the 2014 trivial drivel thread

[BlueTiki]

He has risen!!!!

Got Morning Wood, Maggot?

Without the pills?

[ramseycat]

I like morning wood.

[BlueTiki]

I like morning wood.

I gotta ask . . .

Without having your stylus, did you mean to type "mourning"?

[ramseycat]

I like morning wood.

I gotta ask . . .

Without having your stylus, did you mean to type "mourning"?

Pretty much. :/

[Maggot]

He has risen!!!!

Got Morning Wood, Maggot?

Without the pills?

Listen bitch............I said happy birthday to you and everything, now I'm back too hating you with all my might again.

And just for the record, when I'm measuring my wife's legs and arms with my tape measure, she knows I have something planned for later...

[Duchess]

Ooo la la.

[Duchess]

That's a good "something", right?

...maybe I spoke too soon.

[Maggot]

[ramseycat]

Shit. My dishwasher is leaking into the basement. I turned it off. Called the home warranty people. A plumber will come out tomorrow. They said the drain in the dishwasher is probably clogged. Thank God I have a home warranty and it will only cost me $75.

On the plus side. I close on my NY house Thursday. My last tie to NY. It will be nice to only have 1 mortgage payment.

[crash]

I wonder if user went to Coachella this year...maybe that's where she's been?

[Maggot]

I think she tied herself into a yoga knot and is stuck hopping around on one leg someplace.

[ramseycat]

SON OF A BITCH! Someone was banging on the front door. I answer it thinking maybe it's important. Ya know because of the banging. And it's those fucking religion people. I believe in God. I'm a Christian. I do not however go door up foor pedaling my religion and I said those exact fucking words to them.

[Maggot]

Daughter of Satan!!!!

[Duchess]

Hahaha!

Kinda surprised they were in your community, Ramsey. I bet they didn't last long.

[ramseycat]

I know. They had the nerve to ask if any of my neighbors would be interested. I don't fucking know. And I'm certainly not going to piss them off by sending them over there.

[crash]

I do not however go door up foor pedaling my religion and I said those exact fucking words to them.

Still no stylus, Jenny?

I bet they'd've moved on quick if you had said that literally; the ones religious enough to knock on doors don't usually welcome mongs to the flock. No potential enhancement to the collection plate to be found there.

[ramseycat]

I don't know where MJ took my stylus. She is a stinker! Into everything.

[HairOfTheDog]

I do not however go door up foor pedaling my religion and I said those exact fucking words to them.

Still no stylus, Jenny?

I bet they'd've moved on quick if you had said that literally; the ones religious enough to knock on doors don't usually welcome mongs to the flock. No potential enhancement to the collection plate to be found there.

"Door up foor". I like it and can picture rams in a huff, screaming it at the religious "pedalers".

They probably dropped their church pamphlets right back into their bicycle baskets and peddled on over to the next house as fast as they could...

[Maggot]

Before my wife went to work she would engage the bible thumpers in philosophical arguments because she was bored, until one day I came home and said "get off my porch" they still come over and yap but when they see me coming they scat.

[HairOfTheDog]

When we were little, the religious recruiters used to go door up foor in our neighborhood all the time handing out Watchtower booklets and wanting to discuss the sermons.

I don't know why my mom couldn't just tell them to beat it, like ramsey did. Instead, she'd close the blinds, call out "church ladies!", and my sisters and I had to freeze and not say a word until the knocking stopped.

When I was 21, I lived with my sister and my little nephew for a while. My sister is very outspoken and can be downright scary. It surprised me when she did the same damn thing. Huddled up under the stairway with my nephew, it hit me how insane the practice was -- never questioned it before then -- it's just what we did. I could see my sister crouched in the bathroom doorway and started laughing at her with my hand over my mouth. The church ladies left, but we couldn't stop laughing for the longest time.

The next time one of them came knocking, my sister let me break the cycle and tell them that we weren't interested and never would be. They still kept coming, and they kept getting the same "we're not interested" answer - no need for a covert operation inside the house.

Today, my nephew loves it when the missionaries go to his door and likes to engage with religious zealots on the internet. He'll talk and debate with them for hours. Go figure.