Have you ever faked it?

[Clang McFly]

P.s. hang up on that repeat caller with Air Supply and Dan Fogelberg playing in the background; he'll be expecting tit texts and talking about Jesus's forgiveness in no time.

I'll do and say a lot of things for $1.99 per minute, but I draw the line at pretending to be a sexed up Mother Abbess.

There goes my Sound of Music fantasy. You could have been in my Von (sex) Trapp. The hills would have been alive...