@USERNAME -- CATCH UP, FRENCH FRY!

[HairOfTheDog]

I miss you and I'm happy to see your boney ass back here.

Here's what you missed:

-CN and kevvome both pulled up their skirts and skipped the eff outta here, tears rolling down their rosy cheeks. Apparently, Mock is way too politically skewed and mean for their likings and they just couldn't hang -- the internet is serious biz. It's a cruel, cruel world -- no doubt.

-Sally is on the road with the family.

-Mo's an old goat! (Gawd, I hope that sexy beast records and posts another strip tease video.)

-Aussie is slippin' into those pleather pants she's so proud of and pretending not to notice Cutz, who's allegedly got a thing for the cougar down under.

-MS is in the midst of another one of his "moody' spells. This too shall pass.

- Cars is cruising along, rubbing our noses in his "I'm retired and you're still working, suckahs!" reality.

-FAHQTOO is dating a guy who seems cool, though he just might have an issue with balance (in terms of nipple hickage).

-Duchess is on a mission to prove that the toe-ring is still stylish and sexy. So far, she's got a thumbs-up from Gunnar; everyone else has been mum.

-Baldawg might just have balls. Looks promising -- remains to be seen.

-Mags is...well, as good as it gets -- nobody does it better. I love him, but I think it's a one way street. That bitch JLH has him hypnotized or something. Who the eff could compete with those feet?

-Crash and The Kid -- never post enough for my liking.

-Tiki's off for the moment -- I always miss the smartass bitch. Seems she and the noob ChicagoBorn may have some history. Whether CB is a he or she is beyond me, but I don't give a shit -- he/she is kinda interesting.

-Teacher and blueberryhill and OlderThanDirt mostly just read, shake their heads, and laugh at us while we wish they'd post more. Mock teases -- all three of them.

-QueenBee got a couple of cool new pets and Zero hasn't posted in a bit, nor has Mr. McFly.

-Donovan's not been around much since he and Tiki had the Conservative vs. Liberal gay/black confrontation in the NFL thread. I think I might have added to the discord with my overly aggressive Scooby Doo and behavioral psychologist/cartoon villain references. I'm almost ashamed of myself.

-JsMom is hanging and laughing -- probably drunk on that blue love potion she digs. I think I'm gonna try that shit one night this summer. I don't care what you say about her, I'd party with Js any old day (except holidays, loved ones' birthdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Sundays, and the 4^th of each month).

-Gunnar's still wearing the skull boxerz...he posted a slideshow and audio of his band performing a BeeGees cover in his Mosh Pit thread. Maurice and Robin are rolling in their graves. Barry's pissed. But, Gunnar and company are actually quite good, IMO.

-Adub thinks she's above us -- effin' emo snob.

-RAP and Jezreel and HarveySykes may have their hands too full with little ones to post; hopefully, they can check in soon.

-NightOwl flew the coop -- I miss her. Cheyne still posts some good thoughts in the crime forum when she has time, though.

-F.U. and ESAD have both been AWOL as of late; it can only mean they're up to no good.

-Six is juggling a plethora of hobbies and fantasizing about Duchess.

Tammy just wants some finger lickin' good chicken -- I suspect she'll make the dream a reality soon (though I'd skip the breaded bird and dive straight into the mashed potatoes and biscuits, personally).

-FunkyBurger is a NSA operative, I suspect -- he only monitors Mock for national security purposes -- no posting permitted.

-Ramsey seems content, financially secure, horny (I HATE that word, but its accurate)... sometimes chiming in about how weird it is that people get all up into drama (that, from rams, always makes me smile).

That's it. So, you're all caught up. Post -- you are really really missed!

[Duchess]

-Duchess is on a mission to prove that the toe-ring is still stylish and sexy. So far, she's got a thumbs-up from Gunnar; everyone else has been mum.

Nah, not a mission. I'm the only one that has to find my cutesy lil' toe rings cute, no random female in cyberspace gets to tell me what's passe'. Those bitches don't listen to me when I tell them that wearing two sizes too big Hello Kitty t-shirts don't work in disguising their fat asses.

[HairOfTheDog]

I know -- I think you'd be bored if nobody poked you and that's the only thing I had to poke.

Truthfully, I think toe rings are alright -- my (1 year) older sister wears them -- they look great. She's always well put together.

I'm on call til 6 a.m., then I get to sleep til noon and have fun all day. Just a couple of hours more -- in the meantime, I'm just moseying and poking (and kicking some butt at on-line Scrabble)!

