Here I am, now entertain me

[Borndragon]

[user=177]LKTraz[/user] wrote:

Dear Beer Slaying Bitch,

Your fart comments are pretty low-class.

 

Dear Pillow Bitch,
I resemble that remark sir.......thank you

Now if you REALLY want low class.....let's talk shit.  I don't mean conversing in a derogatory manner either.  I mean let's discuss excrement.

Care to give it a go?

Aw fuck it.......I'll kick it off with this little gem:

Code:

SHIT LIST !!!
------------------------
THE GHOST SHIT
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but
there's no shit in the bowl.

THE CLEAN SHIT
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's
no shit on the toilet paper.

THE WET SHIT
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up
putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't
ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

THE SECOND WAVE SHIT
This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees,
and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.

THE BRAIN HEMORRAHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT
Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead Shit".
You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and
practically have a stroke.

THE CORN SHIT
o explanation necessary.

THE LINCOLN LOG SHIT
The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down
without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

THE NOTORIUS DRINKER SHIT
The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking.
It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the
toilet bowl after you flush.

THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD SHIT" SHIT-
The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out,
all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.

THE WET CHEEKS SHIT
Also known as the "Power Dump".  That's the kind that comes out of your
ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

THE LIQUID SHIT
That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt,
splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time,
chronically burns your tender poop-chute.

THE MEXICAN FOOD SHIT
A class all its own.

THE CROWD PLEASER
This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to
show it to someone before flushing.

THE MOOD ENHANCER
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby
allowing you to be your old self again.

THE RITUAL
This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with
the aid of a newspaper.

THE GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS SHIT
A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.

THE AFTERSHOCK SHIT
This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity
within the next 7 hours is affected.

THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" SHIT
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.

THE GROANER
A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

THE FLOATER
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to
resurface after many flushings.

THE RANGER
A shit which refuses to let go.  It is usually necessary to engage in
a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to
push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

THE PHANTOM SHIT
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to
putting it there.

THE PEEK-A-BOO SHIT
Now you see it, now you don't.  This shit is playing games with
you.  Requires patience and muscle control.

THE BOMBSHELL
A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either
inappropriate to shit (ie. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you
are nowhere near shitting facilities.

THE SNAKE CHARMER
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening
position - usually harmless.

THE OLYMPIC SHIT
This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive
event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the
Drinker's Shit.
THE BACK-TO-NATURE SHIT
This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the
woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.

THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN SHIT
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from
God when you actually CAN'T shit.

PREMEDITATED SHIT
Laxative induced.  Doesn't count.

SHITZOPHERENIA
Fear of shitting - can be fatal!

ENERGIZER vs DURACELL SHIT
Also known as a "Still Going" shit.

THE POWER DUMP SHIT
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when
you're done.

THE LIQUID PLUMBER SHIT
This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all
over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log
Shit.)

THE SPINAL TAP SHIT
The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to
be coming out sideways.

THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" SHIT
Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size
of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in
the rectum for some time afterwards.

THE PORRIDGE SHIT
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You
have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to
your butt while you sit there helpless.

THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" SHIT
When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your
rectum on the way out in the morning.

THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" SHIT
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and
make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" SHIT
Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn
anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently
near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gaggin and gasping for
air.

THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" SHIT
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop
off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.

The "TURBO-CHARGER" SHIT
You're sitting there, minding your business, so to speak, thinking
everything is normal, and suddenly there is a totally unexpected, yet
full and robust passing of wind, followed by more, perfectly normal  
shit. This typically results in a completely soaked behind.

Code:

THE FLOCK OF SEAGULLS SHIT
You drank some very yeasty beer the night before, you're driving along
the only stretch of freeway with no service station for the next 50kms,
you skid to a halt when you get there, drop your pants on your way in
to the trap, and there's an immediate explosion, followed by the
realization that there's a new mottled wall-paper on the wall behind
the bowl.

That Shit is classic N'shit.

Things to understand about the body pillow humping little soft touch that is
Middle Finger here, LK.

~ Set up Mock for the 'rougher' members from 24hourforums ( Forumgarden spin off, with some ex members from there) who couldn't seem to stop bashing the weaker members and breaking his stringent, neo-christian style
rules. Members like Sinister (a semi-abrasive, wannabe biker bitch from forum garden} and JackBoots ( an ex-Policewoman with a lot of care and never have seen her really bash anyone who didn't deserve it.) followed him
here and opened up shop. The initiation thread was taken over by Sin and she had the say as to when prospective members had had enough 'abuse'
and had proven themselves worthy of entering Mock. Thing is....Sinister nor most of the other members here really had that much experience in the game of bash and it showed. Along comes a shit talkin' fuck named Moose, who would have fit in nicely at BH with his racist, death threat, no holds bar bullshit, and insults the shit outta Mimi and others with pictures of strung up black folk. Remember Mimi came running to CRF spouting shit about the creepy badass she'd never seen the like of over at a place called Mock?
Anyways, TheKid and I came here to see what's up, which was that Moose
just happened to play in that one end of the field that MF doesn't like to
graze....the too gross, abrasive, gory, real life, internet death threat end of the field and Moose soon got himself banned for one too many pics of hanging nigga's. I stuck around, as this joint has reminded me of the early days of RR and have enjoyed watching the members here grow into
some grade A shit talkers to go along with their already great debates and conversations....with the exception of Middle Finger, who refuses to grow past the little boy hopping off and on the church steps shouting grade school obscenities on the down step and a little prayer for forgiveness on the up. Recently, Sinister's BikerBoy lover named Bullet, got released from the joint, bringing God with him and showing Sin the error of her ways for posting such hateful shit towards others here and she pissed off back to 24 and changed her name to Smooth. MF...being lazy as always, hasn't gotten around to taken her name off of some of the Mod spots, maybe as a candle
in the window symbol, in hopes she would return as he really sucks, as you can see, at running his own initiation thread. He is a lost little fuck, who I'm sure over half his posts here consist of single emoticons and single line
spamming tripe that gives himself a chuckle before skipping back to 24
to make sure nobody that's not in his clique there has cursed and gotten themselves banned.

Being the brunt of the Mocking now days, MF is seen less and less often here until he pops through to fuck with his own forum server and claim it's billing problems, hackers and viruses.

Bottom line...try not to scare the little fellow into thinking you're going to post any pics of poop, farts or lifes other spine-chilling shit that causes him to gag and run for the hills. He doesn't seem to know the difference between talking in jest and the real scary shit that grosses him out.

In all actuality, I believe MF has forgotten why he set up this site in the first place...no fire left in that little spark.

Someone go find him some new emoticons...



Borndragon ~ Too much info, LKTraz?