CHRISTMAS CRAP

[Duchess]

I'm finally starting to get excited about the holidays. I'm even excited planning my brunch.

Do you travel for the holiday or plan a lovely day at home with presents, great food & booze.

Dick will be roasting a goat in the ground. Merry Christmas, fuck face. I've missed you.

[HairOfTheDog]

I'm about ready to jump in the shower so we can go get a live mini-Christmas tree. That'll probably make me feel more festive.

I'm still gonna put out my sad little tree-o-twigs, but the niece wants a real one and she's been more nice than naughty this year, so a tree she shall have.

I'll be going down south for Christmas to visit my family and a couple of old friends. My niece is flying down several days ahead of me, after her semester ends, and staying with her family for 10 days. I like having a few days or more of alone time at home a couple of times a year.

Think I'm gonna drive the truck down, but can't stay more than a couple of days due to work. Hopefully the traffic won't be too bad.



P.s. Merry Christmas, Dick, you shitbird!

[Midwest Spy]

My wife, kids and I host my family on Sunday the 21^st.

She loves cooking and playing host. My brother and brother-in-law eat like pigs. Kinda fun to watch.

Christmas Eve we go to her folks' place. Eat and open presents. We come back to our place that evening, so kids can do Christmas morning (Santa) at our house. Later that day we head to her Grandma's place for a aunt/uncle/cousin get together.

It's a lot of fun and it all goes way too fast.

[SIXFOOTERsez]

We have Thanksgiving at our house and her cousin hosts for christmas. She will spend Christmas eve with her mom and dad, I'll be working most likely, then frying a turkey for a party with some friends.

[cannongal]

The closest decent mall is over an hour away. I took the Boys there Saturday to do some Shopping, my son insisted he had to get his girlfriend a certain CD that could only be found at the mall.

I hate malls at Christmas. Russians in kiosks spraying perfume at you or trying to flat iron your hair, Mediterranean people that tell you you need a bottle of pubic hair moisturizer. Parents that stand in line for hours, so they can stick their kid on some old guys lap and watch them shriek in terror. Good times, I tell you, good times.

I made the mistake of going over to the Hickory Farms kiosk. I was giddy enough to buy $200.00 worth of smoked sausage & cheese spread. I have no idea why I thought I needed that much sausage & cheese spread, but damn I got it now.

The step daughter handed me a list of toys that the grandbrats supposedly want for Christmas. I never knew that 4 & 6 year olds were desperate for video games that are rated M to be used on a PS4 console that the kids aren't even allowed to use.

I told her I was all done shopping for the grandbrats & nothing I bought them was on the list. She says 'well we told them that you guys were going to buy this stuff for them, they will be disappointed if they don't get anything on their list'. I told her they'd better get used to being disappointed, as both their parents SUCK. She hasn't bothered me in a week now. Oh the bliss.

[Duchess]

She says 'well we told them that you guys were going to buy this stuff for them, they will be disappointed if they don't get anything on their list'.

My jaw may have dropped when I read that. Who says this shit! She doesn't know the meaning of Christmas and she's in the process of passing that on to her children.

Ignore this if you wish...what's an example of a present she gifts you & her Dad with? Is she a thoughtful person?

[cannongal]

She says 'well we told them that you guys were going to buy this stuff for them, they will be disappointed if they don't get anything on their list'.

My jaw may have dropped when I read that. Who says this shit! She doesn't know the meaning of Christmas and she's in the process of passing that on to her children.

Ignore this if you wish...what's an example of a present she gifts you & her Dad with? Is she a thoughtful person?

oh, I could write a book on what shitty parents they are. My hubs birthday was in October, as a birthday present for him, she got herself a tattoo that said Daddy's girl.

I can't tell you where things went wrong. What I can tell you is that hubby's first wife walked out on him and 3 kids when his youngest was 2. She told him she couldn't handle being a mother anymore, emptied the bank account and took off with a trucker. I've heard from family members that hubs always put his kids first, he doted on them & made sure they had what they needed even if he had to go without. Hell, he didn't even start dating again until the youngest was 14.

His oldest (a boy) would rather drink all day than be a productive member of society. He's lived in a homeless shelter for the past few year.

The middle one (the step daughter referenced above) is married to a 30 year old guy with no teeth, who plays video games all day. She works full time, but hands her paycheck over to him, which he spends on himself. They've been evicted out of 8 places in the last 5 years and currently live in a fleabag hotel

The youngest couldn't tell the truth to save her life. She hasn't talked to us in a year or so because I asked her to apply for medicaid when she got pregnant. I felt that her father shouldn't have to pay for that fact that she couldn't be bothered to use a condom, but she was perfectly happy to let all the bills go to her father. We finally got her off of our insurance last month, but we still got to pay the $6,000.00 deductible.


