DEFILED - IN A GOOD WAY

[HairOfTheDog]

I'd like to know what honey pickle won't fix.

Cars
Toilets
Bear problems

Honeyed pickles can be used to lead hungry vegetarian bears away from picnic baskets. The longer the pickle, the more effective, of course... Fact.

(Caution: This does not work on vegan bears; the whole forbidden "honey" thing.)

I meant bear problems as in getting attacked by a bear, but thats good advice too.

Oops, sorry Clang, I was hungry when I responded to your post.

You are right, a simple honey-lathered pickle is not much use when being attacked by a carniverous bear.

In such a case, you will need a pickle that has been rubbed thoroughly with bacon grease prior to the honey application. When the bear approaches, stick out your pickle and lead him/her, at bay, for about 25 feet. At this point, you will see that the bear is salavating and that he/she is unable to take his/her eyes off of your delicious pickle. It is then safe to toss it and run (in the opposite direction of the flying pickle and the running bear).