I realize you guys don't give a shit about my tech "geek"...

[D]

I just had someone on another forum I posted this at ask me if that machine could be used as a server.

WTF?!?! Is he blind AND stupid?

100MHz 486 CPU...
10Mbit Ethernet...
8MB RAM...
"Disk-On-Chip" Flash HDD (Hard Disk Drive)...
And ANY 3.5" IDE HDD...

So yeah, it can be used as a VERY LOW END file server. Which was what it was made as. God people are idiots. He wanted to use it as a high end scripting (PHP/RubyOnRail/Perl) web server with database (MySQL) support.... wtf man!

I love idiots.