350 knife assaults in England every day!

[D]

the cell-phone-as-my-carry-weapon

Hey, that's actually not a bad idea! How about a cell phone that doubles as a taser?

As an added benefit, it would serve as population control for idiots who were too stupid to use it correctly (thereby tasing themselves in the head). Talk about a twofer!

They already have that. They also have a fake cellphone that is actually a 5 round .38