A few reasons to still be a virgin at 30 & 40 yrs old

[HairOfTheDog]

Clang needs a gong. So every time he walks in a room a midget can whack it.

Is the midget from Game of Thrones available?

Unfortunately, that talented little guy is all booked up.

However, there is an over-the-hill Oompa Loompa who's looking for side work as a gong-banger.



Though he's known to indulge in psychadelics from time to time, he doesn't mind sharing and the chicks love him -- wouldn't be the worst guy to have underfoot.