@USERNAME -- CATCH UP, FRENCH FRY!

[Donovan]

Before we get too carried away around here, I didn't actually cheat.

I initiated a text conversation that I shouldn't have, saw where it was heading and removed myself from the situation.

Holy Hannah!

Sorry bud, your forgiveness speech sounded exactly like every other self-serving con who's been caught trying to put his hand in the nookie jar.

Step one: downplay the actual offense
step two: semi-justify it by shifting blame
step three: admit weakness and invoke Jesus or God or both
step four: profess undying love for family
step five: admit you are a victim of your own weakness thereby absolving all accountability.