M O C K News at 5 , Sunday Aug 17 , 2008

[F.U.]

~[ Insert sound of typewriter franticly typing away] ~

Hello , and welcome to yourweekly edition of,
the Sunday 5 pm CST Mock news .
Where its the news that matters , Notthe grammar.

At our NEW location , in the
Discussions , Opinions & Debate section of our forum .

This is your News anchor Mr Pumpkin Ass reporting the Mock news , sports and weather .


Reporting on the stories that I want . The way I want .




Here are your stories that made the headlines this week .



Please hold your comments until the end of our programing .











I would like to start this weeks of with A thread started by the Mistress Demon Bitch . This thread is titled ... Great . Fuckin' jury fraud ...

It seams as though someone has once again figured out a way to prey on the trustworthy .
With a few lies and a stern tongue the caller is able to convince some to up their social security #'s . And unfortunately gaining a S. S.# is just the beginning of a " Identity Theft " nightmare .
Please be aware of this tactic .
This thread is full of tips and good advice for all .

Read the entire story in our Assholes In The News section of our forum .

Thanks Sinaster .






Our next story also comes to you from the Assholes In The News section . And comes to us from the Intergalactic administrator of attitude adjustments .
The Antagonist .
In a thread about our neighbors to the north titled , Canada's Great Eh? .
We read the story of a 81 year old man that has ben charged with operating an illegal business - even though he's never charged a penny for his work.
Yes you read thatcorrectly . To spend your day repairing your neighbors lawnmower for free is somehow a business in the eyes of the Canadian lawmakers .
And this is not the only case of this in that cold canadian community . Check out the thread for the entire tale .

Thanks Ant .






And now from a brand new section at Mock Forums...Members Eyes only .
In the titillating thread called Hot Redheads wefind a beautiful nude
------------EDIT--------------------EDIT --------------------EDIT ----------------------EDIT-----------------------EDIT---------------
that'sone luckyslice of watermelon!!!!!
I for one feel dam lucky as a "full member "to have access to that section . So members check it out for yourself and see if you can find the watermelon . And guests/visitors come on in , intro and have a look for yourself . After all , What have you got to lose ?







And on Wednesday Aug 13^th 2008 In a thread posted in our Discussions , Opinions & Debate section of our forum . Our dear sweet Duchess reveals her desire to get her first tattoo .
Reply's started rolling in soon after this thread was posted .And have now reached 5 pages and 65 posts .Some contain pics of the posters ink . Some contained tips . And some just make you scratch your head .
But ina " MOCK LITE "fashion some postsdo contain insults such as ...if you are a fucking pussy bitch, ... From Mr Liquid . As well as ...Yours is apussy cake walk. ... from The Antagonist .

So if you are or knowa human canvas , or just want to raise the MOCK count on this thread , give it a shot .

Thanks Duchess .







Our next story was posted just today . In our funny shit section of our forum you will find a thread started by Ant and titled ,O P Does have the ability to learn .
In this thread you will find several links to threads on another forum . Links thatAnt would like you all to have a lookto help youdecide for yourself as to weather O P is a Liar or not .
Great links , as well as several great cuts at the british butt bandit . Ant was slinging insults like ... because of the locked down babysitting country he lives in ... and ... Anyway, Shit for Brains calls me a ... as well as ... with this one article I can prove he's the liar, violent and is afraid to go verbally toe to toe with me because again and again he opens his yap and looks the fool. ...

So have a look at this thread for yourself , and you make the call on Opie .






We now turn to our attention to the Newbie Initiation & Torture .
This week , while a slow week we witnessed quite possibly the dumbest newbie we have yet to see . After just a few short posts nowonmai was offended and turned tail and pouted off into the sunset .
That's right it did not take long with insults such as ...Here's an avatar for the retard: ... From the Antagonist . As well as ...
no avatar lock the thread
no avatar he is dead

no avatar he cant follow the rules
no avatar isobviously a fool

no avatar he sucks ass
no avatar .....FUCK HIM
... From Mr Liquid .
With insults like that and our fearless leader givingtheir profile a well needed makeover . It is no wonder that nowonmai cut and ran .
Better luck next time Dummy !!!!






~[ cue the marching band]~



Now we turn to the sports section of our broadcast .




This week we witnessed the return of Brett Favre . Wearing a NY Jets jersey Brett made some greatplays, completing 5 of 6 throws with 1 for a Touch down .
The jets however came up short in this pre season gamewith their13-10 loss to the Washington Redskins on Saturday night .
But after all it is pre season , and Pre season counts for diddly squat .
Lets hope that as a team the Jets can get their act together before the season starts . Especially after the price tag that was on this new and improvedlineup .















Let's turnour attention to today's weather .

Today's weather is brought to you by M O C K Firearms . ..

Were at M O C K Firearms we say " Never bring a knife to a gun fight "