The hubs is the most caring, compassionate human being I have ever met, but he manged to produce 3 very self serving children.

[username]

I jumped out of bed like a cat on fire yesterday morning with the horrifying realization that Christmas was only 11 days away. I hadn't even booked our flights to Wisconsin much less purchased any gifts, cards etc.

I got a lot done yesterday--except for gift shopping. I plan to do some online shopping today.

Amazingly, my husband got a tree for our house and put some lights up this past weekend. My son was sniveling about going to Wisconsin and not having any Christmas here so now he's got something. I'm not breaking out any other decorations but tree ornaments though. Screw that.

It's been two hours now and the hummingbird is STILL flying around in my garage.

[Duchess]

The hubs is the most caring, compassionate human being I have ever met, but he manged to produce 3 very self serving children.

Those 3 kids sound like the debil. Seriously. You must have fell for him hard not to run as fast as you could in the opposite direction.

[Duchess]

It's been two hours now and the hummingbird is STILL flying around in my garage.

Do you have a feeder you can fill and set outside the garage so it can see the color red out there?

[cannongal]

Those 3 kids sound like the debil. Seriously. You must have fell for him hard not to run as fast as you could in the opposite direction.

Lol, his kids don't like me much, they never have. I'm not one to throw a blanket over the elephant in the room.

I've had his son arrested a few times & called the state on the middle one regarding the kids. I had custody of the grandkids for about 6 months (roughly 2 years ago). The state told them to go to parenting classes and gave the kids back to them. The next time I get custody, they ain't going back, I don't care if I have to move out of the country for 10 years.

[username]

It's been two hours now and the hummingbird is STILL flying around in my garage.

Do you have a feeder you can fill and set outside the garage so it can see the color red out there?

I do. I'll try it when I get home. It's pouring but I've gotta get that little sucker out of there. They're so fast I'm afraid it's going to fly in to the house when I go in/out a door to the garage.

[Duchess]

I'm not one to throw a blanket over the elephant in the room.

I like that quality in people, it's an honest quality, good or bad I always want to know where I stand with someone. Can't stand insincerity.

[Duchess]

I do. I'll try it when I get home.

Good luck! I'm amazed it's not flying out the wide open door.

[username]

I do. I'll try it when I get home.

Good luck! I'm amazed it's not flying out the wide open door.

I guess it's sick of the rain too.

[Duchess]

They expend a serious amount of energy, they need an almost constant source of nourishment, if it doesn't get out there and start feeding it will die.

[username]

They expend a serious amount of energy, they need an almost constant source of nourishment, if it doesn't get out there and start feeding it will die.

:(

I put the feeder in front of the garage and hung a big red towel just outside of the garage hoping one or the other would attract it. It's the most confused little bird I've ever seen. It will swoop down a little bit but as it gets close to the open garage door, it hugs the ceiling. Go figure.

Damn Google is awesome. Now I know why it keeps landing on the freaking opener. The article says I should hold a rake up by the garage door opener and it might land on it. Off to the shed....

Enter the Law of Unintended Consequences. The government requires every electric garage door opener to have a release handle so if it becomes stuck, you can pull this handle to manually raise and lower the door. If you step out into your garage and look up, you’ll see that this dangling little handle is, that’s right, RED, and shaped roughly like a trumpet vine flower. You’re already ahead of me, aren’t you?
The unintended consequence of that red handle is that a hummingbird flies by an open garage, sees a little red “flower” inside, and zips in to investigate. Upon finding they can’t stick their tongues inside that plastic handle for some nectar, most turn around and leave. But a surprising number make a fatal error—they fly up. Regardless of the reason, once they get it in their heads that “up” is the only way out, they refuse to fly through the open door.
- See more at: http://thrivinghomeblog.com/2014/07/how-...bGa9u.dpuf

[Duchess]

it hugs the ceiling.

Aww, he's very scared, staying up high means staying out of the way of danger...like I know what the little bird thinks.

User, it was brilliant thinking to use the red towel like that.

[blueberryhill]

User, I read where you were told to use rake to get your little bird to land on. Several years ago, here in Phoenix burb, i had bird fly into house and it went into bedroom. I went out to garage and grabbed a long tool; think it was rake of some kind. it did land on it and i carried it outside. I realize this isn't your problem now, but who knew that would work. Interesting about bird thinking your garage puller upper is a flower....because it is red...wave your red panties on the front porch.

[Duchess]

wave your red panties on the front porch.

Pix!