Twas the night before Christmas...

[Elvira]

Merry Christmas Eve, BITCHES. Hopefully by the time you’re reading this you’ve already enjoyed your first serving of Christmas booze (if your mom skimps on the nutmeg do not hesitate to call her out for it on Monday). A few more of those and perhaps you can even forget Duchess disturbingly erotic avatar.

Happy Christmas, everyone. If you had a serious problem this week, rest assured: there’s no chance I answered it. People with serious problems got relegated to 2011, while those of you with minor problems got featured because I’m an indecisive alcoholic. Ah, the Christmas spirit runs deep here.