Fucked up Funeral

[ihatefucktards]

For momster to "get it" you might have to re write the story in lolspeak.

Your story made me giggle b/c I could totally picture all of that in my head.

[ramseycat]

You must be related to Moose because that is exactly how I picture his troop. His wife is the one with the printed mumo, hair in curlers, cigg hangin out of her mouth, with a Bud Light in her hand. Oh and a 17 year old first cousin/boyfriend.

[SyberBitch]

Wow... we're probably cuzzins. I knew I could find some family around here if I just waited long enough.

[Sinister]

Moose is gonna have a fucking field day with this thread.

[Lady Cop]

SyberBitch did a very good descriptive writing post.

as an aside...when my wonderful Dad died, the goddamn hearse got a flat tire on the way to the cemetery. they also did not have a spare. how stupid does it get for people in an industry like that?? so my poor Mom and i had to wait by the side of the road in a snowstorm at the worst moment of our lives, for 3miserable hours.

[The Afterbirth]

SyberBitch did a very good descriptive writing post.

as an aside...when my wonderful Dad died, the goddamn hearse got a flat tire on the way to the cemetery. they also did not have a spare. how stupid does it get for people in an industry like that?? so my poor Mom and i had to wait by the side of the road in a snowstorm at the worst moment of our lives, for 3miserable hours.

In all fairness, most funeral homes are within 5 miles of the cemetary so they don't have to worry about hearse maintenance that much.

[Lady Cop]

fairness my ass...i don't care if they are 2 miles or 20 miles from the cemetery, their business depends in great part on their vehicles. so if my Dad's hearse was to break down 2 miles from the cemetery that's OK?

i take better care of my own car than that. expensive vehicle like that and NO GODAMN SPARE?? sheer negligence.

and what's worse is he was being buried at Arlington and there was a military honor guard waiting, as well as a fly-by.

[Sinister]

In all fairness, most funeral homes are within 5 miles of the cemetary so they don't have to worry about hearse maintenance that much.

Got to disagree there, TA. In fact most Biker funerals I have been to - and I have been to a lot - are very long runs from the service to the cemetary. We do that on purpose to show the people in the area that when one of ours dies, we all turn out in force to take him to his final resting place. And my last funeral, for my Mom's mother was about 18 miles from church to cemetary.

[SyberBitch]

SyberBitch did a very good descriptive writing post.

as an aside...when my wonderful Dad died, the goddamn hearse got a flat tire on the way to the cemetery. they also did not have a spare. how stupid does it get for people in an industry like that?? so my poor Mom and i had to wait by the side of the road in a snowstorm at the worst moment of our lives, for 3miserable hours.

Not even a spare tire??

See, this is the kind of thing that pisses me off about funeral homes. They charge a assload of money for their services, worse than a hospital. As much as they ream the bereaved, you would THINK they would make every effort to provide a high-class, tasteful experience.

My uncle had to pay $9k out of pocket for the service (the plot was already paid for). The cheapest coffin was $1k and I'm not sure how much the liner was, but see, that leaves like $7-8k JUST FOR THE SERVICE. What do they provide??? A crappy room, a podium, a dippy woman to play the organ, and a hearse to roll the corpse across the street to the graveyard. I don't make bad money, but HOLY SHIT!! $7-8k for a couple of hours of doing nothing? THAT'S good money...

[SyberBitch]

In all fairness, most funeral homes are within 5 miles of the cemetary so they don't have to worry about hearse maintenance that much.

Got to disagree there, TA. In fact most Biker funerals I have been to - and I have been to a lot - are very long runs from the service to the cemetary. We do that on purpose to show the people in the area that when one of ours dies, we all turn out in force to take him to his final resting place. And my last funeral, for my Mom's mother was about 18 miles from church to cemetary.

Your grandmother was a biker too?? Wow, you chicks are hard-core.

[Sinister]

In all fairness, most funeral homes are within 5 miles of the cemetary so they don't have to worry about hearse maintenance that much.

Got to disagree there, TA. In fact most Biker funerals I have been to - and I have been to a lot - are very long runs from the service to the cemetary. We do that on purpose to show the people in the area that when one of ours dies, we all turn out in force to take him to his final resting place. And my last funeral, for my Mom's mother was about 18 miles from church to cemetary.

Your grandmother was a biker too?? Wow, you chicks are hard-core.

We are hardcore; however......

A) Just because she was my Mom's mother thatdid not make her my grandmother. I hadn't referred to her in that way in over 25 years.

B) She was no Biker and I wouldn't have insulted any of my friends by inviting them to that POS's funeral.

I was just using that as an example of a lengthy ride to the cemetary.

[SyberBitch]

We are hardcore; however......

...

I was just using that as an example of a lengthy ride to the cemetary.

Ah, well I did consider that may have been the case, but also thought it would have been pretty cool if granny had been a biker too. Is your mom a biker? Or are you just the family bad girl?

[Sinister]

Ah, well I did consider that may have been the case, but also thought it would have been pretty cool if granny had been a biker too. Is your mom a biker? Or are you just the family bad girl?

Now, my Granny could have been a Biker!! She was one ruthless bitch and the world is a lesser place without her. The bitch that just died was not my Granny.

None of my blood family are Bikers. I chose the Life on my own; in all reality from being around them so much as a bartender.

[SyberBitch]

Ah, well I did consider that may have been the case, but also thought it would have been pretty cool if granny had been a biker too. Is your mom a biker? Or are you just the family bad girl?

Now, my Granny could have been a Biker!! She was one ruthless bitch and the world is a lesser place without her. The bitch that just died was not my Granny.

None of my blood family are Bikers. I chose the Life on my own; in all reality from being around them so much as a bartender.

I can see how that could happen. My sister spent several years bartending and she has some interesting stories. I've always wanted an old Indian to play with (the bike, you sickos, not some old guy from Bombay). Too bad you never got your Granny on a bike. Sounds like she would have loved it.

[Sinister]

Like the Indians, do ya? How's about this one? This is a Brother's. Well, one of his sleds, anyway.

And Granny would have fit into my group of friends like a hand into a glove. It's a shame she passed on before I lived among them. She would have had a blast.

[Middle Finger]

Great, more posts involving biker crap.

Thanks.

[Middle Finger]

Hopefully we can fit in some biker tattoo bullsh ... oh wait, that's in ANOTHER thread right now.

[The Antagonist]

Beautiful bike Sin!

Funny thing this turned into biker grannies. Although my Gran was not a biker by any stretch of the imagination she always asked me to take her for a ride. But since my bike didn't have a back seat, my ex always obliged her.

Gramps was never too thrilled about that!

And talk about Indians.... Gramps and his brother used to hill climb with them way way way back in like the '30's when he was a kid in Pennsylvania. His brother didn't make one hill climb and slid down the whole thing with the bike on one of his legs, giant 'road rash' that needed medical attention which turned bad. He chucked the bike after that.

I wish he would have kept it and stored it! I would love to have taken on a restore job like that.

Sorry your funeral was total shit new fish....... There is no excuse for ineptitude, fucked up family or not.

[SyberBitch]

Like the Indians, do ya? How's about this one? This is a Brother's.

I'm sure it would be a sweet ride, but it looks like one of the new ones.

This is the type I've always wanted...

[SyberBitch]

...He chucked the bike after that.

::blink:: Getting rid of a bike because you had a wreck is like burning your house down because you fell down the stairs. What a shame.