The 2015 trivial drivel thread

[BigMark]

Housing market is pretty hot here at the moment. Places like this with a few acres and only half an hour to some of the best beaches in Australia are getting harder to find. Anyway, never really been happy here so I don't think I'll encounter any sellers remorse.

Bought a 40ft shipping container yesterday to pack what I want to keep into. Looking at a job back in West Papua and another in Qatar. Looked at a job in Angola. It paid £800/day, 75 days on/21 off, but fuck that, Angola; 12 grand a week is fuck all good to you when you have Ebola.

Also put my name in a list for some rig work in the Timor Sea. Don't expect much to come out of that one, but it's the top of the wishlist

What don't you like about Australia?

[Duchess]

Mine were delivered yesterday afternoon, but I haven't had a chance to open the box yet.

I'm still waiting for mine! They haven't even charged my credit card yet. I'm lusting after your lights, Hot D.

I'm glad I live so far off the road, those lights are being stolen from people's yards around here.

I hope you enjoy the hell outta them. I think they are so cool.

[crash]

My neighbour at the top of the street bought those lights. They look tacky as hell.

[HairOfTheDog]

My neighbour at the top of the street bought those lights. They look tacky as hell.

Grinch!

I've got a lot of foliage out back and two sets of stairs, which they should light up pretty well.

It's all in the placement and color options. I'm only gonna use the green light filter, not the red one. I think it's gonna look really cool.

(But, if they do look tacky, hopefully it'll be so embarrassing that the critters will look for higher class digs.)

[crash]

I am not the grinch!

For your information I had to send my kids on the guilt trip from hell to get them home last weekend to help me put the lights up here one last time.

I'm old school. Those five minute lights are for the Indians up the street.

[HairOfTheDog]

Hey, I'm not too proud for immediate gratification when it comes to household solutions.

I suck at asking for help and I'm even worse when it comes to tripping the guilt.

Anyway, when I post pics of my stellar starry stairs, you'll be green with envy I bet.

[Duchess]

Well, I can hardly wait to get my man's hands on those lights. Psyched! If they come after Christmas I still intend to plug those puppies in and enjoy them. I'm going to point them at the pool wall so I can see them every time I walk by a window.

[crash]

One for you, Mags..

[Maggot]

...........I wonder what they're using for the piss. I don't believe its water. And I would not piss on our President.

[Maggot]

Are you gumby's using those lights shined on a house things?

[HairOfTheDog]

Well, I can hardly wait to get my man's hands on those lights. Psyched! If they come after Christmas I still intend to plug those puppies in and enjoy them. I'm going to point them at the pool wall so I can see them every time I walk by a window.

I just took one of them out of the box and tried it out. They really are cool, but you have to test it in a completely dark room.

The ceiling in my bedroom downstairs is covered in green lights.

Be careful not to have it facing up when you plug it in. I made that mistake and I'm still seeing a little fuzzy. I thought Santa was pissing on DRAMA.

[crash]

It's officially Christmas in the Crash residence. I've turned the phone off for the year and found a Christmas cocktail for the season.

Vodka Cranberry Kamikaze Crash

1 measure of vodka
1 measure of orange liqueur, like Cointreau
¹⁄₂ measure of lime juice cordial, I use bickfords
2 measures of cranberry juice
2 measures of club soda
1 mint leaf

Put all ingredients in a shaker and serve in a highball over plenty of ice.

Mocky Christmas, Mockfuckers!

[Duchess]

Cheers, mate! Glug, glug, glug.

Mockfuckers. Hehehe

[BigMark]

Ever had a duck fart?

[Duchess]

No, I haven't, I'm not much of a drinker, I'm a pothead but having said that, that drink looks pretty good -

Duck Fart -

1 oz Kahlua
1 oz Baileys Irish Cream
¹⁄₂ oz Crown Royal or other Canadian whisky

Pour the Kahlua in to a shot glass (or rocks glass, in which case double the amount for all ingredients). Slowly pour the Baileys over the rounded side of a spoon in on top of the Kahlua, taking your time not to muddle them. Do the same with the whisky.

[username]

I'm starting to rock crossword puzzles.

Another name for anencephaly:

RAMSEY.

Missed me????

I'm not sure if I just got sick of you fuckers or too damn busy (probably some combination of both) but I'm back.............

I am SO fucking happy the kids are out of school for a couple of weeks. They're going to take their driving tests some time in January and my husband is trying to give me all that value shit...they need to earn a car, pay for their insurance blah, blah, blah. I'm in total agreement provided we pay them $1,000 a week to wash the damn dishes or something. I want those little bastards driving themselves around soon. I'm like an Ubber driver on meth lately.

In the meantime, my husband got the idea (I guess from my son) that he would appreciate a mountain bike for Christmas. My husband bought him one...for $2,300. WTF?

Clearly it's crazy as ever here.

[ramseycat]

Why not just but him a car for that much money?

[Maggot]

Can someone but me a truck? I've been good dammit!

[username]

Why not just but him a car for that much money?

No shit, Captain Obvious. And the truth is, while my son might kind of like the bike, he'd LOVE a car.

In all his brilliance, my husband says he's going to try to keep the value of the bike a secret. Wouldn't want my son to realize he could have used that money towards a car...

[crash]

Hey, Clare Dunphy, can you not fuck the title of the 2016 drivel thread up this year?

I was going to post it myself, but it was the old lady's tradition passed on to you, so it wouldn't of been right.