04-08-2016, 03:36 AM
(04-06-2016, 09:24 PM)blueberryhill Wrote: Although difficult to do, you need to try to take her out of the picture
I agree with BBH. Just kill the bitch.
But seriously, I picked up on the role reversal as soon as you said the man met the party girl secretly but there was no sex. Men don't pull that half-assed shit of "meeting for closure." They decide to ride dirty, or they keep their dick at home.
I'll tell you what finance class taught me. There's no such thing as good business decisions based on sunk costs. All the time, energy, history... it's in the past. You can't bring back the past no matter what. Whether you invested 5 bucks or 500 million bucks, there's no way to get that money back. It's sunk. All you can do is look at today, this point forward, and say "does this project yield a positive net present value?" Is the revenue higher than the expenses moving forward? If not, kill the project.
You seem like you're very convinced you'll never get over the lying. I can tell you that you can, and you should forgive her for lying right now. I'm very much the same way, I am fiercely loyal and totally lose my shit when others aren't. But anger fades with time and maturity, and anger shouldn't affect your future strategy. You have a choice to make same as her. Stay or go. She'll either decide she was an idiot for considering alternatives, or she'll choose to move on. That's her life no matter what ultimatums you give her.
If you both decide to invest in the relationship, it could move back in a positive direction. It is a possibility. But it will take a lot of effort on both your parts. If the energy and time that it would take to reach that point isn't worth the payout (again from right now moving forward), then you'll resent each other for not being worth the trouble, and you should invest your resources elsewhere.
That "once a cheater always a cheater" "people don't change" "eye for an eye" mentality is crap. All that shit is in the past too. Decision making is all about the future. If I had to pin down a recommendation, I'd say take another break until you both decide what you want to do moving forward, but ultimately the decision is up to you.