the 2014 trivial drivel thread

[ramseycat]

I've been up since 3:30. It's going to he a long day. Can I use bring tired as an excuse to be an ass like Aussie?

NO! because you aren't actually working.I might be an ass but you are truly a dumbass.

And you gave no idea what I do while I'm not working. I volunteer at a group home for teens among other things. What do YOU do to give back to your community? Besides tattling on people for being different.

[username]

Damn. I just read a bride to be and her 7 bridesmaids (from California) disappeared during the hurricane in Mexico recently. This is why California is known for it's dumb blondes.

[Duchess]

They are okay. They were found back in California.

What does one do in Wisconsin?

[Midwest Spy]

I didn't wake up thinking I was going to Wisconsin and yet, here I am.

What are you doing in Sconny?

I'm here with my daughter. My husband brought her out Sunday but he had to leave. She's going to get more help here for her anxiety/social fears even if it fucking kills me. She has a choice. Go to a great facility here next Tuesday which only takes voluntary admissions or leave with me and I'll take her to room #2 in So Cal that takes teens involuntarily. Choice. A great place with tons of freedom or a much more rigorous program (that isn't as well staffed/recommended). Anyway, I'm here for a week I guess. Nothing to do but rest, take her out as much as possible and explore.

Hope it all goes well User.

I suppose you're just hanging at a hotel. Lake Michigan is nice if you can get there. Waukesha has a nice small town feel to it with plenty of bars.

Wish I could recommend something for you, but I usually am there at the height of summer with more things going on.

[aussiefriend]

What do YOU do to give back to your community? Besides tattling on people for being different.

Most of the money I make from nursing provides for my family. I have another life, and these are specifically dedicated to various causes, at the moment it is the ebola virus. I don't like to talk about it, because I like to keep it quite separate. I do as much as I can with what resources I or the company have.

[Carsman]

I really thought getting old would take longer!

[sally]

What does one do in Wisconsin?[/i][/size]

I don't know, but this is my favorite song to work out too. Especially jogging, I just play it over and over.

[username]

I didn't wake up thinking I was going to Wisconsin and yet, here I am.

What are you doing in Sconny?

I'm here with my daughter. My husband brought her out Sunday but he had to leave. She's going to get more help here for her anxiety/social fears even if it fucking kills me. She has a choice. Go to a great facility here next Tuesday which only takes voluntary admissions or leave with me and I'll take her to room #2 in So Cal that takes teens involuntarily. Choice. A great place with tons of freedom or a much more rigorous program (that isn't as well staffed/recommended). Anyway, I'm here for a week I guess. Nothing to do but rest, take her out as much as possible and explore.

Hope it all goes well User.

I suppose you're just hanging at a hotel. Lake Michigan is nice if you can get there. Waukesha has a nice small town feel to it with plenty of bars.

Wish I could recommend something for you, but I usually am there at the height of summer with more things going on.

It's pretty but yeah, I'm bored. I'm in Oconomowoc and I can't say it like the natives for the life of me. I've found the premium outlets though! There's some ten chimney thing near here and lots of parks/trails. I have enough time to drive back to Milwaukee if I want.

I just optimistically booked a flight home, by myself, for next Wednesday. Fully refundable/changeable of course. If she doesn't check in...I don't think I'll even be able to look at her when I take her to some other place. Equal amounts pain and anger... Ugh.

[ramseycat]

How long will she stay there?

[username]

How long will she stay there?

Another perk to this place is they don't have hard rules about length of treatment. Honestly I think she'll be here around 70 days. But what I keep telling her is is to get her butt in there, get a full psychiatric work-up and see what meds they prescribe (she's not taking anything now although I got her some Xanax to help her get on the plane and in the door for treatment). After that, she can take the therapy and everything else a day at a time and we'll evaluate the length of stay, together , as she goes. They're very easy going. My husband or I could come visit her in as little as two weeks once she's in. She's an idiot if she doesn't take this opportunity.
$90k if she stays around 90 days and insurance is covering 100% (thank God).

[HairOfTheDog]

I met my guy on-line through zoosk.

I hadn't heard of Zoosk.

On-line screening seems smart if you're not looking to just play the field. I think it's great.

Meeting someone in your own age-group with similar interests at a bar or the grocery store or by happenstance is a long-shot and dating someone from work is risky.

One of my nieces is dating someone she met on-line (I don't know which site). It's only been a couple of weeks, but she's having a really good time and taking it slow too.

[HairOfTheDog]

$90k if she stays around 90 days and insurance is covering 100% (thank God).

Man, that's expensive.

I hope she gives it a real shot and it turns out to be the right place for her.

(And, really glad you got the insurance worked out.)

