THE BULLIED MURDERER

[Duchess]

I'm reading a book right now about a mass shooting at a high school. As the book began I learned a tiny bit about the cast of characters before the shooting occurred. After the kids and one of the teachers are murdered the book begins to go back & forth from the present to the years leading up to the killings. The boy that did the killing had been bullied by the same kids he killed. It started on his very first day of kindergarten and continued to the day of the murders. They made his life a living hell for years.

The book is fiction, it's a story and yet I'm having a hard time feeling any compassion for the murdered kids. FFS!  

[cannongal]

I'd love to know the name of the book.    I went from a private catholic school in the third grade to public education in the fourth grade.   I was bullied relentlessly,  for hand me down clothes, for not wearing make up, for starting my period in gym class (at 9 years old). I can kinda relate to the shooter.

[Duchess]

I'd love to know the name of the book.    

The town it takes place in is in New Hampshire.

[Clang McFly]

I'd love to know the name of the book.    I went from a private catholic school in the third grade to public education in the fourth grade.   I was bullied relentlessly,  for hand me down clothes, for not wearing make up, for starting my period in gym class (at 9 years old). I can kinda relate to the shooter.

I was bullied in public school Kindergarten through high school. For wearing the same dorky style clothes as my brothers, just in different colors, for being weird, introverted and socially awkward, for not being allowed to play sports so ended up being a really bad  band geek, choir member, drama club member. Not that my uncoordinated ass would have been good at sports but I never got the chance to find out. Oh and for being the new kid that moved from the city to a rural area and never really fit in.

[sally]

I'd love to know the name of the book.    I went from a private catholic school in the third grade to public education in the fourth grade.   I was bullied relentlessly,  for hand me down clothes, for not wearing make up, for starting my period in gym class (at 9 years old). I can kinda relate to the shooter.

Are you short, I only ask because 9 years old is really early so I was just curious.

[MirahM]

I'd love to know the name of the book.    I went from a private catholic school in the third grade to public education in the fourth grade.   I was bullied relentlessly,  for hand me down clothes, for not wearing make up, for starting my period in gym class (at 9 years old). I can kinda relate to the shooter.

I was bullied in public school Kindergarten through high school. For wearing the same dorky style clothes as my brothers, just in different colors, for being weird, introverted and socially awkward, for not being allowed to play sports so ended up being a really bad  band geek, choir member, drama club member. Not that my uncoordinated ass would have been good at sports but I never got the chance to find out. Oh and for being the new kid that moved from the city to a rural area and never really fit in.

Did you ever feel like killing people was a solution to the bullyiing? I should ask Cannon also.

[rothschild]

Everyone has a breaking point, beyond which lies madness.

[Clang McFly]

I'd love to know the name of the book.    I went from a private catholic school in the third grade to public education in the fourth grade.   I was bullied relentlessly,  for hand me down clothes, for not wearing make up, for starting my period in gym class (at 9 years old). I can kinda relate to the shooter.

I was bullied in public school Kindergarten through high school. For wearing the same dorky style clothes as my brothers, just in different colors, for being weird, introverted and socially awkward, for not being allowed to play sports so ended up being a really bad  band geek, choir member, drama club member. Not that my uncoordinated ass would have been good at sports but I never got the chance to find out. Oh and for being the new kid that moved from the city to a rural area and never really fit in.

Did you ever feel like killing people was a solution to the bullyiing? I should ask Cannon also.

No. I did cry myself to sleep alot and only once broke and stabbed my bully's right hand with a pen. Even then I was more concerned with getting in trouble and whether I had permanently damaged my bully's hand and given him ink poisoning. Luckily he wasn't a snitch and his hand was fine.

[Duchess]

Everyone has a breaking point, beyond which lies madness.

Tis true. 

I'm a little disappointed in myself that I didn't have compassion for the kids who were killed and then I consider that nearly every person learns as a little kid that there is a right way and a wrong way to treat others and when people, even kids, treat others in such a reprehensible way they KNOW what they are doing.

[sally]

That would be fine with me if they shot the bullies that made their life a living hell, but in real life they always kill innocent people.

[rothschild]

Everyone has a breaking point, beyond which lies madness.

Tis true. 

