Are you a good parent?

[username]

The way I see it is the love you feel for your own children is indescribable, and unless your parents were total dirt bags, they feel the same about you. So even though they're an old pain in the ass, you owe it to them to give that love back. You wouldn't put your kid in a nursing home, why would you do it to the person that loves you more than anything in the world.

Because it would feel weird to have to wipe and clean the crack of Dads ass?

I wouldn't bat an eye at doing that for my parents but I'd hate it if my kids had to do that for me.

Go figure.

[sally]

The way I see it is the love you feel for your own children is indescribable, and unless your parents were total dirt bags, they feel the same about you. So even though they're an old pain in the ass, you owe it to them to give that love back. You wouldn't put your kid in a nursing home, why would you do it to the person that loves you more than anything in the world.

Because it would feel weird to have to wipe and clean the crack of Dads ass?

Nurses will come in to do it. My grandma was fairly wealthy and her insurance still paid for a nurse to come in twice a day. When she got really sick hospice was there.

[username]

The way I see it is the love you feel for your own children is indescribable, and unless your parents were total dirt bags, they feel the same about you. So even though they're an old pain in the ass, you owe it to them to give that love back. You wouldn't put your kid in a nursing home, why would you do it to the person that loves you more than anything in the world.

Because it would feel weird to have to wipe and clean the crack of Dads ass?

Nurses will come in to do it. My grandma was fairly wealthy and her insurance still paid for a nurse to come in twice a day. When she got really sick hospice was there.

Yeah. My mom and her mom won't want for anything. My mom has already made all arrangements for my grandma and my mom could buy a small hospital and hire a private, live in nurse for the next fifty years if she wanted to. She'll do what she wants. Happy for her.

[Clang McFly]

The way I see it is the love you feel for your own children is indescribable, and unless your parents were total dirt bags, they feel the same about you. So even though they're an old pain in the ass, you owe it to them to give that love back. You wouldn't put your kid in a nursing home, why would you do it to the person that loves you more than anything in the world.

Because it would feel weird to have to wipe and clean the crack of Dads ass?

Not if you truly love them and remember they once wiped and cleaned your ass. I used to clean the poop/piss bucket of my mom's portable potty(Dad does it nowadays). And now that I'm living here I change my mom's bed every week, cook, clean, shop, mow the lawn.

[Cynical Ninja]

I visit my grandma a couple of times a week to draw out her pension and do her shopping. She has local authority carers visiting her four times a day to prepare her meals and clean the house.

My dad stated categorically he would never put her in a nursing home.

[ramseycat]

And my mother who refuses to go into a nursing home even though she has cancer.

Why would your mom want to go to a nursing home? Would you want to go to a depressing place that smells of shit and piss just because you had cancer?

This should go into "are you a good parent thread". If your kids don't throw you into a nursing home then you know you did something right.

My oldest brother wants to throw my mom in a nursing home. I'm not letting that happen.And not just because I would be out on the street if that happened. As annoying, nagging and demanding as my mom can be, I would never consign her to that fate(I lover her too much). My mom was in temporary rehab recently for her toe which had have amputated. She was going nuts and begging us to visit her practically every day. I wish I could have. I visited her at least once a week during the 4 weeks she was in there.

Once a FUCKING week? You don't work. Your fat ass should have been there every other day at least. You piss me off. No wonder you can't get laid. Grow some balls and get your life together. If I was your mother I would give you one week to get your ass out. Then the locks are being changed and the sheriff will be there for a civil stand by while you get your shit out. You will never make it on your own as long as your parents contine to enable you.

[Duchess]

I think he might be jerkin' your chain a little.

[Cynical Ninja]

Clang is definitely a bit of a wind up merchant but I increasingly believe he probably is the sad and tragic waste of flesh he portrays here.

[ramseycat]

The way I see it is the love you feel for your own children is indescribable, and unless your parents were total dirt bags, they feel the same about you. So even though they're an old pain in the ass, you owe it to them to give that love back. You wouldn't put your kid in a nursing home, why would you do it to the person that loves you more than anything in the world.