[ramseycat]

I hope it works out too User. I know this must be incredibly hard on you.

[username]

Thank you!!! I don't know if I've mentioned this before but she was in treatment last year. I found the first place she attended and we hired an ed consultant for $3k to find the second. The second looked good on their website and by phone but they were horrible. I'm still so fucking furious (and they know it) at the people who recommended it. Anyway, my daughter wrote this yesterday at the request of some woman who runs a website to "save our kids" or something. I'm proud of her for taking action and it certainly helps explain her caution. Long read. I don't care about names being included... That fucking place cost us $26k out of pocket. Grrrrrr.

She wrote:

I arrived at Discovery Ranch for Girls (DRG) on December 18, 2013. My dad was the one who brought me and was with me upon initial arrival. I had previously attended another residential treatment center by the name of Mountain Valley which I had enjoyed and felt I had made a tremendous amount of progress at. Because of my positive experience at Mountain Valley, I was excited to be attending another place I assumed could help me further overcome my struggles. I was allowed a short couple of minutes to say goodbye to my father before he left. I was sad to see him leave but staff promised me I would be able to call him and my mom whenever I wanted. I later realized that was a lie. They hardly ever let me call them for fear that I would come across as anything other than perfectly happy. In the unusual event that I was permitted to phone my parents, the call had to be put on speaker phone so staff could listen to every word exchanged. We were also only authorized to talk for a very limited period of time and if at any point in the conversation I started to speak negatively about DRG, they would cut the call even shorter. Anyways, after my dad was gone, the atmosphere changed drastically. I was rushed away to a small room where staff searched through all of my luggage and informed me of what I could keep and what was to be thrown away. I was also strip searched and was told to urinate in a cup so they could test for drugs in my system. I was uninformed that this would be happening beforehand and was shocked that they would feel the need to do all of this. I had never had any problems with drugs or addiction and I knew both of my parents and former therapists had made it crystal clear to the staff at DRG that I was not there for those reasons. Despite this, I continued to be drug tested and strip searched regularly. Matters only worsened after that. Despite the fact that I had showed up to DRG voluntarily, I was treated as though I was a prisoner. Us residents were humiliated and demeaned on a constant basis. The staff acted as though we were less than human. For example, privacy was nonexistent. We had to have staff no more than an arms length away from us at all times. This meant that when we used the shower, went to the restroom or changed clothes there was always either a staff in the bathroom with us or standing right outside of it with the door open. Another case in point of their less than humane treatment of us came in the form of rarely enabling us to sit in chairs or on couches. We had to sit on the dirty floors instead. As well as this, we were taunted and mocked and often referred to as spoiled and entitled brats who did not even deserve to be treated as kindly as we were supposedly being treated. We were continually informed of this and over time a lot of us began to believe it. However, in actuality, it did not matter how well we behaved. No matter what we did, we were never good enough for staff. We were rarely allowed to talk or make any noise whatsoever. Staff told us we had to stay on what was called "Mute". While on Mute, we would get in trouble if we so much as coughed, sneezed or made eye contact with anyone. If we disobeyed with anything the staff told us to do, we were punished however they saw fit. If we did anything that they saw as being really offensive, they would make us put on these bright red uniforms which seemed to be seen by other staff as a free pass to treat us even worse than they already did. I even saw one staff knot a piece of rope around a girl's wrist like you would a leash to a dog's neck and pull her around by it. The staff holding the rope and the other staff watching were laughing like they thought it was hilarious. The girl did not seem amused. Staff at DRG also strongly believed in group punishment. If one of us forgot to take the trash out, we all had to go out in the middle of the night and scrape ice off of the sidewalk. Heaven forbid one of us clogged a toilet, staff would make us all line up next to the clogged toilet and have us all unclog it. They would do this by making the first person in line unclog the toilet with a plunger. When that first person succeeded, the staff would purposefully stuff toilet paper down the toilet, effectively clogging it again, then make the next person in line come forward and unclog it. Once that person unclogged it, the staff would intentionally clog the toilet yet again and the next person in line would come unclog it. This would go on for however long the staff wanted it to. Staff then told us that we would have to relieve ourselves in plastic buckets while they watched if we did not stop clogging the toilets. Other punishments included making us all sit or stand unmoving, sometimes for minutes, sometimes for hours, just thinking about what we did wrong, making us clean our cabins until they were spotless, then trashing them so we would have to clean them again. In addition, we were always working. Discovery Ranch for Girls was home to a lot of farm animals, hence the "Ranch" in Discovery Ranch. We worked for hours with those animals no matter what time of day it was. It would be below freezing and pitch black out, yet you would still find us outside scrubbing out barrels of horse and cow manure with our bare hands. Usually, we were forced to go out underdressed while the staff got to wear jackets and gloves. We also had to wear mucking boots that were either way too small or way too big on our feet. Myself and other girls had feet that were covered in bruises and blisters. Because of the cold weather and the germs we were exposed to, almost all of us were in poor health throughout our entire stay there. Those of us who were sick were still forced to work with the animals and do chores no matter how severe our symptoms. The worst of us would be throwing up all over the place, defecating in our pants, (gross, I know) or literally passing out but not once did we receive medical attention. When I did eventually go home, I immediately saw a doctor who informed me that I had a horrible case of pneumonia along with an equally as horrible case of the stomach flu. Thanks to DRG, I had to use an inhaler for months after I left just so I could breathe somewhat normally. I also could not hold any food down for a very long time afterwards and lost a significant amount of weight. I believe the tendency of us residents to fall ill also had to do with what we were fed and how little we were being fed. I remember days where all breakfast consisted of was a miniature Smucker's jelly packet. Staff would permit us to have at most two per person and would tell us to scoop it out with our fingers and lick it off. Of course, whenever we were having important visitors or inspectors, staff always prepared large meals and made sure to treat us kindly in front of them in order to make it seem like that was how life at DRG was like. Nobody knew how awful DRG actually was. When staff take parents and other potential future residents on tours of DRG they always point out how beautiful the area is and how there is even a gorgeous lake on campus. I find it funny that they always leave out the part about how many residents have attempted suicide by jumping in that lake after they have had enough of the staff's torment. Thankfully, on February 23, 2014, my parents pulled me from DRG. I was able to subtly hint to them in some of our rare phone calls about how unhappy I was and how bad of a place this was. They were able to understand the message I was trying to convey to them and could peel away the nice and happy facade that DRG had convinced them was true. Because of this, my relationship with my parents has not been damaged. I would like it to be known that there are currently two people that I hold primarily responsible for the abuse and neglect that occurred and still occurs at DRG. These people are Andrea Burgess, the executive director and Matt Crosby, the residential director. They were both very aware of everything that went on. They also had the power to put an end to it, yet they chose not to. I would also like to mention that I never had any issues with the teachers at DRG. I do not think they really knew what went on outside the classrooms. They were the only staff that did not treat us badly. Unfortunately, because of the staff that did treat us poorly, I lost a lot of the good progress I had made at Mountain Valley. I already had disorders such as depression, anxiety and PTSD amongst other conditions and, yes, they were added to because of my experiences at DRG. The PTSD I already suffered from was worsened more than anything. I will soon be checking in to another treatment facility to hopefully reverse some of the damage the staff at DRG did to me and get my life back on track. Finally, I would like to say that the instances of abuse and neglect that I have just listed does not even begin to cover everything that DRG has done. It would take days to type everything they did. I am also sure more occurrences will come to mind later on that I have forgotten to mention. Furthermore, I am only one person. I know there are tons of former residents and staff of DRG out there who will hopefully tell their story too someday.

