ARE YOU COMPETITIVE?

[Duchess]

I am and I grew up making most things a competition with my brothers. Who doesn't like to win, everyone likes success, right?

There is a field day coming up at a school and parents are being urged to tamper their kids competitiveness.

[cannongal]

I volunteered at the field day festivities in my brats elementary school for years. As a volunteer, we were told that the purpose of field day is to run the little brats ragged and wear them out. The games weren't set up as "win or lose" they were set up to keep the kids moving.


As far as being competitive, there is absolutely nothing wrong with competition. How does one get ambition to better themselves with out competition.

My youngest played soccer through out elementary school, they never kept scores at the games and it was an "every one wins" attitude. They all got a trophy at the end of the season (even the ones that never took the field during a game) It drove me batshit crazy, because the kids that actually deserved recognition, never got any except for having their name called to go up and get their "everyone wins" trophy.

I can tell you for a fact that my kid didn't deserve a trophy (unless you get a trophy for flirting with the girls on the sideline, because that's all the boy did during the games :p )

[Duchess]

there is absolutely nothing wrong with competition. How does one get ambition to better themselves with out competition.

I agree with this & I don't understand at all this new way of doing things. I don't get the premise of shielding children from disappointment.

[crash]

It's because some fucktards try to atone their own childhood disappointment through their children. I've seen it first hand, it's not a pretty thing.

I believe in healthy competition. How you promote that whilst also promoting the benefits of participation, I don't know, but that would be the pipe dream.

[thekid65]

This is one of the many things wrong with our schools today. And what's really scary is that these kids will someday be running this country.

[HairOfTheDog]

This is one of the many things wrong with our schools today. And what's really scary is that these kids will someday be running this country.

I don't like the "everybody's an equal winner!" philosophy when it comes to competition -- makes no sense to me.

Why not just give the kids who take the time to show up a certificate of participation, and give the ones who excel performance trophies/awards?

But, you do realize that the "what's really scary is that these kids will someday be running this country" line has been mumbled by grumpy stains in regards to the next generation forever, right?

Are you pulling the waistband of your trousers up around your nipples yet, Kid?

[BlueTiki]

Why not just give the kids who take the time to show up a certificate of participation, and give the ones who excel performance trophies/awards?

I like: Why not just give the kids who take the time to show up a certificate of participation, and give the ones who excel performance an agent and lucrative endorsement contracts?

Real world training.

[thekid65]

This is one of the many things wrong with our schools today. And what's really scary is that these kids will someday be running this country.

I don't like the "everybody's an equal winner!" philosophy when it comes to competition -- makes no sense to me.

Why not just give the kids who take the time to show up a certificate of participation, and give the ones who excel performance trophies/awards?

But, you do realize that the "what's really scary is that these kids will someday be running this country" line has been mumbled by grumpy stains in regards to the next generation forever, right?

Are you pulling the waistband of your trousers up around your nipples yet, Kid?

No, not yet. I'm in the calf-high socks and sandals stage of life at the moment.

True, grumpy old fucks have been saying what I've said for ages, but never have we, as a country, raised such a group of self-entitled, dont-know-how-to-lose bunch of brats in our history. You, as someone who generally works for them self, do not see this. But believe me...it's rearing its ugly head in the work force, and it's awful.

It scares me to think how this generation will be running our country, and the amount of money that will be spent on welfare and the like...as certainly anybody in need, whether it's their fault or not, will not have to do without...

[Carsman]

This is one of the many things wrong with our schools today. And what's really scary is that these kids will someday be running this country.

What is even scarier, is the fact that "these kids" will someday be required to "defend" our country! Can't imagine many of today's wimpy kids in the future being in the military, playing it doesn't matter, we're not keeping score! This country is in real trouble.

(not to mention, our country has been doomed by the big "O"!)

(And yes, I was competitive when I was younger, now, not so much)

[Duchess]

My youngest played soccer through out elementary school, they never kept scores at the games and it was an "every one wins" attitude. They all got a trophy at the end of the season (even the ones that never took the field during a game) It drove me batshit crazy

Did other parents share your opinion? I'm curious to know where that "everyone wins" attitude has come from. I know it's kinda prevalent these days.

[aussiefriend]

There is so much competition in my profession. I am not competitive yet I think that some people think that I am because I continue to research and study. I am wanting to deliver best practice and be very good at my job. I also want to provide for my family, but I wouldn't say I am greedy or ambitious at all. However, I am surrounded by power trips and people trying to climb the bureaucratic ladder. I can't relate to competition, I just like being myself, living easy, being me. Am I crazy?

[cannongal]

Did other parents share your opinion? I'm curious to know where that "everyone wins" attitude has come from. I know it's kinda prevalent these days.[/i][/size]

I'm not sure what the other parents thought of it. I never really talked to them about that subject.

Truth be told, it really didn't bothering me until the second or third grade. That's when I started noticing the differences in abilities. There were some kids that truly put effort into the practices and games, and others (like my brat) who were there just to socialize.

I did talk to the coach once about it though, and he said all the kids were recognized for their efforts, because "it's all about having fun".

I do notice that there is a lot of rivalry between High School sports teams up here, and those that excel are recognized individually, so maybe it's just Elementary sports that are supposed to be fun?

[thekid65]

Out of curiosity, cannongal, was this a school sponsored league? Or an outside of school thing. If it was outside, didnt you have the choice to go somewhere else for your kid to play soccer..you know, one where it's taught that if you practice hard, and work for it, you can be a winner?

