and belts. The child did not survive the rigors of birth, but a cast was made, still on display at the Cleveland Museum of Health. Generally the largest part of an infant is the head. We know that the tyke's cranium measured about 19 inches (48cm) in circumference, hence we compute the minimum dilation of Swan's passage as 6 inches, or just over 15 cm. That's pretty wide—the normal dilation for childbirth is 10 cm.

3. World's Most Prolific Mother (69 babies)

Feodor Vassilyev (1707-1782), was a peasant from Shuya, Russia. Though not noteworthy himself, his first wife, Valentina Vassilyeva, set the record for most children birthed by a single woman. She gave birth to total of 69 children; however, few other details are known of her life, such as her date of birth or death. She gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets and 4 sets of quadruplets between 1725 and 1765, in a total of 27 births. 67 of the 69 children born survived infancy. The modern world record for giving birth is held by Leontina Albina from San Antonio, Chile. Now in her mid-sixties, she claims to be the mother of 64 children. Of these, 55 are documented. The mother with the greatest number of kids that are not tiwns is Livia Ionce. This Romanian woman, 44, gave birth to her 18^th child in Canada in 2008.


4. World's Biggest Distance for a Jet of Semen – 18 ft

Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in (6 m) with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also holds the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.


5. World's Oldest Prostitute – 82-year-old

Prostitution is commonly known as the world's oldest profession. Meanwhile police in Tai Pei estimate an 82 -year-old nicknamed "Grandma" to be the oldest living, working prostitute. Chiu went into the business about 40 years ago, after a man she had lived with for two decades died. She stays in the business charging ten or twenty times less than others prostitutes.


6. World's Biggest Orgy – 250 couples

Japan has successfully set a new world record – having 250 men and 250 women consent to have sex in the same place at the same time, completing the world's biggest orgy! The Orgy was held in a warehouse with a professional camera crew taking pictures and recording the entire event. Each sex act and position was choreographed so that couples were simultaneous in their actions. Despite the "orgy" label, the 250 couples (all tested STD-free) featured in the video have sex only with each other and not with any other couple. The entire event is available for purchase on DVD.

7. World's Biggest Gang Bang – 919 guys in the same day

Lisa Sparxxx is a noted American pornographic actress. She had sex with 919 guys in a single day, setting a world record. Specifically, it occurred during Eroticon 2004, a Polish convention that celebrates exactly what its title suggests, as part of the Third Annual World Gangbang Championship. This wasn't just some publicity stunt either; the coveted “World Gang Bang Record” had changed “hands” back in 2002 and 2003, when the number reached was 646 and 759, respectively.

8. World's Longest Man Masturbation – 10 hours

A man by the name of Masanobu Sato attended the 2009 World Masturbate-a-thon held by the Center for Sex & Culture in San Francisco and set the world record for longest session by jerking it for 9 hours and 58 minutes. He came all the way from Japan just for the event, armed with a wide variety of sexual aids, and the record he was beating was his own. Last year he set the record with 9 hours and 33 minutes.

9. World's Strongest Vagina - lifts 31 lbs with her vagina

Meet Tatiata Kozhevnikova, the 42-year-old Russian woman with the world's strongest vagina. No, seriously, she broke records to attain that title. Incredibly enough, she lifted 14 kilograms worth of weights-- almost 31 pounds-- to achieve such notoriety. She has been exercising her intimate muscles for fifteen years, and has already made her entrance into the Guinness Book of Records as the possessor of the world's strongest vagina. “After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls,” she said.

10. World's Oldest Father – 90-year-old

The world's oldest father has done it again, fathering a child for at least the 21^st time, at the age of 90. Indian farmer Nanu Ram Jogi, who is married to his fourth wife, boasts he does not want to stop, and plans to continue producing children until he is 100. Mr Jogi admits he is not certain how many children his series of four wives have borne him - but counts at least 12 sons and nine daughters and 20 grandchildren.

Link to page with pictures and official sources

[HairOfTheDog]

And you know way too many obscure tunes/groups from the 70's to be younger than 40, even with an older sister(s).

I know a bunch of tunes from much further back than my life-span too, lecher!

[HairOfTheDog]

9. World's Strongest Vagina - lifts 31 lbs with her vagina

Meet Tatiata Kozhevnikova, the 42-year-old Russian woman with the world's strongest vagina. No, seriously, she broke records to attain that title. Incredibly enough, she lifted 14 kilograms worth of weights-- almost 31 pounds-- to achieve such notoriety. She has been exercising her intimate muscles for fifteen years, and has already made her entrance into the Guinness Book of Records as the possessor of the world's strongest vagina. “After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls,” she said.


