MAKE A MOCK MATCH

[Clang McFly]

Another lazy, fat fuck who refuses to clean-up after himself!

Well I do all the cooking and food shopping, least she could do is wipe up some grease.

[Cynical Ninja]

Well I do all the cooking and food shopping

You truly are an American hero.

Most people do that and manage a full time job as well you fat fucknut.

[Clang McFly]

We both know that's never going to happen you fat unemployable wretch.

Its happening in the near future. Mom's been dropping not so subtle hints she wants me and my brother moved out "soon". Even suggested I go back to school to get a degree in plumbing, teaching, or cooking.

[Cynical Ninja]

I bet your mother is fucking sick to death of the sight of you and your brother.

You should have flown the nest permanently a long time ago and not kept on returning to the nest and covering it with various stains.

[BlueTiki]

I go back to school to get a degree in . . . cooking.

BAM!

She's telling you your cooking sucks.

[Clang McFly]

I go back to school to get a degree in . . . cooking.

BAM!

She's telling you your cooking sucks.

Quite the opposite. She tells me my cooking is so good I should go to school for it. She loved my moist, tender, marinated chicken breasts last night.

[Clang McFly]

I bet your mother is fucking sick to death of the sight of you and your brother.

Yeah, that must be why she wants me and my brother to come back and rake her leaves/mow the lawn after we move out and why she wants us to visit every holiday.

[Cynical Ninja]

my moist

Please I'm trying to fucking eat here fatboy.

[Cynical Ninja]

she wants us to visit every holiday to rake her leaves/mow the lawn.

Edited to reflect reality.

[BlueTiki]

Quite the opposite. She tells me my cooking is so good I should go to school for it.

If it is soooo good, why would she believe you need additional guidance in the culinary arts?

With you being such a lazy fuck, you'd never cut it as a chef . . . NEVER!

She also suggested you being a plumber.

I guess she recognizes a shit "expert" when she sees one, too?

[Mohammed]

That's true, NEVER!!

Anyway, in a Mock match I would obviously wrestle my Tiki all covered in Black and White Chocolate Mousse, Veuve Cliquot and Strawberries. HotD I would take on with an extra load of Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Duchess I would spray up with a whole bottle of Banana Boat before hunting her down across the Prairie, ending up stabbing the shit out of a bonfire like Costner in Dances with Wolves. user I would slap silly together with a Chateaubriand.

Now THAT's what it takes to be a Chef!

[Duchess]

[Cynical Ninja]

In case anyone is wondering the reason why colonel klink is suddenly all over this forum like a fart in a kebab shop its because its Ramadan.
His raghead overlords are too weak from fasting to check on him and he's slipped his restraints for a while.
Don't worry they will have him back on the bar belly dancing again in no time.

[HairOfTheDog]

That's true, NEVER!!

Anyway, in a Mock match I would obviously wrestle my Tiki all covered in Black and White Chocolate Mousse, Veuve Cliquot and Strawberries. HotD I would take on with an extra load of Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Duchess I would spray up with a whole bottle of Banana Boat before hunting her down across the Prairie, ending up stabbing the shit out of a bonfire like Costner in Dances with Wolves. user I would slap silly together with a Chateaubriand.

Now THAT's what it takes to be a Chef!

Post up a pic of your poolside birthday recovery session (the one with the Scotch flambeuing your nipples in the scorching sun, preferably), and I'll get suited up for the oil wrestling match.

If, against all odds, I'm not slippery enough to avoid being dominated by a spicy Hungarian, things could get mouth-wateringly messy though.

Ah, screw it, I'm all in. They sell Extra Born Again Virgin Oil somewhere, I'm sure. Redemption in a bottle!

[Mohammed]

Redemption in a bottle! What an awesome title to a song or day!!

Well, if all goes well there should be actually some new pool pics coming up in about a month or two. In the process!

[HairOfTheDog]

Redemption in a bottle! What an awesome title to a song or day!!

Well, if all goes well there should be actually some new pool pics coming up in about a month or two. In the process!

I've found a bit of destruction in a bottle a couple of times in my life; it seems fair that some redemption be available in the same packaging.

So, what's the topic of our virtual Mock match, Mo?

You name it. If I disagree with you, I'll take you down, oil and all (or go down trying). If I agree, I'll admit it and roll over and we can just compare notes.

What's on the menu?

[Mohammed]

Now it's actually rubbing up my eyes with the Sandman himself. Just put the little one to bed, big one sleeping too, and now all quiet and shortly I shall follow.

A topic for a virtual Mock match? I bet I'll wake up in the morning touching myself.

Right now no clue, but I bet in the morning it will come to me ... or you.

[FAHQTOO]

In case anyone is wondering the reason why colonel klink is suddenly all over this forum like a fart in a kebab shop its because its Ramadan.
His raghead overlords are too weak from fasting to check on him and he's slipped his restraints for a while.
Don't worry they will have him back on the bar belly dancing again in no time.

Could you be anymore fucking jealous of every man on here if you tried?

[Cynical Ninja]

Bwahahaha!

The day I am jealous of a fat austro/mongarian twat living in a dustbowl full of corrupt ragheads is the day you become physically attractive bitchflake.

Its not gonna happen!

[FAHQTOO]

Bwahahaha!

The day I am jealous of a fat austro/mongarian twat living in a dustbowl full of corrupt ragheads is the day you become physically attractive bitchflake.

Its not gonna happen!

You are jealous of every fucking man on this site, Go back and read your own shit.

The day I worry about you thinking I'm physically attractive will be never.

You, on the other hand, are at the bottom 3 of the fuck chain of Mock...and real life also, I'm sure.