perpetrator families: opinions?

[HairOfTheDog]

i remember once when i was growing up, there was a newspaper article about some kid in our town who was murdered. my mother said under her breath that if she had to choose, she would rather be the mother of the victim than of the perpetrator ...

That goes to the heart of the premise of this thread. I agree with your mother.

Not me. It would be harder to lose my innocent child, forever, due to senseless violence than it would be to have my child alive and ostracized for bad deeds. Sounds selfish to wish your own child dead rather than to face up and live with his bad deeds, to me. Everyone's different. Interesting differences in views in this thread.