12-17-2016, 02:19 AM
I have a question for people who have divorced or separated and what happens when your kids turn 18.
Do you even have custody agreements for 18 year olds? I would think not but what if your kids are going to local schools (community college or something) and we (me and my husband) agree they can stay "at home(s)" with rents or free the first 6 months. What if he doesn't want said adult kid(s) at his place on a given weekend and neither do I? How do you work that out (besides acting like two adults/parents that want the best for their kids)? Maybe you do have a calendar of sorts and just lay it out to the kids and say "hey, this is the general schedule but we'll be flexible when we can and you can always ask about switching something up...but please understand the answer maybe "no" if the parent you're asking is busy that weekend".
Does that sound civilized? I've heard of the PARENTS having a second home and taking turns going back to the main house (so basically you take turns at the second home too) so the kids don't have to move around but fuck that. I want my own place and I don't want to switch off at some flop house with my husband every few days and pick up his dirty underwear or something. That kind of takes away from the whole "separation" benefits. You're still sharing two residences so you don't really have your own space.
It's a shame that I need/want breaks from my kids/family but long story short, my daughter is stuck, my husband can't see his way toward setting expectations or consequences so....she runs the house and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I think this is going to be long term (hell, it's already been long term), she refuses the advice of her Drs. and I can't live with it anymore. I'm done....or done full time. I need to get out and get on with my life and hopefully one day she'll decide to take the advice of all the experts she's seen over the years. Or my husband will start making her life uncomfortable. But until then...I'm starting to make plans for my sanity. :/
I'm just not sure how people structure that but then they probably largely welcome the kids (young adults) kind of whenever. I can't do that and get the break(s) I need. Hmmmm.
Do you even have custody agreements for 18 year olds? I would think not but what if your kids are going to local schools (community college or something) and we (me and my husband) agree they can stay "at home(s)" with rents or free the first 6 months. What if he doesn't want said adult kid(s) at his place on a given weekend and neither do I? How do you work that out (besides acting like two adults/parents that want the best for their kids)? Maybe you do have a calendar of sorts and just lay it out to the kids and say "hey, this is the general schedule but we'll be flexible when we can and you can always ask about switching something up...but please understand the answer maybe "no" if the parent you're asking is busy that weekend".
Does that sound civilized? I've heard of the PARENTS having a second home and taking turns going back to the main house (so basically you take turns at the second home too) so the kids don't have to move around but fuck that. I want my own place and I don't want to switch off at some flop house with my husband every few days and pick up his dirty underwear or something. That kind of takes away from the whole "separation" benefits. You're still sharing two residences so you don't really have your own space.
It's a shame that I need/want breaks from my kids/family but long story short, my daughter is stuck, my husband can't see his way toward setting expectations or consequences so....she runs the house and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I think this is going to be long term (hell, it's already been long term), she refuses the advice of her Drs. and I can't live with it anymore. I'm done....or done full time. I need to get out and get on with my life and hopefully one day she'll decide to take the advice of all the experts she's seen over the years. Or my husband will start making her life uncomfortable. But until then...I'm starting to make plans for my sanity. :/
I'm just not sure how people structure that but then they probably largely welcome the kids (young adults) kind of whenever. I can't do that and get the break(s) I need. Hmmmm.
Commando Cunt Queen