04-24-2015, 11:39 AM
(04-24-2015, 11:07 AM)Clang McFly Wrote: No bitchin' afterlife.There's no sex or boners in Heaven. Crack open your Bible once in awhile!
Strippers are for the living!
No boners in heaven?!?! Well, then, what's to say you're not in heaven now?
I have read the Bible for Dummies. So, this I know: even if you consider watching striptease to be a sin (I don't) and you avoid it while you're alive, the Bible gives you no assurance whatsoever that you'll end up in Heaven. That's true no matter how righteous you live your life. You'll just sleep in your grave until Jesus, maybe, returns and raises you to immortal life.
If Jesus indeed decides to drop back in on earth some day, the Bible says that the "wicked" will be raised to life in a separate resurrection—the resurrection of condemnation.
Jesus said, “Do not marvel at this; for the hour is coming in which all who are in the graves will hear His voice and come forth—those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation.” (John 5:28, 29, NKJV).
None of which matters, however, because Strippers for Death are for the Chinese and you are a Buddhist in our OP scenario. So, the more mourners enjoying the strippers at Chinaman Clang's Fun-filled Funeral Fiesta, the better chance your spirit will be reincarnated in the body of a Chinese rap mogul crawling with babes and eating crab rangoon to your heart's content.
Strippers for Life and Death.................... and beyond!