Look what my day is going to

[Cracker]

Don't hit your knuckles. That hurts like a muther when it's cold.

Of course you know to wear a knit hat so you don't freeze to death. People also underestimate the warming properties of a good scarf (just don't accidentally hang yourself).

I wish men could enjoy the warmth of pantyhose. They are much less bulky than thermals. Cut the crotch out of a pair of your wife's hose to wear tomorrow. Use them to wipe with at a truck stop on the way home and she'll never know.