911? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!

[HairOfTheDog]

A thread for amusing 911 calls



^ 53-year-old William McDaniel was outraged. He was at the strip joint and gave a pretty little philly $350 for a private dance. When he started getting all sexually aggressive, she pulled away. At which point, he thought to himself, "WTF?!, my wallet's fat and I STILL can't get a piece -- it ain't right!"

Well, hey, it's gotta suck when you can't get a stripper to let you do her in Butte on a Saturday night.

So, naturally, Willy called 911 to report the woman for rejecting his advances and the cops high-tailed it straight over to Sagebrush Sam's strip joint in Butte, Montana where -- despite Willy's mansplaining and the stripper being such a tease and all -- he was arrested on-the-spot for solicitation of prostitution.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/20...weird-news

If this guy wasn't wasted outta his mind (and even if he was, really) he's one sorry dipshit.

[ramseycat]

Dumbass.

[Duchess]

How about a Mom who calls 911 after discovering porn on her television -

A disgusted South Carolina mom called cops after discovering that her 15-year-old son had been watching porn on the living room television.

Real estate agent Chavonda Gallman dialed 911 shortly after returning to her Spartanburg home with her 2-year-old daughter and a client on Tuesday afternoon.

The 40-year-old's son was reportedly in his bedroom when his little sister switched on the TV.

As the channel hadn't been changed, sex scenes were allegedly played out.

Gallman told police that she "immediately turned off the TV" and took her daughter out of the room before calling for help.

Story

[HairOfTheDog]

Women are always getting men in trouble.



^ Doyle Hardwick was tired of his little woman wanting to sit next to him; the man just wanted to check his Facebook in peace for Christ's sake.

So, he plied her with 8 beers and ordered her to go to bed. But, Mrs. Hardwick stood her ground and stayed planted on the sofa right next to her man.

Well, Doyle had had just about enough of that shit. He called the cops to report that his wife wouldn't got to bed like she was supposed to -- and he stayed on the line til they arrived at the couple's trailer. As to why he called 911, Hardwick told the deputy, "I just wanted someone to make my wife do what I wanted her to do."

Doyle the dolt was charged with misusing the 911 system and did 60 days in a Florida jail after failing to appear and having a warrant issued.

He'd previously called 911 to request a free ride to his daughter's house and to report neighbors for shitting in old fuel tanks.

http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2...d_chec.php

[Cutz]

To be fair, Doyle was relying on LE's motto of to protect and serve.

[HairOfTheDog]

This one is classic. Cop and wife thinking they're ODing on pot brownies; he'd stolen the pot from people he'd busted.



"Send rescue, I think we're dead!"

Even the news anchors can't keep a straight face.

[Maggot]

That's hilarious!

[Duchess]

"Send rescue, I think we're dead!"

That's as funny as it was the first time I listened to it.

[HairOfTheDog]

To be fair, Doyle was relying on LE's motto of to protect and serve.

Yeah, that motto is pretty vague and can lead to false expectations -- it's almost like entrapment.

Just ask Jarvis Sutton.



Mr. Sutton, 34, was arrested for misusing the 911 system in St. Petersberg, Florida last year.

He'd called 911 80 times trying to get police to deliver and serve him Kool-aid, burgers and weed.

http://i0.huffpost.com/gen/1115769/thumb...-large.jpg

[Blindgreed1]

This one is classic. Cop and wife thinking they're ODing on pot brownies; he'd stolen the pot from people he'd busted.



"Send rescue, I think we're dead!"

Even the news anchors can't keep a straight face.

[HairOfTheDog]

No Cuddles for Duddles :(



Meet Benjamin Duddles, 47, of Wisconsin.

He recently got stoned and called 911 four times in 37 minutes because he was hard up for some sexual healing; Duddles propositioned both female and male dispatchers and was DENIED.  

However, police were dispatched to his home where they found a pipe and some marijuana.  He was busted for misdemeanor drug and phone misuse charges.

Duddles made the news for another 911 call back in 2013.  He was apparently doing better with the ladies back then.

He'd gone out drinking and brought a woman home.  After they had sex, she fell asleep.  The woman had sleep apnea and Duddles was unable to wake her or sleep himself.

So..............he called 911 and asked police to come and remove her from his bed because "she's snoring like a train and I want her out."  He didn't get in any trouble that time though -- the dispatcher informed him that it was not an emergency or a police matter.  

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...l-him.html

[Maggot]

"She's snoring like a train"............