[Duchess]

I think you'd be bored if nobody poked you

...out of my mind bored. When that happens I'm usually moved to run around Mock instigating bs. I don't have to mean anything I say, I'm only looking for a reaction. Kaboom reactions are the best, they make me happy.

[Duchess]

...I thought you might just be getting home. One more person who has a more exciting nightlife than I do.

[HairOfTheDog]

...I thought you might just be getting home. One more person who has a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Oh, I definitely have a more exciting nightlife than you, just not this particular night!!

[Duchess]

I definitely have a more exciting nightlife than you

Everybody does! Including seniors living in retirement communities.

[HairOfTheDog]

I definitely have a more exciting nightlife than you

Everybody does! Including seniors living in retirement communities.

Hey, that's literally where I am some of those more exciting nights. Truly. Living the dream here.

So, do you think username is naked right now, or is that sexy bitch doing the shorts/tee thing?

I think she's naked -- her posts tonight kinda have that nude vibe. IMO. JMO.

(Yep, I'm dragging and poking -- but, soon I get to be dropping.)

[SIXFOOTERsez]

-Duchess is on a mission to prove that the toe-ring is still stylish and sexy. So far, she's got a thumbs-up from Gunnar; everyone else has been mum.

Nah, not a mission. I'm the only one that has to find my cutesy lil' toe rings cute, no random female in cyberspace gets to tell me what's passe'. Those bitches don't listen to me when I tell them that wearing two sizes too big Hello Kitty t-shirts don't work in disguising their fat asses.

I'll give Duchess' toe ring a thumbs up, as is so an anyone with good looking feet.
If your toes can rival Godzilla, not so much

[Duchess]

So, do you think username is naked right now, or is that sexy bitch doing the shorts/tee thing?

Shorts/tee. She's so tiny she needs the warmth, not to mention they can be used as some kind of parachute when a big gust of wind tries to blow her away.

[ramseycat]

Toe rings bug me. My tootsies don't like them. It feels like I got something stuck between my toes and that feeling never goes away.

[QueenBee]

Yea...my rats want to say hello

[Carsman]

Nice save HotD!

[username]

-Duchess is on a mission to prove that the toe-ring is still stylish and sexy. So far, she's got a thumbs-up from Gunnar; everyone else has been mum.

I'm the only one that has to find my cutesy lil' toe rings cute....

That's good! Seriously, who gives a fuck if everyone else is laughing at you? You go, Duchess.

[username]

.....or is that sexy bitch doing the shorts/tee thing?

That's me to a tee right now (although I'd drop the sexy part). It wasn't a nightmare...

Somewhere around 2am this 15 year old kid told me to come see something RIGHT NOW!! I zombied out of bed to find that yes, there are indeed 100's of little God knows what mini spiders (I'm pretty sure they're spiders--they have 8 legs as far as I can tell without my spectacles) marching around my upstairs, hallway ceiling. I've been googling and trying to get one of the fuckers without completely smashing it to take over to the local nursery to identify it so I can promptly kill the entire lot (there's a lesson in here about the middle east...).

We need a giant, crazy muslim vacuum. Without going to the nursery yet, my initial research results tell me to vacuum them all up in to eternity as a start. It makes sense. It's a hell of a lot easier to vacuum the suckers off a dry wall as opposed to one that's plastered with wet, dead spiders. One poster suggested Pledge to keep them away. I dunno. Most of the time, I want something that won't kill my children along with the spiders so natural sounds good. I also don't want something that's going to drip down the walls all over my carpet (key). Wish me luck.

[username]

-F.U. and ESAD have both been AWOL as of late; it can only mean they're up to no good.

FU is probably chained up by 6 fat motorcycle chicks who are taking turns gang raping him...and loving every minute.

ESAD...I didn't like that girlfriend from the start.

[username]

CN has always been competitive with Dick. His brief period of posting was a mistake; he's been trying to out-pussy Dick and lost in a moment of weakness. He's hoping to regain some of his pussy stature by departing yet again and it's worked. A little bit. Dick is still the bigger pussy though.

[Duchess]

Seriously, who gives a fuck if everyone else is laughing at you? You go, Duchess.

I know! I know! My critters must point & laugh every time I leave the room. Oh gawd. This is how a complex starts.

[Maggot]

Chickens like spiders. throw a couple in the attic for a few days.

[HairOfTheDog]

I'll give Duchess' toe ring a thumbs up, as is so an anyone with good looking feet.

She's too modest to show them off, but I've got a pic of Duchess' pretty feet.



The toe rings are a nice touch -- I agree.

Nice save HotD!

I almost forgot to give you shit, but only for a minute or two.