What if Verbal Abuse left physical scars??

[QueenBee]

What if verbal abuse left the same scars as physical abuse? Would it be taken more seriously? That’s what photographer Richard Johnson hopes to accomplish with his new photo project, “Weapon of Choice.”

The series uses a makeup artist to put bruises and scars on photo subjects. Embedded in these violent marks are some hateful words typically associated with abuse, such as “Stupid,” “Dumb," "Trash" and others that are much, much worse.

“I think the overall goal [of Weapon of Choice], in my view, would be to shine a light on the fact that, when we’re focusing on bullying as a society, we focus on actual physical abuse,” Johnson said in a phone interview with The Huffington Post. “It gets a lot of attention when a father abuses his son, daughter or wife, but I think the issue goes back deeper. Before they actually choose to put their hands on someone, there’s more verbal abuse leading up to it.”

Johnson says that verbal abuse among peers is a problem in our society, but that, based on his own personal experience, verbal abuse from authority figures or parents is an underrepresented problem on which he wanted to focus.

He also feels there are three people involved in every abuse situation: The abuser, the abused and a witness.

“It’s bigger than me,” he said. “It’s not about photography or the photographer. It’s about a bigger issue that needs to be on people’s minds.”

Click here for the pictures thatwent with the article

[Maggot]

It sucks but kids call each other all kinds of stuff. Confidence is the cure.

[ramseycat]

It sucks that parents call their kids all kinds of shit.

[Duchess]

Parents should never belittle their children. Jesus.

[QueenBee]

All of the pictures are very disturbing.

[sally]

It's one thing to belittle your kid and it's another to say stop acting like a goddamn idiot when they're acting like a goddamn idiot. It's just more PC bulllshit. No I don't kick my kids and tell them they're worthless pieces of shit, but when they're acting like assholes they're gonna know about it.

[SIXFOOTERsez]

You might not treat your kids like a piece of shit but a lot of "parents" do.
Nothing is done right, nothing that matters to the kid counts, everything is whining and its always the kids fault no matter if the Adult created the situation.
Kids themselves can be little bastards, relentlessly picking on kids they consider the weak ones which encourages the other cowards to pile on. Its fucked up and there should be consequences
Its not PC bullshit, that stuff is real.

[Maggot]

I took this the wrong way thinking this was about kids vs. kids. It never dawned on me that some parents call their kids idiots and useless. There are plenty of other words to use other than belittling phrases that will make them think rather than hate.

[cannongal]

Regarding the article: The pics do nothing for me. 99% of them look staged and fake. In my opinion it does nothing to raise awareness of abuse, but does everything to raise awareness of bad make up artists.

Regarding verbal abuse in general: It sucks, but I doubt it's ever going to stop, no matter how much awareness we raise, nor do I have any idea how one would stop it. I can tell you that I like my son's answer to verbal abuse at school, although I got into trouble for it. Some kid was picking on him about something stupid, and turned around and said "is that the best you can come up with? My mother said worse to me at breakfast." Unfortunately for me, a teacher overheard him and called DYS on me.

People either develop a thick skin and learn to let things roll off, or they bottle it up and kill themselves or others.

Every single time we have a public massacre (be it in school, or not) the focus is always put on guns. It's a shame that the media focuses on a weapon, rather than the underlying cause.

We have become a very selfish society. We only care about ourselves. Would Columbine have happened if someone had taken the time to open their eyes and see what was happening to Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold in their Freshman, sophomore, and Junior years?

What about Sandy Hook? No one saw it coming, because no one cared that Lanza had himself locked up in a basement all the time. When Lanza'a mom mentioned to a friend that her son would only communicate through e-mail, no one batted an eye and said "Hey, that's not right, you should talk to your boy face to face every once in a while"

I wish there was an easy answer, but in truth, there are always going to be people in the world that think they are better than every one else, and put you down because you're not good enough for them.

Coincidentally, it's ironic that the first definition of Mock in the dictionary is — 1. to behave with scorn or contempt (towards); show ridicule (for)

[sally]

I took this the wrong way thinking this was about kids vs. kids. It never dawned on me that some parents call their kids idiots and useless. There are plenty of other words to use other than belittling phrases that will make them think rather than hate.

My son use to take all of my clean clothes out of the dryer looking for stuff and then just toss them on the ground. Totally inconsiderate behavior so I asked him one day "are you fucking stupid". Well guess what, he doesn't suffer from any self esteem issues and if he told me he did I tell him to get out of my face with that bullshit.

Those staged pictures aren't going to do anything to stop real abuse. All it's saying is that parents can't even discipline their kids now without being PC. Teachers need to start stepping in more often when they see kids being constantly tormented and suspend the bullies immediately, not worry about me calling my kid an idiot when he's acting like one. We should also be more focused on parents beating and killing their children after DCF has been to their house several times, that's the case more often and not.

[HairOfTheDog]

Every single time we have a public massacre (be it in school, or not) the focus is always put on guns. It's a shame that the media focuses on a weapon, rather than the underlying cause.