Because it would feel weird to have to wipe and clean the crack of Dads ass?

Nurses will come in to do it. My grandma was fairly wealthy and her insurance still paid for a nurse to come in twice a day. When she got really sick hospice was there.

So when she had a BM you let her sit in her own feces until the nurse got there to clean her up? Nice.

My mom does not want to move to GA. She does not want to move to MI by my sister. Going to the NH for a few weeks and then into assisted living is what's best for her. She is going into AL anyway and she is ok with that. But it's her decision on where she wants to live for now, so at home is where she is.

[ramseycat]

And while she is at home, I food shop for her, take care of the cats, do the wash, and bring her food. Well until meals on wheels starts doing that. The VN requested that. I didn't even know that was an option for her. A friend is going to take her cats next week. I just can't take them because of the dogs and they won't leave her alone. Even if I had room, my mom wouldn't want to live here. She is one of those cranky complaining old people. Plus she can't smoke in my house. And no Sally, I am not giving in on that point. She smokes so much that you can smell it at her front door. She has a beautiful townhouse that will have to be fumigated to put it on the market.

[Clang McFly]

I think he might be jerkin' your chain a little.

Sadly no. I was extra lazy while mom was in the rehab. Slept in more. Stayed up even later.

[Clang McFly]

Clang is definitely a bit of a wind up merchant but I increasingly believe he probably is the sad and tragic waste of flesh he portrays here.

A little bit of both yes. I take care of my mom and dad but sometimes fall short of their expectations and demands.

[aussiefriend]

I have now been pressured into going to Blockbuster video and getting the DVD of 'The Sound of Music' out. Just....just...don't.

[aussiefriend]

Regarding Aged Care Facilities. Studies show that assisted living is more conducive to quality of life as well as longevity of life. I have worked for the Community Dementia Team which supports those living with dementia living in their own homes and I have worked in Aged Care Facilities. Of course it is much better to promote independence in your own space.

I think it is a cop out for some families who do not step up to their responsibilities and they just shove their families into these institutions. I am not a fan of them except in extreme circumstances.

The fact is, they can have nurses to come around twice a day and give medications out, as well as nurses aids to assist with daily hygiene including wiping certain areas.

[username]

It all depends on the individual. My nana lived independently until she was 97 and then happily moved in to an assisted living facility. She has her "own" 2 bedroom apartment and enjoys the company she gets there.

My other grandma went straight from her home to a nursing facility when she was 99. She was miserable and died within a few months.

[sally]

They have some very nice ALF's, I wont be against living in one when I need it, but I don't want to go to a nursing home unless my condition is extreme. They are awful places, here anyway.

[ramseycat]

I guess we got lucky because Mike's place is very good. But then again it costs $11k a month. I have gotten to know all the nurses and aids. They are all very nice and take good care of him. I do a lot for him when I'm there to give them a break. I'm there so much other residents always think I work there.

Aussie, nurses and aids coming in are great. However, when a person has a BM in a diaper I doubt they want to wait until the aid gets there to wipe. Luckily my mom can still use the bathroom on her own.

[Adub]

I moved my mom in with me, good times. I cared for her for the last seven years of her life. She died in my arms in the hallway saying *****, *****, I need help. It was like nothing I could ever put into words. When I got to her she just collapsed. My oldest daughter was home, and I had her cradle grandma's head, and talk to her while I called 911. Her heart gave out on the way to the hospital, doa. It's been six years and I still feel so detached from the whole experience. I dream about her bitching at me because I gave her sweaters away to good will. She's like in the closet just flabbergasted because her clothes are all gone. And I am walking down the alley in my church shoes. Trying to get away.

[Maggot]

That's a tough one Adub........but don't feel alone, many people have done the same and lived to tell about it. At least you have dealt with it enough to talk about it.

[aussiefriend]

That's a tough one Adub

No its not. Thank God Adub never resorted to a smelly old peoples home. Just think of the nightmares.