The Newest Utterly Fucking Pointless Thread

[Lady Cop]

EDMOND, OK -- Edmond 911 dispatchers field dozens of calls everyday. But this was among the strangest in recent memory.

Dispatcher: What's going on there ma'am?
Caller: I have some kind of animal in the toilet in my bathroom.
Dispatcher: Like, what's it look like?
Caller: Well, it's gray. That's all I can tell you. I didn't look real good because it scared me to death. I'm sorry.
Dispatcher: But it's not like one of your animals, like a cat or something?
Caller: No. My cat is in my office behaving herself.

Edmond Officer Derek Kennedy was the first to respond to Candlewood Drive.

When he arrived, he discovered the aggressive squirrel, still in the toilet.

"As soon as I saw the squirrel, I knew I needed back up immediately," Officer Kennedy said. AGHHHHHH...BACKUP! SEND BACKUP!

Kennedy and his partner spent the next several minutes trying to capture the creature.

Kennedy says, "We wrangled up some snake tongs, a dog kennel. After a 5-minute chase, and him chasing us, we caught him."

The Edmond cops then released him in the park across the street.

It's a mystery how the squirrel got inside the house and in the toilet in the first place.