From Fuck My Life

[ramseycat]

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML



People are not right.

[ramseycat]

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

[ramseycat]

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML



::lmao::

[Duchess]

I would fucking die...Just die...Dig a hole & push me in...Oh Jesus, the horror.

[LuMPyPussy]

He probably smelled everything too.

[ramseycat]

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

FOUL.

[ramseycat]

Today, I found out my mother has another new boyfriend. She told me she wanted me to meet him, and I reluctantly agreed. When I walked out to meet him in the living room, to my surprise, I knew him. He's 18, my mother is 44. He also happens to be in my second period high school math class. FML.

This is NOT me.

[LuMPyPussy]

I used to work at the Base Exchange in the ladies wear area and some low life actually took a dump in one of the fitting room mini trash cans.

[Cynical Ninja]

This young lad is slowly coming to terms with the fact he is gay, so he decides to go to the local outdoor public toilets to get some "action".
He goes into one of the cubicles, sits down on the toilet and notices a glory hole has been cut into the side of the cubicle, so he waits.
Eventually someone comes into the cubicle next door and after a few minutes an erect cock comes poking through the glory hole. The young lad does the business orally on the cock then flushes the toilet and walks out of the cubicle.
The cubicle door next to his opens and his dad walks out!!!

:shock:::bvomit::

[Jurassic]

Whilst serving in the Army, the single guys bought a girl back to the block for a gang bang, the Orderly Sgt decided to have a go, somebody kindly turned the lights on and he found he was shagging his own daughter.

[OnBendedKnee]

In a unisex bathroom at work, years ago, a woman had a miscarriage and simply left it in the toilet without flushing.

We figured out who it was but she denied it was hers.

The visual still kind of haunts me to this day even though I've seen worse since.

[ramseycat]

In a unisex bathroom at work, years ago, a woman had a miscarriage and simply left it in the toilet without flushing.

We figured out who it was but she denied it was hers.

The visual still kind of haunts me to this day even though I've seen worse since.

Wow. That is sick.

[LuMPyPussy]

Brilliant observation, Ramsey. You're a real asset to this forum.

[ramseycat]

Brilliant observation, Ramsey. You're a real asset to this forum.

More than anyone can say for you. You add about as much value as a wet dishrag. ::ban::

[Cynical Ninja]

Lumpy maybe a lonely, dildo loving, spinster bitch but she brings more to this place than you ever will tweedle dum.