I think my dog is broken

[sally]

Put a shock collar on him and everytime he goes to eat his poop zap that little sonofabitch.

Now that's something I haven't tried yet.

Well I was kind of joking. The poor nasty little guy. Maybe try one of those e-collars first that emits a high pitch sound that they dont like, I know people use them to get their dog to stop pulling on the leash.