My coffee maker bitches

[sally]

I really like this thing. A lot. It's fucking awesome. Also when you turn the dial you get more coffee types, like flat white and ristretto. The flat white is really good. The only problem with it is it's addicting and I'm going to get caffeine poisoning. And the coffee it makes is like nothing I've ever tasted before, it's a cup of heaven.

[Clang McFly]

Words...fail...so...much coffee envy...I hope that machine is at least a bitch to clean...who the fuck am I kidding...coffee machine of the gods and the future probably has like 15 different self-cleaning modes....

[sally]

She cleans herself. And here she is making a vanilla caramel flat white from the gods with our boy looking on. His hair is growing in nicely. That was my Christmas gift to my husband.

[HairOfTheDog]

It's pretty effin' cool, sal.

It might be even cooler than aussie's much-touted bench-top dishwasher.

Still.........F.U.'s and my old-school fridges are by far the coolest Mock appliances; hands down.

ETA: Haha, Trump looks pretty good with Chia hair!

[crash]

Does it use those silly little capsules or does it grind its own?

[Clang McFly]

I bet it comes with its own mini-drones to fly to Shangri-La/Mount Olympus/Atlantis and hand pick the coffee beans.

[sally]

Does it use those silly little capsules or does it grind its own?

No, you put the beans in and it grinds them freshly for every cup. It seriously make the best coffee I've ever tasted. The thing you see next to it is a milk cooler so depending on the type of coffee you select it extracts the milk from there, heats it and froths it perfectly with the coffee. Obviously if you press espresso it doesn't use milk, but if you press the cappucino button for example it takes the milk and somehow compresses it in a way that it makes it as airy and light as feathers.

[FAHQTOO]

The hose would drive me nuts to look at.

[sally]

It annoys me too, it's so sleek looking and then you have that like eyesore. I take it off when we're done with it in the morning.

[Duchess]

That's a thing of beauty!

...and I'm not talking about fuckface.

[Carsman]

Saaweett, I'll take a large Cappuccino please!

[F.U.]

Still.........F.U.'s and my old-school fridges are by far the coolest Mock appliances; hands down.

I am no longer a member of the cool old-school fridge club, HotD. I recently replaced my old one with a shiny new stainless model.
Stainless fridge, Cable TV and a new laptop with windows 10. What have I done?

[Clang McFly]

Still.........F.U.'s and my old-school fridges are by far the coolest Mock appliances; hands down.

I am no longer a member of the cool old-school fridge club, HotD. I recently replaced my old one with a shiny new stainless model.
Stainless fridge, Cable TV and a new laptop with windows 10. What have I done?

Joined the 21^st century. Welcome. I myself am feeling like a bit of a dinosaur and need to get myself a smart phone.

[sally]

I can't even use my phone out in public, I'll get ridiculed if anyone sees me with that thing.

[Duchess]

Sally, do you have a flip phone?

I often wish I didn't have to have a phone. Sometimes when it rings I look at like it's the devil.

[Maggot]

I myself cannot wait to be walking into fountains and off cllffs and oncoming traffic and stuff. To have people honk at me at lights that just turned green and to not move over on the sidewalk because my face is in the damn thing. I just cannot wait.

[sally]

[size=medium][i]

Sally, do you have a flip phone?

No my beloved flip phone broke and I wasn't allowed to buy another one. My husband was driving and got mad at me because he wanted me to put an address on the GPS on his phone and I couldn't figure it out. So I had to get a regular phone with the internet and all that crap so I won't be a fucking idiot anymore.

So now I got his old Galaxy 5 which that too is probably ancient compared to what's out now, but at least I can GPS and email now.

[Clang McFly]

I can't even use my phone out in public, I'll get ridiculed if anyone sees me with that thing.

I feel so ashamed when people tell me they'll text me, and I have to admit I don't have a phone with internet or text.

[sally]

When I had that flip phone it could receive texts, but sending one back was impossible so I never bothered checking it. Then when I did check it I had all these messages from people from months ago. Oh look it's my property manager, the tenant says the dishwasher is broke. Apparently they resolved that one on their own.

[aussiefriend]

I think that coffee makers need to still keep evolving, they are still too complicated. It needs to be simpler, and easier to use for those who are busy. When people are using their coffee makers first thing in the morning, they are tired and cranky and just need it done and sorted the way they like it. I don't see that yet. I think they are way complicated and overpriced.