Link to page with pictures and official sources

Okay, that one made me look; had to click the link to check out this mighty woman.



Pretty damned impressive -- the feat itself, not competing in the contest.

[FAHQTOO]

I'm the same age as ramsey and FAHQTOO.

You were in the right ballpark MS and no need to stop talking anyway (as if you really would/could!).

However, you could stop trying to pin my body type to those of topless and scantily clad model photos; it's weird and I don't know why you think and ask such shit -- aside from the obvious fact that you're a complete effin' .

I'll have to correct you on that one. Ramsey is 49...I'm still 48. Not for much longer, but I'm getting close enough to the big 50 that I can't afford to give up any of my '48' days I have left.

[Donovan]

10 Bizarre Sex World Records

1. World's biggest Penis

Record held by every teenage male poster on the internet, ever.

[Donovan]

I'm the same age as ramsey and FAHQTOO.

You were in the right ballpark MS and no need to stop talking anyway (as if you really would/could!).

However, you could stop trying to pin my body type to those of topless and scantily clad model photos; it's weird and I don't know why you think and ask such shit -- aside from the obvious fact that you're a complete effin' .

I'll have to correct you on that one. Ramsey is 49...I'm still 48. Not for much longer, but I'm getting close enough to the big 50 that I can't afford to give up any of my '48' days I have left.

I do like me some cougars. I was grooving on 30-somethings and 40-somethings when my teenage and college age buddies were still trying to chase their high maintenance, annoying daughters around. My Best Friend's Hot Mom should be the title of my early years biography. Probably means I'm warped in some kind of Freudian way, but I always thought it was the quality of the lay. Damn old broads know some TRICKS, now.

[HairOfTheDog]

My apologies, FAHQTOO -- I don't know why, but after the age of about 25, I've always thought of people plus or minus 5 years as basically my same age group.

CLARIFICATION: Ramsey will be getting her AARP card and introductory box of Depends first! -- though she claims that she's told she looks much younger (I believe that, actually, based on her pic).

Never been attracted to or romantically interested in men much younger than I -- not a Cougar -- though my bartender friends mock me for ordering Chardonnay (they call it "Cougar Juice" - bastards).

[ramseycat]

At least with the Depends I don't have to worry about finding a ladies room.

[FAHQTOO]

My apologies, FAHQTOO -- I don't know why, but after the age of about 25, I've always thought of people plus or minus 5 years as basically my same age group.

CLARIFICATION: Ramsey will be getting her AARP card and introductory box of Depends first! -- though she claims that she's told she looks much younger (I believe that, actually, based on her pic).

Never been attracted to or romantically interested in men much younger than I -- not a Cougar -- though my bartender friends mock me for ordering Chardonnay (they call it "Cougar Juice" - bastards).

I've never been bothered by my age in the past, but this almost 50 BS is starting to bother me. I remember back in the day when I thought 50 might as well be 100...

[HairOfTheDog]

At least with the Depends I don't have to worry about finding a ladies room.

They're supposed to be an alternative to traditional toileting, not a short-cut for lazy old hags who just don't wanna get on up outta the rocking chair during commercial breaks!

[ramseycat]

At least with the Depends I don't have to worry about finding a ladies room.

They're supposed to be an alternative to traditional toileting, not a short-cut for lazy old hags who just don't wanna get on up outta the rocking chair during commercial breaks!

Well shit. That ruins that.

[HairOfTheDog]

At least with the Depends I don't have to worry about finding a ladies room.

They're supposed to be an alternative to traditional toileting, not a short-cut for lazy old hags who just don't wanna get on up outta the rocking chair during commercial breaks!

Well shit. That ruins that.

Not necessarily ruined, but definitely messy.

You could opt for the "extra protection, odor absorbent" type if you really want or need to go there.

MS's IBS will probably be in advanced mode by the time you're that lazy or immobile -- he'd probably be willing to give you tips if you send him a boob shot.

[Donovan]

Well now that youre in my peer group I can't call you Cougars any more, but when I was hunting Cougar at 18-19...

[Midwest Spy]

At least with the Depends I don't have to worry about finding a ladies room.

They're supposed to be an alternative to traditional toileting, not a short-cut for lazy old hags who just don't wanna get on up outta the rocking chair during commercial breaks!

Well shit. That ruins that.

MS's IBS will probably be in advanced mode by the time you're that lazy or immobile -- he'd probably be willing to give you tips if you send him a boob shot.

Rams, no saggy boob shots though.

And please trim up any nipple hair.

I have standards.








Not really.

[ramseycat]

Lol MS. Sorry. No boob shots. Hairy or otherwise.

[Duchess]

I have standards.








Not really.