I see a lot of media focus on all of it, not just the weapons, Cannongal...the shooters'/ stabbers'/bombers' backgrounds, mental states, the weapons themselves, their affiliations, the police response, impacts on the victims and their families.

I agree with you that there will always be people who lash out at society because they feel bullied or rejected or otherwise psychologically scarred or victimized. I too hope that those such occurrences can be minimized by more awareness of the patterns of behavior and guidelines for reporting them, more effective professional treatment for them, less access to firearms, etc.. I don't think there's one solution that will help curb the problem, like take all the guns away, or lock up everybody who seems to have a chip on their shoulders, or station armed security guards everywhere. It's gonna have to be a combination of efforts and addressing mental/psychological factors is part of the mix.

Some of the mass murderers felt bullied or verbally abused, but some of them were instead loved and treated and protected -- they were just plain angry and mentally ill (or looking for infamy) and wanted to kill people to satisfy an urge; to kill even people they didn't know and even though their violent urges weren't a result of any kind of abuse.

In regards to the OP, it's challenging interacting with children and adults who don't value themselves or who resent other people because they've truly been physically or verbally abused -- it becomes part of who they are sometimes and it's not easy for them to change, even if they recognize it. Very sad.

IMO, a lot of adults today are just too damned sensitive when it comes to dealing with criticism (real or mock), viewing honest unfiltered opinions as bullying or abuse, and not being able to take what they've dished out. Luckily, most adults that I know personally are confident and understand that we're responsible for cultivating our own self esteems and are still able to laugh at our ourselves, even if our childhoods weren't ideal.

[BlueTiki]

There are plenty of other words to use other than belittling phrases that will make them think rather than hate.

I agree. "Genius" is one of those words.

I like the phrase: "Way to go . . . genius!" . . . when they screw up.

Those staged pictures aren't going to do anything to stop real abuse.

I dunno . . .

In my mind's eye, I'm seeing a picture of Crash with "cuntface" written across his face.

It hurts and makes me want to become a kinder person.

[Maggot]

I took this the wrong way thinking this was about kids vs. kids. It never dawned on me that some parents call their kids idiots and useless. There are plenty of other words to use other than belittling phrases that will make them think rather than hate.

My son use to take all of my clean clothes out of the dryer looking for stuff and then just toss them on the ground. Totally inconsiderate behavior so I asked him one day "are you fucking stupid". Well guess what, he doesn't suffer from any self esteem issues and if he told me he did I tell him to get out of my face with that bullshit.

Those staged pictures aren't going to do anything to stop real abuse. All it's saying is that parents can't even discipline their kids now without being PC. Teachers need to start stepping in more often when they see kids being constantly tormented and suspend the bullies immediately, not worry about me calling my kid an idiot when he's acting like one. We should also be more focused on parents beating and killing their children after DCF has been to their house several times, that's the case more often and not.

I stopped my son from being a little shit a few months ago. He was hitting his sister kicking his mother and once threw a lego toy he made at me. All because he did not get his way. I called a friend of mine up and had him come over in uniform. He knocked on the door and asked for my son. I tell ya he was trembling when he saw the cop at my door. After getting told that hitting and throwing things at people would get him in big trouble, he never did it again. This was a few months ago. I really wanted to spank his ass but thought this was a better way. He has been good since, its been 3 months now and he is a polite little shit, going out of his way to help people now. I think he likes it.
He still gets into trouble every once in a while but its not from hitting or throwing things anymore.

[HairOfTheDog]

There are plenty of other words to use other than belittling phrases that will make them think rather than hate.

I agree. "Genius" is one of those words.

I like the phrase: "Way to go . . . genius!" . . . when they screw up.

"Genius" is a good one.

"Einstein" and "Sherlock" as well.

[cannongal]

We should also be more focused on parents beating and killing their children after DCF has been to their house several times, that's the case more often and not.

Totally agree with this. We were an emergency foster care home a few years back. I stopped doing it, because I couldn't take the idiosyncrasy of returning these kids to their parents. The last year I was in the program, I had the same boy placed with me 3 times in nine months. The social worker had to peel him off my leg the third time they came to take him back to his parents, he cried and screamed and begged to stay. Couldn't believe the fucking judge returned the poor kid to his parents after second time, let alone the third.

[Maggot]

There ya go.

[BlueTiki]

He still gets into trouble every once in a while but its not from hitting or throwing things anymore.

Yeah . . .

Now it's just for writing online manifestos and posting YouTube vids.

The "cop at the door" worked because your kid is white.

It would work for Asians, too.

Have I mentioned I miss Cracker?

[Maggot]

You have a point there.

[sally]

My kids dialed 911 once when they were little, they were scared shitless when they actually showed up.

[Duchess]

Coincidentally, it's ironic that the first definition of Mock in the dictionary is — 1. to behave with scorn or contempt (towards); show ridicule (for)

Yes.