LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE

[Love Child]

I know a pathological liar. I looked up the definition of that before I made this statement and this person fits the profile. Why would anyone lie about mundane bullshit that is mostly meaningless? I'm talkin' lies about food and daytime activities, meaningless, mundane bullshit. Do you know anyone like this?

I think there are lies where someone is trying to cover their ass on something they did, and then there is this kind of lie or lier, where they are "constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves". Which of course makes it impossible for them to be honest with anyone else. Once you know this about that person, you can just take everything they say at face value, if I am using that term correctly. You just assume that whatever they are saying may or may not be true. Sucks, but that is what I did as a manager quite often.

Then there are the people that never believe anything anyone says. I don't want to be one of those people. I would rather be the lying person!!!! : D (That was sort of a joke)

I lived with a lady who questioned everything that everybody said as if you were lying. It was really annoying.

[Duchess]

I lived with a lady who questioned everything that everybody said as if you were lying.

I know someone like that, she thinks the whole world is out to get over on her when the reality is no one gives her a second thought.

[Donovan]

I can't tolerate a lie either in myself or people I deal with, too much early childhood psychic damage and mental scar tissue. Probably why I live alone like a fucking hermit. Because damn near everyone lies to you sooner or later, and I can't stop myself from seeing when they have.

[Duchess]

I have this policy that if I don't feel like I can tell the truth, I won't say anything at all.

Everyone always says they want the truth but there are moments in time where when they get the truth feelings get hurt & people get angry.

[Love Child]

I don't know if we would get along then Donovan because I lie!

My upbringing was this-if you did something wrong (broke the statue on the mantel when you were playing superwoman in the living room) you got your ass beat. So I learned that perhaps lying was better in order not to get a spanking.

I catch myself as an adult lying sometimes when I could have just told the truth. But I am working on it!

So that was the first part of my life.

The second part of my life-father is out of the picture, no longer getting my ass wooped, but now mom is drinking. So as a teenager I lied to avoid embarrassment about why my mom is not at teacher/student events or the other embarrassing things that happen when one has an alcoholic parent.

Now my mom doesn't drink anymore, my dad doesn't woop my ass anymore but I must loose any habit of lying.

And then what about those business lies-when you are working for a company that encourages you to lie about things?

That is why I am glad to work in an environment now where there is transparency. It is really nice.

Of course if you are Gear, you don't believe anything and you think everyone is lying.

Don't hate me Dono! I read what you wrote about your brother, that is tough. I can deal with acquaintances in my life who are pathological liars, but I think it would be tough to deal with a family member.

[Love Child]

I am going to watch my truths this week and see what situations I am in where I feel I need to lie. And then I am going to write about wherever the last time is/was that I lied and why.

What if you lie to family because they judge you?
Or to Christians because they don't understand-
What kind of lying are we talking about here?!

The only time I can think about a good reason to lie is if you are trying to protect yourself from something-some danger or a person. Other than that I do not see a reason. (speaking personally in my life)

[aussiefriend]

^ In that instance Love Child, you are talking about social prejudice and harm to you either economically, socially, or in some other way. In these cases you have to protect yourself and your environment. It would be concerning if you were deliberately putting yourself in harms way. You then avoid those kind of interactions.

I think of that movie 'Not without my daughter' and how she had to lie to get out of that country. There are times when you do it and God is with you.

[Love Child]

Yeah, that is a pretty extreme case. And understandable.

I recall the latest lie I told. It was to the Nurse on staff here. She asked me how many Ibuprofren I had taken and she told me it was too much, so the next time I lied to her. My doctor has approved a certain amount for me to take. I suppose I could listen to her. I just hate being in pain. (my justification)

So there you have it Dono, what do you say?

[Duchess]

Is it lying when you're asked "how are you" and you reply "fine, thanks", when you're not fine? Can that really be considered a lie? I do that frequently, I always respond with fine, thanks no matter how I feel.

[Love Child]

Is it lying when he pulls down his pants and I say, "OMG that is so huge!"

[Duchess]

Maybe simply OMG would suffice.

[ramseycat]

Is it lying when you're asked "how are you" and you reply "fine, thanks", when you're not fine? Can that really be considered a lie? I do that frequently, I always respond with fine, thanks no matter how I feel.

I guess it depends on if the person asking really cares how you are or they are just being polite.

[Donovan]

I have forced myself over time to be a little more easygoing when it comes to lying, but I still can't do it myself without being extremely troubled. People lie, all the time. I can't stop myself from detecting it, but when I was young even a small lie would be enough for me to immolate a relationship. Now I try to keep it to just a handful of "no-fly-zones" where a lie would destroy things. I usually try to warn people in advance where my hot buttons are. It's an act of trust on my part to show them my vulnerabilities. It's up to them not to abuse that trust, because I only give it once.

[aussiefriend]

Love Child, sometimes when patients are asked how many drinks they consume every day they minimise what they take to avoid whatever the consequences will be if they tell the full truth. They may do this for a number of reasons, they may be in denial, they may consider this private intimate informatin that they are not comfortable with sharing.

With your medication management, sometimes because of medication laws and medication regimes that are administered by health professionals, there are strict rules, they are applying those rules in your private life. I say just be sensible. It's not a deliberate act of or intent of deception. It is intimate personal information that you are uncomfortable sharing. It can take a while to build a rapore with a person before you are willing to share such information. I don't think you would qualify for the 'Liar of the Year' award.

[Duchess]

I guess it depends on if the person asking really cares how you are or they are just being polite.

Always with those who I know are just being polite.

[aussiefriend]

I guess it depends on if the person asking really cares how you are or they are just being polite.

Always with those who I know are just being polite.

They shouldn't fucking ask it if they don't mean it. It is inauthentic, insincere and shallow. I am one of those people who asks 'how are you' I mean it and if it's not good I try and help, even if it is in a minor way.

[Duchess]

I'm guilty of it myself, Aussie.

[ramseycat]

I guess it depends on if the person asking really cares how you are or they are just being polite.

Always with those who I know are just being polite.

They shouldn't fucking ask it if they don't mean it. It is inauthentic, insincere and shallow. I am one of those people who asks 'how are you' I mean it and if it's not good I try and help, even if it is in a minor way.

What if it's someone you barely know or just met? You really can't go prying into their private life.

[Donovan]

"Say what you mean, and mean what you say." Hardest words in the world to live by, but I do my best.

[aussiefriend]

I guess it depends on if the person asking really cares how you are or they are just being polite.

Always with those who I know are just being polite.

They shouldn't fucking ask it if they don't mean it. It is inauthentic, insincere and shallow. I am one of those people who asks 'how are you' I mean it and if it's not good I try and help, even if it is in a minor way.

What if it's someone you barely know or just met? You really can't go prying into their private life.

what about saying "why? what's happened?" they then have the choice to divulge as little or as much as they want. Give a little advice, share a little kindness, that's it. Some people are difficult to disengage, that is a risk. You just have to look for them to take a breath and excuse yourself and you are gone. Maybe there is a skill to it.