I'm a little disappointed in myself that I didn't have compassion for the kids who were killed and then I consider that nearly every person learns as a little kid that there is a right way and a wrong way to treat others and when people, even kids, treat others in such a reprehensible way they KNOW what they are doing.

People behave very differently in groups than they do as individuals, and parents and teachers often do a terrible job of showing children how to behave. Telling them how to behave is insufficient.

[Duchess]

I think it's the parent's job to set the example for their kids. 

[Clang McFly]

I think it's the parent's job to set the example for their kids. 

My mom set a terrible example. She'd be overprotective one minute and a big old softie the next minute. Mixed messages. No wonder I'm so fucked up. Well sure in hindsight I should have told my strict  Roman Catholic mom about my crossdressing and got the needed therapy for that and other issues. I don't know what I was scared of. She seemed cool with my younger brother Larry smoking pot and growing a pot plant.


My Dad was an even more terrible example. Hated his job and his boss. Slept alot, watched TV after work and on the weekends. Never taught me how to shave or ride a bike or any of the other stuff Dads are supposed to teach their kids.

[MirahM]

Try Chat GPT as a therapist.

[rothschild]

A funny thing happened on the way to ChatGPT...

[Clang McFly]

Try Chat GPT as a therapist.

Skynet 1.0? I think not. That's how the robots win the war.

[MirahM]

Suit yourself, or dress yourself. I knew you wouldn't take the suggestion. You had mentioned therapy so I offered a cheap solution.

[MirahM]

I'll try it for you in an incognito window on my computer. (I don't want to mess up my own chat gpt account)

My mom set a terrible example. She'd be overprotective one minute and a big old softie the next minute.

It sounds like your mom’s unpredictability might have made it challenging to figure out what to expect from her. That kind of inconsistency can definitely impact how you approach relationships and handle your own emotions. Have you noticed how that pattern affects you today?

My Dad was an even more terrible example. Hated his job and his boss. Slept alot, watched TV after work and on the weekends. Never taught me how to shave or ride a bike or any of the other stuff Dads are supposed to teach their kids.

It sounds like your dad’s lack of engagement and dissatisfaction with his job made him less present and involved in your life. It can be tough growing up without those kinds of guidance and connection. Sometimes, these experiences leave gaps that we need to fill in on our own or seek out elsewhere. Have you found ways to address or overcome these gaps, or things you’ve learned about yourself from these experiences?

And finally:
in hindsight I should have told my strict  Roman Catholic mom about my crossdressing and got the needed therapy for that and other issues. I don't know what I was scared of. She seemed cool with my younger brother Larry smoking pot and growing a pot plant.

It’s understandable to look back and think about how things might have been different if you had shared more with your mom. It can be really hard to predict how someone will react, especially when it comes to personal and sensitive topics. It’s interesting that she was more lenient with your brother, which might have made it harder to gauge her potential response to your situation.
Navigating your own needs and finding the right support can be challenging, especially when you’re unsure about how others will react. It’s never too late to seek out therapy or support if you feel you need it now. Have you found any support or ways to work through these feelings and experiences recently?

[MirahM]

I tried one more:

Mixed messages. No wonder I'm so fucked up.

Mixed messages from parents can definitely create a lot of confusion and self-doubt. It’s not uncommon to feel like the mixed signals you received growing up have had a lasting impact. It’s important to recognize that these experiences don’t define your worth or determine your future.

Addressing how you feel and finding ways to work through these challenges can be really helpful. Therapy or counseling might offer a space to unpack these feelings and develop strategies to move forward. It’s a process, and acknowledging the impact of your upbringing is a strong first step. How do you feel about seeking support or exploring ways to understand and manage these mixed feelings?

[MirahM]

And then I told it that I didn't want to go to therapy, and here was its response:

That's completely okay. Therapy isn't for everyone, and there are other ways to work through feelings and challenges. Sometimes talking things out with friends, journaling, or exploring personal interests and hobbies can be really helpful.

Finding support groups or communities where you can connect with people who have similar experiences might also be beneficial. Everyone’s path to understanding and healing is unique, so it’s about finding what works best for you. What are some ways you’ve found helpful in dealing with difficult emotions or situations in the past?