When I was 13 or so, I refereed soccer in a city league. I basically refereed kids from 2^nd to 6^th grade. It was funny as hell watching the real young kids play...the whole field of kids moved to the ball, there wasn't any passing, strategy, or the like. But...there WAS a winner and loser...and ya know what, all the kids seemed to have a good time.. and win or lose, coaches normally took the kids out for ice cream, or whatever, after the game.

I get it...at that age (really young) it really is supposed to be about fun for the kids....but a coach can also teach a basic work ethic at the same time.

[cannongal]

Out of curiosity, cannongal, was this a school sponsored league? Or an outside of school thing. If it was outside, didnt you have the choice to go somewhere else for your kid to play soccer..you know, one where it's taught that if you practice hard, and work for it, you can be a winner?

It was partly sponsored by the school. I hope I can explain this right, the towns Recreation department organized it, the town is very small, so the rec dept is a one man show, he is also the gym teacher at the school. All the practices and most of the games were hold on school grounds, as well as the "Awards Banquet".

There was(is) a county sponsored league as well, but it was $300.00 per season (back then) and included traveling all over the place, as opposed to the $35.00 the town rec dept was charging.

[HairOfTheDog]

When I was 13 or so, I refereed soccer in a city league. I basically refereed kids from 2^nd to 6^th grade. It was funny as hell watching the real young kids play...the whole field of kids moved to the ball, there wasn't any passing, strategy, or the like. But...there WAS a winner and loser...and ya know what, all the kids seemed to have a good time.. and win or lose, coaches normally took the kids out for ice cream, or whatever, after the game.

When they were in elementary school, my nephew played Little League and my niece played girl's softball. I used to love watching their games -- they were fun and hysterical.

I don't remember any overbearing, screaming parents in the bleachers at the basketball games, but there were always a couple, at least, at the Little League games. I'm talking seriously wound-up parents (moms and dads) screaming at their kids while they were still on the field about how to play and what they should have done if they made an error...

And, Jesus Christ, if the ump made what they considered a questionable or wrong call, there were some major shit fits (I kept telling my sister to knock it off, but no....).

Have you ever seen that opposite end of the spectrum in-person; where the parents are so irrationally ultra-competitive that you cringe for their kids and the officials? That definitely lessened the fun at times.

I think you're right that it shouldn't be hard to focus on the fun AND encourage healthy competition simultaneously, but some parents think every move their kids make is a winner-move and others make their kids feel like losers for not playing like professionals at age 10.

[thekid65]

Funny you mention that HoTD. My Dad managed my little league baseball team I was on for a period of 5 years or so. We always had a good team, and even advanced to regional play for the LLWS. Never made it very far though. Anyhoo, as much as my Dad was a positive influence on the kids, and never came unglued at umps or kids, or anyone for that matter..the one memory that sticks out in my head was a ground ball I fielded in a very close game. I fielded the ball at second base, and just completely whiffed on the toss to first..not even close...ball sailed, runner advanced to 2^nd, and a run or two scored.

Dad got up, yelled my name, pointed at me...and said "YOU"!!! It was the first, and only time he yelled at me in front of the team, parents, and opposing team. I was so embarrassed, and it actually brought me to tears. After the inning, the assistant managers consoled me...and hell, I think Dad even apologized after the game.

Like I said, 5 years of managing the teams I was on, and never a bad word said publicly, and we always had good teams...but yet, that is the memory that sticks out in my head. So yeah, overbearing parents suck...couldn't imagine if stuff like that had happened to me on a regular basis.

[HairOfTheDog]

Sounds like your dad was a good guy, engaged and vested (and human), but not generally overbearing.

Do you think you're competitive as an adult, Kid?

I compete with myself and can be hard on myself -- I always wanna do better than I have in the past, especially in areas where I know that I'm weak. I fail often in that regard.

I don't see myself as competitive with others generally, outside of contests where that's the whole point. But, I've been told by people who know me well that I can sometimes come across as competitive.

One thing that I know for sure, if I've had fun or learned something, I never sweat not coming out on top in comparison to others.

[thekid65]

Oh yeah...pretty darned competitive...that's a fact. At the same time, I know my limitations, and what I'm good at. I don't like to lose, but do so motivates me to work harder, especially if it's something I enjoy doing. I do not let my competitiveness ruin my fun though, as a rule. The only time that happens is when I know I didnt give it my best effort. But sometimes, the other guy is just flat out better than you, and one needs to learn to accept that fact.

[sally]

My son has been in every sport you can think of throughout the years and the most nerve wrecking one is bowling if you can believe that. No one gets coddled, you either win or you lose and if it's a pattern that some other kid who normally sucks happens to be lucky on then you get fucked. I watched him surf, football, basketball, soccer, golf, skate board etc.... and never have I bit my nails down to bloody stumps like watching one on one bowling.

Even my sons wrestling coach who substitutes as the bowling coach said he's never had to watch anything so painful as two kids competing for 1^st place in bowling.

[FAHQTOO]

My son has been in every sport you can think of throughout the years and the most nerve wrecking one is bowling if you can believe that. No one gets coddled, you either win or you lose and if it's a pattern that some other kid who normally sucks happens to be lucky on then you get fucked. I watched him surf, football, basketball, soccer, golf, skate board etc.... and never have I bit my nails down to bloody stumps like watching one on one bowling.

Even my sons wrestling coach who substitutes as the bowling coach said he's never had to watch anything so painful as two kids competing for 1^st place in bowling.

Been there and done that with my son and bowling. I feel your pain...

He finally got his first 300 this year. I wasn't there to see but I'm pretty sure that was the highlight of his life second to the birth of his daughters.