Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 3 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Man wants to ban certain smells in his town
#1
****Duchess, in defference to your delicate sensibilities, I did not use the word FART in the title here, but the article is about farts.

____________________________________________

A resident of Pendleton, Oregon, has written a letter requesting the city council ban the smell of farts in the community, but he has a good reason to be raising a stink.

Last week, the City of Pendleton updated its nuisance ordinances to cover the smell of marijuana, NBC reported at the time. That means that even though recreational marijuana will be legal in Oregon starting in July, a person can be fined up to $500 if someone complains they smell marijuana coming from that person’s property.

In a letter published in the East Oregonian on Thursday, someone who signed his name as Peter Walters merely asked that council members take the next logical step and start regulating a far more noxious scent:
It was with great relief Thursday when I read in the East Oregonian that Pendleton’s city council took the time to pass an amendment to the city’s nuisance ordinance banning marijuana odor. Clearly, there has been no issue of greater importance facing the city. Now that this important work has been completed I hope that the council will move on to restricting the other offensive smell that plagues our community: farts.
Walters, who is pretty clearly mocking the marijuana ordinance, notes, “Some habitual farters argue that they need to fart for medical reasons but that doesn’t mean my kids should have to smell their farts.”

Here is full letter
It was with great relief Thursday when I read in the East Oregonian that Pendleton’s city council took the time to pass an amendment to the city’s nuisance ordinance banning marijuana odor. Clearly, there has been no issue of greater importance facing the city. Now that this important work has been completed I hope that the council will move on to restricting the other offensive smell that plagues our community: farts.

While farting may be legal in Oregon, many (including myself) are offended by the flatulent stench. Too often, homeowners and businesses fail to contain farts to their property, forcing the rest of us to put up with the smell. Some habitual farters argue that they need to fart for medical reasons but that doesn’t mean my kids should have to smell their farts. The city council should stop looking the other way and pretending not to notice.

I’m not even going to talk about intensity of farts. After all, as Pendleton police Chief Stuart Roberts put it: “It’s a very subjective standard in terms of whether people are offended by [smells] or not.”

This issue greatly affects me as I have a roommate whose recreational farting has been negatively affecting my quality of life for several months now. He claims that he is taking steps to mitigate the odor after I contacted the authorities. But unless our elected officials add farts to Pendleton’s nuisance code, it’s as if he who smelt it, dealt it. I call on our city council to set aside all other work and address this problem.

Peter Walters

Pendleton
Reply
#2
Farts never ever stop being funny.
Thank god I am oblivious to the opinions of others while caught in the blinding splendor of my own cleverness.
Reply
#3
(05-25-2015, 08:20 PM)QueenBee Wrote: Duchess, in defference to your delicate sensibilities, I did not use the word FART in the title here


Thank you. That would rank up there with menstruation being on the front page of Mock.
[Image: Zy3rKpW.png]
Reply
#4
Geez, don't give Clang any ideas!!!
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
Reply