Please keep me anonymous. Thank you.

[username]

P.S. Kind of explains my preoccupation/absences lately.

[Duchess]

My God. I'm stunned. That's the kind of thing we read about or hear about on the news. To know it happened to R is so saddening. Poor User. Poor R. Poor family. Do you have any recourse, User? Is that something you would want to show to a reporter?

[sally]

My dad put me in a place like that when I was a kid because he found some pot in my room. The staff were fucked in the head, they were the ones that belonged in a mental institution. The crazy psychiatrist would pick his nose in front of us and one time he fell back in his chair while I was in his office. Then he insisted I was depressed and needed Prozac. His name was Dr. Wylie and we called him Dr. Crazy. That place is still in operation, I don't even know how.

Her anxiety must be pretty severe, nothing has worked to control it?

[FAHQTOO]

Holy Crap!!

I'm thinking Lawsuit to get your money back and A LOT of money for your daughters trauma.

Other girls need to come forward.

I'm sorry you and your family are going through this, user...and most of all your daughter.

[ramseycat]

Oh. My. God. First off, your daughter is a great writer. She comes across as very mature for her age. Second, how did you manage to not go ape shit on these people? I would have flipped the fuck out and beat some people up. Seriously, is that place being investigated? My heart breaks for you guys.

[username]

My God. I'm stunned. That's the kind of thing we read about or hear about on the news. To know it happened to R is so saddening. Poor User. Poor R. Poor family. Do you have any recourse, User? Is that something you would want to show to a reporter?

I think I'm going to run it by my attorney; see if she thinks we have a case to get our $26k back at least. Or I could just threaten them with as much nasty publicity as I can generate. Hmmm.