*MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND*

[Teacher]

I don't want to get old.

Cracker, you've got to think of all the positives of aging:

1. Senior Citizens' Discounts
2. Social Security benefits (UNLESS you taught in my state where you can't even collect your spouse's - it just stops if he goes first - great reward for teachers here.) Husband not a teacher.
3. Medicare (When I taught I had the Flex Plan which meant I was covered by my husband's insurance but also was able to get $2500 per year for other health concerns). Never any money out of my pocket! Now I have the joy of paying approx. $340 quarterly for Medicare and another bonus is it just keeps going up. This does not include prescriptions - your supplemental ins. helps a lot there.
4. You can still see.........but barely.
5. You can still hear........ a mumbling of sorts.
6. The various joint/muscle pains that you thought wouldn't happen to you helps you to remember that you are still alive.
7. Your metabolism slowly changes. Isn't change supposed to be good? Need less food and more rest and still tired all the time. Helps with the grocery bill.
8. If you're a person who craves sympathy, then you'll get more sympathetic looks as opposed to....
9. You give much humor to those who like to point and laugh at the way you look, act, or "anything".
10. If you don't like the way your face looks, age can certainly change that. In fact, you may not look one thing like you did in your younger days - and by younger I mean until you hit around 55. Then it's truly a miracle what happens to your face and body. Some last until 65.
11. Your budget for clothing/shoes is cut dramatically. Since you can't find anything that doesn't look like it should belong to a teeny-bopper, you just give up since there's nothing that looks good on you anyway.
12. Do compliments embarrass you? Well, you won't have to worry about getting them anymore. Well, I do exaggerate. I have found that the only way to get one is to lie about my age. Add at least 20 years to your age when someone asks you - works every time. "Oh, you certainly don't look that age!" or "Boy, I can't believe you look so young. What is your secret?"
13. No more worrying about getting a speeding ticket especially if it's at night. However, you could get a ticket for going too slow.
14. For those you never liked anyway, you don't have to worry about them anymore. They won't be able to recognize you.
15. You are much safer. All the things you loved to do the most cannot be done anymore. My favorite activity (water-skiing) is now out of the question. For some unknown reason the bones thin and get brittle-------but you are safer and spend less money sitting at home typing nonsense like this on Mock.

Sure hope this makes you appreciate what lies ahead. I've done my best to convince you. Any more questions and I'll be here to help. \


Edit: Have to add one (did I say one?) negative to all of these positives. In your mind, you are NOT old. You're still the same person trapped in an old body. Realization hits when you're out having a good time and suddenly spot yourself in a mirror. Shocking! I am not making this up either. Some day you will know what I mean.