I lost my virginity to

[Maggot]

I have a machine that messes with my feet. It works great on calf muscles that I get cramps in. Just the other night a calf cramp visited me at about 3 am, well I watched Gomer Pyle and let that bitch of a machine do its work. I slept until 10am the next day and was pissed I wasn't up at 4am like usual. a Shitzoo or something like that. But it works great on my feet like a magic wand it erases any pain for a couple of days. Much like walking on feather pillows to the state lottery to claim my winnings.