WTF is this happy crappy?

[LuciferLynn]

A fuckin mouthbreather was just at my office door, speaking thug and attempting to make contact with me. There are several things wrong with what I've just said. First, in order for anyone to be at my office door, you must open the door clearly marked "EMPLOYEES ONLY!!" and then traverse down the hall, and since we never employ mouthbreathers or thugs, I can only assume this guy is an illiterate fuck. Second, if you can't speak proper English to me, it's best if you just don't speak at all. It's for your own safety. Coming to my door, where you DON'T belong and saying "Ey!, KinI axe you sumpin?" is a surefire way to get your ass either tased, maced, or junk punched. No, you can't "axe me sumpin". You can take your ass back out front to front desk and axe THEM sumpin. Follow directions. Kindergarten 101 people. When you see a door marked "EMPLOYEES ONLY!!", unless you work there, I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to open that door.

And holy cow did he STANK! Like dirty diapers, farm animals and some sort of candy. Sweetarts, I think. Jesus Christ, what a stench.