the 2014 trivial drivel thread

[Duchess]

I'm strongly opposed to drinking anything green.

[crash]

How do you hang yourself from a doorknob?

They tie the rope to the door knob, then throw it over the top of the door and stand on something on the other side. Noose on, step off..

[Duchess]

Oh man.

[crash]

Yea that sounded weird to be too.

Someone's back to normal..

[FAHQTOO]

Yea that sounded weird to be too.

Someone's back to normal..

I noticed that a few days ago.

[FAHQTOO]

Yea that sounded weird to be too. I guess if there is a will, there is a way.

I'm taking bets to see who blows their money the fastest. Niece or nephew. My money is on the nephew. Although, I bet one of the first things niece does is get a boob job. Either way, don't come crying to me when you're broke.

Is everything said and done with the will now? Do you have to deal with that ex twat SIL anymore?

[Maggot]

I can deal with assholes that insists they are right
I can deal with women that are uptight
I can deal with deliveries that never get sent
I can deal with paying my rent.
I can deal with people on the street
I can deal with cars that go "beep"
But the thing that bugs me the most
and it took me six times to post.

Is the girl with the sassy ass
Running down the hall fanning her face yelling "hot flash, HOT FLASH!!!"


How the hell does a person respond to that?

[ramseycat]

Yea that sounded weird to be too. I guess if there is a will, there is a way.

I'm taking bets to see who blows their money the fastest. Niece or nephew. My money is on the nephew. Although, I bet one of the first things niece does is get a boob job. Either way, don't come crying to me when you're broke.

Is everything said and done with the will now? Do you have to deal with that ex twat SIL anymore?

Sigh. No. I have to administer the kids trust. For 6 years. Haven't heard anything from Jew Bitch lately. My attorney finally had enough of her screaming phone calls and her harassing his staff and notified her that the will and trust specifically say that Jew Bitch is to have no say or claim etc over how the estate and trust are administered. He told her that her antics and just causing issues and delays which will affect how quickly the kids get any money. She didn't like that but had stopped calling him. I wasn't going to take executers fees originally but have since changed my mind. If I have to deal with these kids for 6 more years and with what I've already put up with, I've earned it.

[FAHQTOO]

Yea that sounded weird to be too. I guess if there is a will, there is a way.

I'm taking bets to see who blows their money the fastest. Niece or nephew. My money is on the nephew. Although, I bet one of the first things niece does is get a boob job. Either way, don't come crying to me when you're broke.

Is everything said and done with the will now? Do you have to deal with that ex twat SIL anymore?

Sigh. No. I have to administer the kids trust. For 6 years. Haven't heard anything from Jew Bitch lately. My attorney finally had enough of her screaming phone calls and her harassing his staff and notified her that the will and trust specifically say that Jew Bitch is to have no say or claim etc over how the estate and trust are administered. He told her that her antics and just causing issues and delays which will affect how quickly the kids get any money. She didn't like that but had stopped calling him. I wasn't going to take executers fees originally but have since changed my mind. If I have to deal with these kids for 6 more years and with what I've already put up with, I've earned it.

It's good you don't have to deal with her legally anymore. I wonder how soon her daughter will tell her to fuck off when she starts trying to take her money.

Yes, you definitely earned it...and then some.

[Duchess]

I don't like that ex-SIL at all. I'd like to make her wear clothes from the dollar store & use cheap hair conditioner...for the rest of her life.

[ramseycat]

Cheap conditioner on her fake hair extensions.

[username]

Mr. Fish died yesterday and I'm sitting in a waiting room with my daughter waiting for her to go in for minor surgery.

I'm down to a dog...and two kids.

Hi fuckers.

[HairOfTheDog]

Hi boney-assed bitch.

What happened to the husband?

[username]

Hi boney-assed bitch.

What happened to the husband?

It's a goat's butt.

What husband? You mean that guy I see every now and then taking food out of the fridge and attempting to take advantage of his marital rights? That guy? I dunno...I suppose he's working; better be. Money has been flying out of the checking account lately. I've moved his retirement age to about 85 now.

[HairOfTheDog]

Shit, if something actually did happen to the husband, sorry about that question user.

Anyway, hope your daughter's surgery goes well.

P.s. I think you murdered the fish.

ETA: You calling me a goat's butt?! I take back the apology (and not only because it's no longer applicable.)

[Duchess]

Hi fuckers.

Hiya wiseass. I'd like to see a note from your lova explaining your absence. Every salacious detail would be good. Thanks!

[username]

We have a $2 million dollar life insurance policy on the old fart; just in case.

Nothing on me. I guess I'm worthless.

I did clean the aquarium the day before Mr . Fish died but I didn't do anything differently except Windex the inside.





j/k. I'm kind of irritated I wasted my time cleaning the damn tank just to have him die the next day. Plus I bought a 6 pack of filters instead of a 3 pack. BIG mistake. My husband plans to bury the fish. ( "it's the right thing to do") but he's been dead in there for a couple days now. I think he should get it done before the fish starts breaking in to little bits or something.

[BlueTiki]

Mr. Fish died yesterday and I'm sitting in a waiting room with my daughter waiting for her to go in for minor surgery.

Tubal ligation and sushi!

Mmmmm!

[username]

Mr. Fish died yesterday and I'm sitting in a waiting room with my daughter waiting for her to go in for minor surgery.

Tubal ligation and sushi!

Mmmmm!

*snicker*

Guess what's for dinner, kids!!!

I'd flush him or something but I still get shit for "burying our last guinea pig in the woods". I'm glad I didn't tell them the truth that I put him in a dumpster. No more aquarium fish. I'd get a betta fish or something but I'm done with filters and all that.

[username]

Hi fuckers.

Hiya wiseass. I'd like to see a note from your lova explaining your absence. Every salacious detail would be good. Thanks!

Absence... I blame my children and some weird middle aged clutter crisis that has come over me. We've been in the same damn house for over 20 years. I remodeled my daughter's room and then my son's. They look fucking cool if I do say so myself. I'll take some pics; my kids love what I did. Anyway, it spread. I've made at least a dozen trips to Goodwill in the last couple of months and my favorite evening activity is illegal dumping. Drawer by drawer , closet by closet and even the garage...last night I dumped a huge, old inflatable pool held together by duct tape. It was almost orgasmic although I was dumping at a church so that kind of took the edge off.

Getting rid of all the crap , I realize we really have a lot of storage room. I'm working on the kitchen now...no more junk drawers. I had 3.