03-24-2015, 06:57 PM
funnier embarrassing moment. When I was in sixth grade, underage and developmentally about a year behind my peers, I went to a summer camp where the sixth grade boys cabin, not surprisingly, spent a lot of time talking about the smoking hot female counselor in the Girls' cabin. Cheered on by the older male counselors, the talk was bawdy and perverse and as sexist as pubescent boys can be. Lot of raucous laughter and titty jokes in the cabin at night and before breakfast.
I had no idea how to socialize that way and was awkward as hell, but in a misguided attempt to fit in at lunch time, I tentatively but loudly offered some inappropriate rude and extremely lame comment about the female counselor du jour. The reaction, instead of goodnatured laughter, was stone faces and a quick hush gesture by several older boys. I abruptly realized that the counselor I'd just mentioned loudly and crudely was directly behind me to my left, about two feet away from my suddenly uncomfortable self.
Stammering, I attempted to save face by throwing it off on the OTHER older female counselor, who was like Mary Ann hot to the first one's Ginger hot. Just as loudly, so the first girl could hear, I said, "but you know who I really am hot for, is counselor so-and-so..." who, as I turned in the rapidly silencing room with every single set of eyes on me, was seated two feet behind me on my right.
I don't think anybody before or since ever so publicly and graphically sexually harassed two completely different counselors in front of that many witnesses in such a short time span. I bet I still hold that record to this day. They probably talk about me like those legends of giant catfish or mythical campers of yore. "Oh sure, you kids tell a mean titty joke, but lemme tell you the legend of ol' Mushmouth Donnie, King of the Social Melvins..."
I also don't think any kid before or since wished quite so hard for a sudden and catastrophic earthquake to swallow them up. I'd like to say that both girls turned around and cooed, "Why choose, honeybun, we LOOOOVE to share." and covered me with kisses and whatnot, but I'm gonna say that isn't how it went down. No kisses, no cooing, not even a whatnot. I think I hid out for the rest of the week saying and doing as little as possible, and never attended another summer camp. Ever.
I had no idea how to socialize that way and was awkward as hell, but in a misguided attempt to fit in at lunch time, I tentatively but loudly offered some inappropriate rude and extremely lame comment about the female counselor du jour. The reaction, instead of goodnatured laughter, was stone faces and a quick hush gesture by several older boys. I abruptly realized that the counselor I'd just mentioned loudly and crudely was directly behind me to my left, about two feet away from my suddenly uncomfortable self.
Stammering, I attempted to save face by throwing it off on the OTHER older female counselor, who was like Mary Ann hot to the first one's Ginger hot. Just as loudly, so the first girl could hear, I said, "but you know who I really am hot for, is counselor so-and-so..." who, as I turned in the rapidly silencing room with every single set of eyes on me, was seated two feet behind me on my right.
I don't think anybody before or since ever so publicly and graphically sexually harassed two completely different counselors in front of that many witnesses in such a short time span. I bet I still hold that record to this day. They probably talk about me like those legends of giant catfish or mythical campers of yore. "Oh sure, you kids tell a mean titty joke, but lemme tell you the legend of ol' Mushmouth Donnie, King of the Social Melvins..."
I also don't think any kid before or since wished quite so hard for a sudden and catastrophic earthquake to swallow them up. I'd like to say that both girls turned around and cooed, "Why choose, honeybun, we LOOOOVE to share." and covered me with kisses and whatnot, but I'm gonna say that isn't how it went down. No kisses, no cooing, not even a whatnot. I think I hid out for the rest of the week saying and doing as little as possible, and never attended another summer camp. Ever.